Ok so my daughter just turned 3 January 6th. Currently with the court ordered parenting agreement my daughter spends 5 days a week with my ex husband from 10am to 6pm, then when I get out of work I pick her up (he works overnights, long story about the custody agreement, but thats another post).
Anyway, so she spends about 8 hours a day with her father, his mother (he lives with her), and her younger cousin who his mother babysits all day (who's not even 2 yet). Theres another baby due in March, so now my daughter will spend her days with two babies. She often comes home and makes baby noises, barks, and does all the goog goo ga ga stuff because they let her do that over there apparently. She'll even crawl sometimes, and I feel like all I do is re-direct the bahavior. She is VERY smart though, and I almost feel she is going backwards not even being in a pre school situation now. She was walking at 10 months, talking and hitting every milestone months before., however lately I feel like all I am doing is correcting bad bahavior (not sharing, purposely ignoring, everything is "hers" and she won't potty train).
So the situation is, I asked her father to tour a pre school with me for this fall, where our daughter will be going on 4 at that point. (Pre School starts mid September, and she'll turn 4, 3 months later). The tour went great and she had a good time, although 10 minutes into being in the classroom setting, she already was grabbing markers and refusing to share. Wouldn't that TELL YOU how badlt she NEEDS to be around children her own age?! Anyway- so when we left the tour we got into a huge argument because he doesn't want her to start preschool (mind you its only 3 days a week from 9 to 12 noon), until shes 4 years old. Another words he said he doesn't want her to start in September with all the other kids, but in January when she turns 4.
I can't wrap my brain around WHY someone would intentially throw their kid into school for the first time 3 months into the school year on PURPOSE, when all the other children at that point will have established friendships, have gotten over the separation anxiety, and have gone through 3 months worth of their workbooks. They were already on letter M, when we toured the school in January, so another words if she starts next Jan. She'd have to play catch up with her work book and be behind everyone else. I've argued with him, tried to reason with him thats theres NO legit reason why she can't start with everyone else. She'll be the OLDEST in the class and turn 4 before all the other kids and she'd be the one behind everyone else. Its makes me livid that I cannot make her educational decisions without him agreeing (shared custody).
This is vital to her development and he's just toying with this for spite, but how could this be fair as her first ever experience with school?? There is absolutely no reason to start a child 3 months late for NO reason other than HE wants her to be four first? I was debating just telling him I would pay the three months from Sept to Dec, but how is that fair to me? I don't have 600 dollars lying around and I am struggling as is because his child suppost is a joke and he has no bills because he lives with his mother. He is suppose to pay 1/2 her educational expenses........Or I could just try and sign her up for January, because being forced to start 3 months late is better than no pre school at all. The thought of her being over there in front of the TV all day, with babies everyday, and then getting put into kindergarden at 5 and REALLY having to play catch up to all the other kids who'd be developmentally ahead of her.....its not fair and ......it just disgusts me. He's not even putting in any effort to teach her anything, potty train or anything., being he sees her MORE than I do during the day......it pains me that they're holding her back, meanwhile the 3 year olds we saw during the tour were putting puzzles together, out of diapers, sharing and doing everything I KNOW my daughter CAN do, if her selfish father would stop holding her back.
EDITED ----Ok everyone I got some new info. This is actually how the schedule will be. She would start this fall in a part time pre school program (she will turn 4), thats monday, weds and fri from 9 to noon. THEN break for summer, then go back the following fall--TURN 5, and be in full time pre school 5 days a week....break for summer....SO when she actually starts kindergarden she will turn 6 three months into the kindergarden school year. SORRY for the confusion!!!