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Ex wants to get back together

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 12:15 AM
  • 21 Replies

Hi ladies! This is my first post. I need some advise.


Our daughter is 18 months old, we are both very active in her life. We broke up when she was 5 months old. We met at work, his family owns a restaurant/bar and he is a manger (a year older than me) and we started dating, it was great. After the baby, his long hours became too much for me. I felt like I was doing everything myself. He'd help when he was off, but at the time it didn't feel like enough. He worked (still does) five days a week from 5pm till 2 am and sleep all day.

Fast forward to last month, he called me because three of his bartenders quit (I quit when we broke up) to go to another bar. He asked if I would help me out until he could find a replacement because he knew I knew what I was doing and was trust worthy. I agreed because I needed the money and II'm not taking that many classes this semester (grad school). I guess our feelings back for each other, some days we literally spend 12 hours together. I'm still working there one day a week. A few nights ago, we all hung out a bit after work and he told me he still loves me and wanted to get back together. I still love him too, but none of the problems have changed. What do you think? I want an unbiased opinion.

I think we broke up because at the time, I felt I was doing everything. Instead of a joint parenting. It also bothered me because his aunt offered to give him a few weeks off after our daughter was born and he refused or he could have worked during the day.

thanks for reading and helping me out :)

by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 12:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Kelsey89
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:02 PM

BUMP!

mcrowley22
by Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this

My way of thinking is "hes an ex for a reason". Yea people can change and get back together, but unless you guys talk through the issues that you had, things will just stay the same. If you truly want to get back together with him make sure its for you, not just because you may need help with the baby. You are a strong independant woman. Good Luck mama 

camommy08
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:19 PM

i say do what you think it best. if he has changed than take him back but take it slow. If nothing has changed than i say keep things how they are now and tell him that if he truely wants a second chance he needs to show you that he worthy of a second chance. just be careful

Kelsey89
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:22 PM


Very true! I don't need  help now like I did. I guess it just feels like old times spending a lot of time with him. 

Quoting mcrowley22:

My way of thinking is "hes an ex for a reason". Yea people can change and get back together, but unless you guys talk through the issues that you had, things will just stay the same. If you truly want to get back together with him make sure its for you, not just because you may need help with the baby. You are a strong independant woman. Good Luck mama 



Kelsey89
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:23 PM


Good point. I should def talk to him and let him know if I take it further, I want to take it slow.

Quoting camommy08:

i say do what you think it best. if he has changed than take him back but take it slow. If nothing has changed than i say keep things how they are now and tell him that if he truely wants a second chance he needs to show you that he worthy of a second chance. just be careful



camommy08
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:24 PM

 

good luck hope everything works out for the best!!

Quoting Kelsey89:

 

Good point. I should def talk to him and let him know if I take it further, I want to take it slow.

Quoting camommy08:

i say do what you think it best. if he has changed than take him back but take it slow. If nothing has changed than i say keep things how they are now and tell him that if he truely wants a second chance he needs to show you that he worthy of a second chance. just be careful

 

 


 

Kelsey89
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:26 PM


Thank you :)

Quoting camommy08:


good luck hope everything works out for the best!!

Quoting Kelsey89:


Good point. I should def talk to him and let him know if I take it further, I want to take it slow.

Quoting camommy08:

i say do what you think it best. if he has changed than take him back but take it slow. If nothing has changed than i say keep things how they are now and tell him that if he truely wants a second chance he needs to show you that he worthy of a second chance. just be careful







Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:37 PM

Welcome.  Maybe sit down and talk to him and tell him completely how you feel, what you want if you decide to try dating again and see if he willing to make some changes. 

Kelsey89
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:53 PM

I feel like I still care and love him so I owe it to myself to find out. I'm worried he will change for a while then we'll fall into the same patterns. I don't want our daughter getting confused. 

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

Welcome.  Maybe sit down and talk to him and tell him completely how you feel, what you want if you decide to try dating again and see if he willing to make some changes. 



Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:44 AM
Understandable. But remember only you and your heart know what's right!

Quoting Kelsey89:

I feel like I still care and love him so I owe it to myself to find out. I'm worried he will change for a while then we'll fall into the same patterns. I don't want our daughter getting confused. 


Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

Welcome.  Maybe sit down and talk to him and tell him completely how you feel, what you want if you decide to try dating again and see if he willing to make some changes. 




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