Today is my son's 9th birthday. Should be a happy day, right? Well he just left to stay with his dad until Tuesday night and I can't stop crying. This is the first birthday in 9 years that I have not spent with him and I'm so sad.
I could tell something was bothering him but he was trying to be strong like he usually is. Right before he walks out the door he tells me that he is upset because he doesn't get to spend his birthday with me. My heart is broken.
It's days like this I wonder if I should have just put up with my ex until the kids were older. I know that I couldn't have and it would have been more damaging to myself and the kids, but I still feel like a shitty person for making my kids have to split their time, especially holiday and birthdays.
If I could do it, you can do it. Stay strong. and be happy you get him every other day/night to spend with.
It's hard to share kids with exes. I know my mom had to give up some Christmases so we kids could spend that day with our father. My mom ended up having Christmas Eve with us. But, she knew she had to share us with our father. They were divorced and my dad deserved his time with us, too. Hugs for you, mama. BUT, you will have time with your son. It may not be on his b-day, but it's time none the same.
Thanks for all the encouragement ladies. I am feeling much better. I just had a bit of a "moment" when he left. It's nice to have a place to share where other people know what you are going through. Thanks again!
Good news, im so excited!
- LauraMH
on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:21 AM