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Need advice on custody, supervised visitation ect.

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 2:53 AM
  • 6 Replies

Hi, I'm not really sure if this is going to help me any, but I'm a single mom of two boys, hence my user name, their father was a part of my oldests sons life until he was about 7 months old, he is 3 now, and he has spent about a month with him since, and our youngest son who is now 2, he has also only been a part of his life for about a month. My childrens father, I'll call him James (to protect his privacy), has been in and out of jail/prision for the last 2 and a half years, and before his first arrest we were in a relationship and we had a custody agreement made up for our oldest son which states he can take him from Friday until Sunday, I've filed to get this agreement changed but each time I did he would, if there was a better word I would use it, but minpulate me into thinking that he was going to change and we were going to be a family, and I would back out of having the order changed. However, I have finally said enough is enough, after he started writing checks out in my name, and he is now currently out of jail again and he says he wants to see my kids. I've tried explaining to him that they don't know him and I'm afraid that he is going to take off with them, which lead to an argument between us and now he is going around telling everyone that I won't let him take our kids because I tell people he molested them, which is entirely NOT TRUE, and he keeps bad mouthing me to anyone he can stating that all I do is lie, cause drama, that I'm crazy ect. ect. I have no way of getting a hold of him, he refuses to give me his phone number or tell me where he's staying, and I've tried talking to lawyers, one lawyer told me that he wouldn't represent me because I backed out of two custody changes in the past, and now because I reported the fradulent checks we have court coming up for that so I'm scared that any judge will be like your only doing this becuase you have court, but my children don't know him, he don't know them, he don't know anything about being a father, he has no job (that i know of) I have no idea where he would be taking them, or who they would be around, how they would get there (he doesn't have a license), and no way of getting ahold of him, and honestly I'm scared, I work, I'm taking classes to get my degree, and I live alone who's to say he wont just come over? Everyone I turn to for advice tells me to just forget it, he probably wont come anyway, he'll be back in jail, but I need to do something, I can't keep living my life looking over my sholder for when he decides it's time to play daddy for the day. What can I do? Would filing for supervised visitation just be in his favor due to the court charges? Should I try to find a lawyer? Can I file for full custody and exempt him from their lives completely? Please help me..

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 2:53 AM
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by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:46 AM
1 mom liked this
You do need to find a lawyer and get it done. Don't let him manipulate you again. Let your lawyer talk for you.
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by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:53 PM
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The one lawyer does have a point - you willingly backed out of 2 previous modifications so what's to say you're serious about it now? If you have a custody agreement in place, really that should be followed until it's legally modified. If the guy takes off with the children, you now have a case for custodial interference and kidnapping. Keep trying for a lawyer though.

by Gold Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:22 PM

I"m not sure how that works but here's a bump for you.  Hugs!!1

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 6:13 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:52 PM

I won't know it again, the two times before I tried to have it modified he would tell me that I was ruining my childrens lives, I was ruining my life, no one would ever love me the way he did, I would end up alone, I was crazy (at the time I was diagnosed with post partum so I was on medication) so it wouldn't work out anyway, he was going to change, it was every excuse in the book and at the time I loved him, I wanted it to work for the sake of my children, I didn't want a broken family, I grew up without my dad and I didn't want this for my children but now, I do still have love for him, but I'm not in love with him and I am able to clearly see that he's doing more damage to my kids and to me by this hanging over me, it's stressing me out and I can't be stressed out my kids do that enough :)

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:59 PM
Welcome follow through is key or they won't take you serious
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