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Birthdays and Holidays

Posted by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:12 AM
  • 11 Replies
I have been divorced for one yr and just celebrated my kids birthdays not to long ago and I didn't invite the bf or his family to either one. He's mad because he can't afford to do anything for them and wants me to include him in my family events and my family doesn't get along with him and I have finally fixed my relationship between my sis and brother-in-law and don't want to mess that up because he starts coming around again. Any advice on what do do?
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by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Cenedra64
by Bronze Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:16 AM
You cant mix water and oil. Be patient explain to him that the situation cant be rushed. Sometimes takes time for familys to accept.
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breebree04
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:56 AM
1 mom liked this

I wouldnt let him come. Now that your not together he needs to do his own thing with the kids for their bday. My ex did this to me too. He (not his family) wanted to come to the kids parties that I threw instead of having his own. I told him no but finally gave in one year. He refused to help me with money, food, ect for the party and then showed up without a gift. I said never again and have not let him come since. Its his responsibility to do something for the kids and his family or dont do anything and just get them a gift

steviechick
by Gold Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 9:49 AM

Separate yourself and your family from the bf.  He can do his own celebrating with his kids.  Not every family gets along with exes (mine certainly doesn't with my ex).  Respect the family wishes and your own sanity and just have the bf do his own thing with the kids.  My mom and dad are divorced.  My father never went to my mom's family functions after my parents divorced.  We separated our time between each family and celebrated twice for each event.  It worked out great.

alexnwyatt
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:12 AM
Thank you for the advice it helps knowing other people would do the same thing
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brieri
by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 4:23 PM

 Bf the ex?  IF so, then your doing right. 

Robsessed98
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 6:05 PM
Explain to him that his relationship with your family makes it too stressful. He either needs to mend things with them or plan on being excluded in the future too.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 22, 2013 at 12:37 AM

he can do his own he can save for his kids

sid1083
by Silver Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 2:17 AM

 Your family is your family. If HIS family wants to celebrate with the kids, they can do so on his time - especially if there's open animosity.

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 22, 2013 at 6:37 AM
Agreed

Quoting sid1083:

 Your family is your family. If HIS family wants to celebrate with the kids, they can do so on his time - especially if there's open animosity.

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alexnwyatt
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 7:33 AM
I don't ever think he'll be able to mend things with my sister and brother in law it has taken me 3 years to mend things between us because of him and I would rather spend time with them and see my niece then allow him to come to family events. Thanks for the advice :-)
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