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In Wisconsin co parenting with a father in Montana.

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Here is the back story my son is 5 years old. His father wasn't involved in my son's life until he was 3 years old. I was honest with him the entire time (We had broke up before I found out I was pregnant and never got back together.) I told him when I found out that I was pregnant, that I was having a boy when I found out and when my son was born. I didn't ask for any child support for the first year because he was a year away from graduating from college. I felt it was important for him to finish his college degree and didn't want him to drop out because having to pay child support. The firsht year of our son's life he saw him 4 times. With in the first two years he saw hime less then 10 times.

He didn't tell his family about our son. Instead his mother found out when my child was 2 years old through child support papers he left somewhere in the open. His family didn't meet him until just before his 3rd birthday. I have bent over backwards making sure they got to know my son and built a relationship with him. However they never recipricated whenever I needed extra help (I go to school full time and work.) I recently found out through my son that whenever he was at his dad's fro the weekend, he would either have a sleepover at his friend's Kenny and Austins house, or spend most of the time with his grandmother.

I recently moved from Montana (his father and his family still live there) to Wisconsin. This had its backlash as expected but I did not expect the degree of backlash. His mother basically called me every name in the book and told me how horrible I was for ripping my son away from them, and how I couldn't legally do this. I informed her before I told anyone I had spoken with an attorney to see what  rights I had and what the father and  grandparents could do. I told her that I may have been leaving the state when I graduated that sooner or later this would have happened. 

SInce I have been here they have only talked to my son a couple of times. I make sure he calls them but they have only called him once. I have left the door open for communication. I have made sure my son sent letters and pictures he's drawn to them, I have him call them whenever there is free time. Recently I bought a webcam for his father so that they can chat via Skype. (Previously I mentioned that you could get a cheap one on Amazon for $15-20 if they can afford to travel to Belize and Mexico surely they have money to invest in a cheap web cam) I have sent emails you name it I have done it. They hardly reply to my emails, nothing. 

Now I am at wits end. They only talk to him whenever it is convient for them but make me feel like crap saying how much the miss him. I am a person who judges those by not only words but by actions. And the way they have been acting I don't really believe they miss him as much as they say because I would think if they did, they would make more of an effort to keep in touch. 

This summer they are supposed to have my son for 1/2 of the summer. I am almost at the point of saying "NO". I have lived in Wisconsin for 2 months and they have made no effort whatsoever. We currenlty do not have a parenting plan (I drew up papers for one but never submitted them do to moving to another county when I did it, in montana I had to live in the county I was filing for 6 months. My son's father thinks we have a parenting plan because I asked for his imput for visitation, but they were never filed nor was he ever served with papers). I am half tempted to tell them if they want him for the summer or they want to see him to take me to court. I am done bending over backwards. 

Am I being too harsh on this? Does any one have advice on how to handle this situation? Does anyone know about Wisconsin family law? About visitation, fathers rights ect. 

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:46 PM
Replies (11-13):
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:59 PM

It still does not give you the right to move out of state. The courts will decide what visitation you get and if you have to provide transportation.

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:07 PM

I agree.  Good luck to you.

Quoting Robsessed98:

If you have no legal papers saying he gets that time, its up to you whether he goes or not. Keep the communication going, but don't keep going out of your way to keep in touch. If they want to talk to him, they will call.


by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:26 AM

So I don't have the right to move in order to better provide for my son? I don't have that right when some months he doesn't pay his cs yet he has toys that he could easily sell (A truck, A 1980s something cameo, and a harley)? He lives with his mother and his jobs are under the table so he doesn't have to pay cs. And I had the nerve to move. I moved because I got into a nursing school, I got a better paying job here and no longer have to have gov assistance. So I don't have a right am I understanding you correctly? 

Quoting Oliviasmom72:

It still does not give you the right to move out of state. The courts will decide what visitation you get and if you have to provide transportation.

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