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New to group! Need Advice on dealing w/bad ex!

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:03 PM
  • 6 Replies

Good evening! I am a young mom of a four year old (almost) and have been having many issues with consistency and acting out. I have my son mon-sat and his father and his parents take him for me so that I can work sat/sun. We have what we call daddy detox day sunday night and monday.... They are the worst of the week. It is always bad, he is mean to me says harsh things and does not listen. He's told me many times after I leave him alone in our bedroom and say I will come back when he's ready to be nice. He sometimes comes to me bawling saying daddy told him to say those mean things. Others when I calm down from being upset from the hurtful things he's said I;ll go in there and he will just go to bed nicely or just start listening cuz he knows i'm serious. By thursday and friday he starts to behave but the other days are so horrible and take so much out of me mentally, emotionally, and physically. I dont let him get away with those mean words (i hate you, i want you to go away and never come bacK, I want to live with my daddy, im going to kill this or that or i want to die) His father has issues with substance abuse and not good with kids at all... 

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:03 PM
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Replies (1-6):
blueboo40
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:42 PM

Hey girlie..i just read your post..like woah...thats serious issues..Im sorry that you're having to go through this. I know i wouldnt want my son to say those things to me.And i can understand your frustration with having your flesh and blood repeat those things that he hears..do you think you could talk with the fathers parents and see if there is a way that he has supervised visits? (just to stop the negative influence) i would try to tell my child how hurtful those words are and not repeat them,..i will pray on your situation, i hope things get better for you..

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 20, 2013 at 12:01 AM
You need to get him into counseling to help him learn to deal with his anger it's never to young. Please give him the help he's asking for
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faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 1:45 AM
Actually most kids act out when they transition at that age. You need proof of something to change visitation. And if this schedule isn't legal he could take you to court and he'd probably get a similar amount of time.
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steviechick
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:41 AM

 


Quoting blueboo40:

Hey girlie..i just read your post..like woah...thats serious issues..Im sorry that you're having to go through this. I know i wouldnt want my son to say those things to me.And i can understand your frustration with having your flesh and blood repeat those things that he hears..do you think you could talk with the fathers parents and see if there is a way that he has supervised visits? (just to stop the negative influence) i would try to tell my child how hurtful those words are and not repeat them,..i will pray on your situation, i hope things get better for you..


 ^^ This.  Also, since your ex is able to have visitation rights with your son and your ex abuses drugs I would first try and talk to the grandparents about supervised visits.  If that doesn't work out then I would pursue getting those visitation rights lifted.  Your child is definately being affected by his father's behavior and he's being abused.  He's only four and he's at a very heightened learning stage from his own father that it's okay to talk and behave this way to you.  You need to quell that behavior fast.  In the meantime, continue to reach out to your son about his behavior and try and guide him into respecting you.  I would get a hold of your atty at let him/her know what's going on. 

Cenedra64
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:47 AM
Those things your son is exposed to are hard enough for an adult to hear. Talk to him. Ive had to have some very honest discussions with my own girls.
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easinpc
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:55 AM

 I agree with this!


Quoting LifeCafe42:

You need to get him into counseling to help him learn to deal with his anger it's never to young. Please give him the help he's asking for


 

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