Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Does it make me a bad person...edit

Because I won't let my dd bf take her out of my sight. He don't want anything to do with her unless its convenient and on top of that he's dating a alcoholic/drug addict and he himself is also doing both and I don't like the idea of that being around my child, he calls me names for it but when I tried getting him around her he made up every excuse in the book to not see her he would repeatedly lie to me about why he can't see her this time etc and I don't feel my daughter needs to be used like that...  



Side note his gf has a 3yo that she legally don't even have custody of due to being proven as an unfit mother. And my dd is 2

There is NO visitation agreement.

>Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
Lilypie First Birthday tickers


Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:11 AM
Replies (11-20):
shikara1980
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:15 AM

I totally agree with you about not wanting him to be with her alone.  My soon to be ex husband is a drunk drug addict and extremely mentally verbally and physically abusive towards me and has hit my son while in the process of hitting me.  He NEVER helped me with him when we were together unless it was convenient for him.  Now that I have left and moved 750 miles away from him he wants to be able to take him back to sc to visit with him.  I am trying to get a court order prohibiting that because of how he is.  Even when we were together I NEVER left my son alone with him becase of the 24/7 drinking.  Believe me hun it definatly doesnt make you a bad person becasue you are protecting your child.  and with him not even having any orders or even being on the bc you dont have to let him so her AT ALL!!!  In the laws eyes that is your child not his.  You do everything in your power to protect your child.  thats what makes an awsome mom.  let him be a deadbeat becasue if he is doing all that crap she is better off without him and when she gets older she will respect the decision you made because you were keeping her safe.  Good luck and if you ever wanna chat message me.  I am new here and dont know many people

steviechick
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:18 AM
1 mom liked this

Since the courts have already recognized the contempt of court charge then that's a bonus for you.  IF the ex refuses to pay cs he will go to jail.  He knows this so he won't mess around.  Agree on the restraining order.  I would certainly pursue visitation rights just for the safety of your child. 

mmyof2armywife
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:19 AM


I moved away and he swore if I moved any further then I was he was going to get me for kidnapping my dd and idk if he really can but its not worth the risk. My children are my life 

Quoting shikara1980:

I totally agree with you about not wanting him to be with her alone.  My soon to be ex husband is a drunk drug addict and extremely mentally verbally and physically abusive towards me and has hit my son while in the process of hitting me.  He NEVER helped me with him when we were together unless it was convenient for him.  Now that I have left and moved 750 miles away from him he wants to be able to take him back to sc to visit with him.  I am trying to get a court order prohibiting that because of how he is.  Even when we were together I NEVER left my son alone with him becase of the 24/7 drinking.  Believe me hun it definatly doesnt make you a bad person becasue you are protecting your child.  and with him not even having any orders or even being on the bc you dont have to let him so her AT ALL!!!  In the laws eyes that is your child not his.  You do everything in your power to protect your child.  thats what makes an awsome mom.  let him be a deadbeat becasue if he is doing all that crap she is better off without him and when she gets older she will respect the decision you made because you were keeping her safe.  Good luck and if you ever wanna chat message me.  I am new here and dont know many people



mmyof2armywife
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:21 AM


I don't have any proof of him saying any of it cause it was all face to face.

Quoting steviechick:

Since the courts have already recognized the contempt of court charge then that's a bonus for you.  IF the ex refuses to pay cs he will go to jail.  He knows this so he won't mess around.  Agree on the restraining order.  I would certainly pursue visitation rights just for the safety of your child. 



brieri
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 1:55 PM

Do youhave a court order and what does it say?  Don't need to answer here, but answer yourself.

mmyof2armywife
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:40 PM

Easy answer. No. 


Quoting brieri:

Do youhave a court order and what does it say?  Don't need to answer here, but answer yourself.



Robsessed98
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 6:03 PM
If you have a legal visitation order you can't keep her from going with him. You need to go back to court and have it modified. If you don't have anything legal, then tell him he can only see her under supervision, and take him to court to ensure that he can't take her anyway.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mmyof2armywife
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:11 PM


There is no visitation agreement what so ever his name isn't even on her birth certificate.

Quoting Robsessed98:

If you have a legal visitation order you can't keep her from going with him. You need to go back to court and have it modified. If you don't have anything legal, then tell him he can only see her under supervision, and take him to court to ensure that he can't take her anyway.



Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 5:52 AM
1 mom liked this

If that were me, I'd cut him out completely.  Better to have no dad around than one who thinks he can come and go as he pleases!  He sounds like a horrible influence.  You are doing the right thing not letting him take the baby alone. 

alexnwyatt
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:37 AM
He can't get you for kid napping since he's not on the birth certificate. I have two children both with diff bf and my oldest has nothing to do with him there's no court order but he does pay cs and there is a DNA test and his name isn't on the birth certificate and never will be. So unless he takes you to court to get visitation or custody (which sounds unlikely) you honestly don't have to allow him to see her cs isn't a agreement saying he can see her it's just what it is cs he helped make her he needs to help support her you need to do what's best for her and it sounds like you are. Just remember she's young now and doesn't understand but she will when she sees why you did what you did also keep a very detailed notebook of conversations with the bf so if he does take you to court you have record of what was said or happened. GOOD LUCK
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN