Today is my son's 9th birthday. Should be a happy day, right? Well he just left to stay with his dad until Tuesday night and I can't stop crying. This is the first birthday in 9 years that I have not spent with him and I'm so sad.
I could tell something was bothering him but he was trying to be strong like he usually is. Right before he walks out the door he tells me that he is upset because he doesn't get to spend his birthday with me. My heart is broken.
It's days like this I wonder if I should have just put up with my ex until the kids were older. I know that I couldn't have and it would have been more damaging to myself and the kids, but I still feel like a shitty person for making my kids have to split their time, especially holiday and birthdays.