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how does visitation work when bd lives far away?

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Bd is trying or at least threatening to take me to court because I won't let him take DD with him. He doesn't provide for her in anyway. Maybe a few outfits once a year...... He complains because he does not want to drive to see DD and does not call often.





I'm just wondering what happens with visitation when bd lives at least 3 hours away & I am the only caregiver for DD since day 1, and her surroundings up here are farrrrrr better than down there with him. I don't trust him, his family, or his friends. Ita driving me insane to even think a judge will rule in his favor. Oh btw he has no job, no car , and lives with his mother (he's 27).
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by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:22 PM
Replies (31-40):
SoKamele
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:43 AM

You are not guartneed sole custody. Be prepared for that. You will most likely be awarded residential custody.......if I were you I would go and take care of it now...and not leave it up to him.

That way you are more likely to get what you want...and he will have to come to your hometown for the court hearings.

victoriangavin
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:45 AM

 Hopefully e is all talk and continue to keep her away from him and as my mom always tells me keep your nose clean :)


Quoting _AshlynNicole:

Yeah, exactly that's why I don't let him take her. Honestly I think he is all talk.

Quoting victoriangavin:

 In that case I would get a lawyer and file for emergency custody... if he wants to play dirty he can kidnap the baby and unfortunatly you can't do anything without custody papers


 


Quoting _AshlynNicole:

:( unfortunately he is..... But we haven't been to court for anything and she has always lived with me


Quoting victoriangavin:


Is he on the bc? Have ya'll already been to court for custody and child support? has he already been awarded visitation and a schedule? If he isn't and ya'll haven't than he can kiss your ass cuz by law if he is not on the bc then there is no father and he has NO rights to her and if he does try to take her that is kidnapping



 


 


 


 

_AshlynNicole
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:46 AM
Really?? Even though he's done nothing for her and she's already 3?

Quoting SoKamele:

You are not guartneed sole custody. Be prepared for that. You will most likely be awarded residential custody.......if I were you I would go and take care of it now...and not leave it up to him.

That way you are more likely to get what you want...and he will have to come to your hometown for the court hearings.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
_AshlynNicole
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:47 AM
Oh yeah! Lol I couldn't get in any trouble if I wanted to, I don't have the time :)

Quoting victoriangavin:

 Hopefully e is all talk and continue to keep her away from him and as my mom always tells me keep your nose clean :)




Quoting _AshlynNicole:

Yeah, exactly that's why I don't let him take her. Honestly I think he is all talk.


Quoting victoriangavin:


 In that case I would get a lawyer and file for emergency custody... if he wants to play dirty he can kidnap the baby and unfortunatly you can't do anything without custody papers



 



Quoting _AshlynNicole:

:( unfortunately he is..... But we haven't been to court for anything and she has always lived with me



Quoting victoriangavin:



Is he on the bc? Have ya'll already been to court for custody and child support? has he already been awarded visitation and a schedule? If he isn't and ya'll haven't than he can kiss your ass cuz by law if he is not on the bc then there is no father and he has NO rights to her and if he does try to take her that is kidnapping




 



 



 




 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
SoKamele
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:52 AM

Yes, really. Don't fool yourself into thinking you got this in the bag. You don't. Your best actions would be to go and file custody NOW....and lay it out in the paperwork and with the mediator and the judge...and documentation documentation documentation!!!!!

If BD decides to stake a serious claim....you could be in some serious trouble.

OH.....and always be nice...no matter how you feel...and try to be fair...it will look better on you....let him hang himself.


Quoting _AshlynNicole:

Really?? Even though he's done nothing for her and she's already 3?

Quoting SoKamele:

You are not guartneed sole custody. Be prepared for that. You will most likely be awarded residential custody.......if I were you I would go and take care of it now...and not leave it up to him.

That way you are more likely to get what you want...and he will have to come to your hometown for the court hearings.


victoriangavin
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:54 AM

 Lol I have no way to get into trouble and no one to do it with! My mom reminds me just about every day that I need to concentrate on my son and finishing my degree. It will keep me out of trouble and his father won't have ammo if he ever decided to pull anything! However he puts EVERYTHING on fb and I save it all for just in case :)


Quoting _AshlynNicole:

Oh yeah! Lol I couldn't get in any trouble if I wanted to, I don't have the time :)

Quoting victoriangavin:

 Hopefully e is all talk and continue to keep her away from him and as my mom always tells me keep your nose clean :)


 


Quoting _AshlynNicole:

Yeah, exactly that's why I don't let him take her. Honestly I think he is all talk.


Quoting victoriangavin:


 In that case I would get a lawyer and file for emergency custody... if he wants to play dirty he can kidnap the baby and unfortunatly you can't do anything without custody papers



 



Quoting _AshlynNicole:

:( unfortunately he is..... But we haven't been to court for anything and she has always lived with me



Quoting victoriangavin:



Is he on the bc? Have ya'll already been to court for custody and child support? has he already been awarded visitation and a schedule? If he isn't and ya'll haven't than he can kiss your ass cuz by law if he is not on the bc then there is no father and he has NO rights to her and if he does try to take her that is kidnapping




 



 



 


 


 


 

themrsrick
by Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 12:50 AM
why don't you trust him with her? If he needs supervision, I'm sure the court would rule for her protection in an ideal world. This not being an ideal world, bring all the proof you can!
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mandyjschmidt
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:51 AM
My sons dad lives out of town too. It sounds like ur in the same type of situation I was in several years ago. I was the only caregiver for my son for 5 yrs, his dad didnt even see him every other weekend then all of a sudden when I moved out of town BD took me to court & got visitation. Then my son was gone for extended periods of time. It's been hard on both of us considering we hv never been apart for that long. Hang in there hopefully BD is just blowing smoke.
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mrsary
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 7:00 AM
We live in Tx & ex h lives in Wisconsin. Our kids are 3 & 4. He has not seen them in 3 yrs & hasn't used any of his supervised visits. Of course he says its my fault but its his responsibility to pay to pick them up & mine to get them home. Him being a deadbeat makes life so much easier. He was very abusive towards our son & I. I lead him to believe I want him around so he won't come around. He falls for it and brags about how much he is hurting me by staying away! Smh.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 18, 2013 at 11:59 AM

who moved and how long ago? you may have to meet half way or if you are the one that made the decision to move that far maybe the whole depending on what  the judge says

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