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Does it make me a bad person...edit

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:11 AM
  • 20 Replies

Because I won't let my dd bf take her out of my sight. He don't want anything to do with her unless its convenient and on top of that he's dating a alcoholic/drug addict and he himself is also doing both and I don't like the idea of that being around my child, he calls me names for it but when I tried getting him around her he made up every excuse in the book to not see her he would repeatedly lie to me about why he can't see her this time etc and I don't feel my daughter needs to be used like that...  



Side note his gf has a 3yo that she legally don't even have custody of due to being proven as an unfit mother. And my dd is 2

There is NO visitation agreement.

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by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
steviechick
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:43 AM

Not sure what your visitation agreement is but in this case I would look into going back to court about the visitation rights of the father.  And, since he chooses to live his life around drugs and alcohol that would be a huge factor in his rights as a father to even be around his own child.  Can you talk to your atty or file for a motion to stop the father's visitation rights?  I would be very worried about the gf and her being an unfit mother.  You do have the upper hand in how your child is being raised by his own father.

mmyof2armywife
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:47 AM


There is no agreement he's not even on her birth certificate.

Quoting steviechick:

Not sure what your visitation agreement is but in this case I would look into going back to court about the visitation rights of the father.  And, since he chooses to live his life around drugs and alcohol that would be a huge factor in his rights as a father to even be around his own child.  Can you talk to your atty or file for a motion to stop the father's visitation rights?  I would be very worried about the gf and her being an unfit mother.  You do have the upper hand in how your child is being raised by his own father.



easinpc
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:51 AM

If he is not on the birth certificate and there is nothing legally set up with the courts saying you have to let him have your child then I wouldn't.  I would also make sure you have it set up with the courts that you have sole custody (not sure how that works if he's not on the birth certificate/child support/etc). 

steviechick
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:51 AM

 


Quoting mmyof2armywife:

 

There is no agreement he's not even on her birth certificate.

Quoting steviechick:

Not sure what your visitation agreement is but in this case I would look into going back to court about the visitation rights of the father.  And, since he chooses to live his life around drugs and alcohol that would be a huge factor in his rights as a father to even be around his own child.  Can you talk to your atty or file for a motion to stop the father's visitation rights?  I would be very worried about the gf and her being an unfit mother.  You do have the upper hand in how your child is being raised by his own father.

 

 


If there is no visitation agreement and his name is not on the bc then I wouldnt' allow him to see her at all.  If he wants to see her then go through visitation rights via the court system.  That's when you can bring out how your ex lives and who he spends his time with.  You truly hold the cards in your child's welfare.

mmyof2armywife
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:01 AM


Idk how to do the sole custody thing. He pays cs but won't take 10 minutes out of his day to get his name but on her bc.

Quoting steviechick:



Quoting mmyof2armywife:


There is no agreement he's not even on her birth certificate.

Quoting steviechick:

Not sure what your visitation agreement is but in this case I would look into going back to court about the visitation rights of the father.  And, since he chooses to live his life around drugs and alcohol that would be a huge factor in his rights as a father to even be around his own child.  Can you talk to your atty or file for a motion to stop the father's visitation rights?  I would be very worried about the gf and her being an unfit mother.  You do have the upper hand in how your child is being raised by his own father.




If there is no visitation agreement and his name is not on the bc then I wouldnt' allow him to see her at all.  If he wants to see her then go through visitation rights via the court system.  That's when you can bring out how your ex lives and who he spends his time with.  You truly hold the cards in your child's welfare.



breebree04
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:06 AM

If there is no visitation agreement set up through the courts then I would not let him take her. Your dd safety is the most important thing. If he makes a big deal about seeing her tell him he can take you to court. If that happens then you can bring up possible drug/alcohol abuse at his house to the judge.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:09 AM

 


Quoting mmyof2armywife:

 

Idk how to do the sole custody thing. He pays cs but won't take 10 minutes out of his day to get his name but on her bc.

Quoting steviechick:

 

 

Quoting mmyof2armywife:

 

There is no agreement he's not even on her birth certificate.

Quoting steviechick:

Not sure what your visitation agreement is but in this case I would look into going back to court about the visitation rights of the father.  And, since he chooses to live his life around drugs and alcohol that would be a huge factor in his rights as a father to even be around his own child.  Can you talk to your atty or file for a motion to stop the father's visitation rights?  I would be very worried about the gf and her being an unfit mother.  You do have the upper hand in how your child is being raised by his own father.

 

 

 

If there is no visitation agreement and his name is not on the bc then I wouldnt' allow him to see her at all.  If he wants to see her then go through visitation rights via the court system.  That's when you can bring out how your ex lives and who he spends his time with.  You truly hold the cards in your child's welfare.

 

 

Why isn't his name on the bc?  This should have been done shortly after your child was born.  Your ex seems to be at least be a stand-up guy in supporting his own child.  That is a huge plus.  However, you still need to work out the visitation issue.  Your child's safety and well being is very important.  Can you file for full custody on your own?  Were you ever married to him?  If not, then you need to have something legally done to ensure your kids aren't exposed to your ex's bad lifestyle.  However, I think your ex's name needs to be on the bc in order for you to ensure cs payments are made and visitation rights are kept to a minimum or not allowed at all.  Your ex needs to be proven he is the father.   And, since he chooses to live in a bad way and associate himself with bad people, you need to make sure he continues to help financially support his kids. 

mmyof2armywife
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:10 AM

I want to but he has this life threatening problem. He swears he's even killed people before and he don't care who you are he will kill you... He told me he flat out threatened his gf to her face... :/


Quoting breebree04:

If there is no visitation agreement set up through the courts then I would not let him take her. Your dd safety is the most important thing. If he makes a big deal about seeing her tell him he can take you to court. If that happens then you can bring up possible drug/alcohol abuse at his house to the judge.



mmyof2armywife
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:12 AM


He didn't come to the hospital when she was born due to being married at the time and no we only dated. And we've had a DNA test and trust me if he didn't have to pay he wouldn't. He's going to court right now for not paying for 3 months and he even had a warrant out for his arrest due to not paying. 

Quoting steviechick:



Quoting mmyof2armywife:


Idk how to do the sole custody thing. He pays cs but won't take 10 minutes out of his day to get his name but on her bc.

Quoting steviechick:



Quoting mmyof2armywife:


There is no agreement he's not even on her birth certificate.

Quoting steviechick:

Not sure what your visitation agreement is but in this case I would look into going back to court about the visitation rights of the father.  And, since he chooses to live his life around drugs and alcohol that would be a huge factor in his rights as a father to even be around his own child.  Can you talk to your atty or file for a motion to stop the father's visitation rights?  I would be very worried about the gf and her being an unfit mother.  You do have the upper hand in how your child is being raised by his own father.




If there is no visitation agreement and his name is not on the bc then I wouldnt' allow him to see her at all.  If he wants to see her then go through visitation rights via the court system.  That's when you can bring out how your ex lives and who he spends his time with.  You truly hold the cards in your child's welfare.



Why isn't his name on the bc?  This should have been done shortly after your child was born.  Your ex seems to be at least be a stand-up guy in supporting his own child.  That is a huge plus.  However, you still need to work out the visitation issue.  Your child's safety and well being is very important.  Can you file for full custody on your own?  Were you ever married to him?  If not, then you need to have something legally done to ensure your kids aren't exposed to your ex's bad lifestyle.  However, I think your ex's name needs to be on the bc in order for you to ensure cs payments are made and visitation rights are kept to a minimum or not allowed at all.  Your ex needs to be proven he is the father.   And, since he chooses to live in a bad way and associate himself with bad people, you need to make sure he continues to help financially support his kids. 



breebree04
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:15 AM

 Although that may be scary for you, that is more of a reason to keep your dd away from him. You can get a restraining order if he starts threatening you


Quoting mmyof2armywife:

I want to but he has this life threatening problem. He swears he's even killed people before and he don't care who you are he will kill you... He told me he flat out threatened his gf to her face... :/

 

Quoting breebree04:

If there is no visitation agreement set up through the courts then I would not let him take her. Your dd safety is the most important thing. If he makes a big deal about seeing her tell him he can take you to court. If that happens then you can bring up possible drug/alcohol abuse at his house to the judge.

 

 


 

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