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Posted by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:58 AM
  • 11 Replies

Hi my name is KayLee and I'm in the middle of a divorce and I need to know of different things I can do to make my self look even better int he judges eyes. I don't want my ex to think he has the upper hand on me.

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:58 AM
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by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:02 AM

Some of the best advice that was given to me when I first seperated was just to be very active - publicly.  I was told to attend church regularly, join the YMCA, join a parenting group, etc.  These are all ways of "showing" that you are an involved parent that is doing things with their child.  That way there is "evidence" of the activities you have going on - what type of parent you are.

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 11:18 AM

Hi, KayLee and welcome to the group.  Things to make yourself look good before a judge would be - do you provide enough for your child (a decent home, food, clothings, etc.?)  Anyone to vouch personally for character?  Not sure if you are going through a custody battle or not, but there is no judge that will not allow you to keep your child unless you are truly unfit.  Your ex may use scare tactics simply because he's a jerk.  I wouldn't sweat the small stuff.  You will do fine.

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 2:12 PM

My aunt used character witnesses when she got divorced to prove she was a good parent. Talk to your lawyer and see if that's possible. They used a litigator though. Not sure if a judge is different.

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 3:11 PM

Are you asking how to look better to receive more from your husband or for a child custody case because when I went through a divorce, my ex didn't want custody of our son so I went in being as pitiful as I could look and told the judge how he said I should get out of the military with my pregnancy instead of waiting to be officially medically discharged for my legs (which I'm still waiting for my benefits) and how I should sell my owned car to get a nice new one the week I was discharging and how I should go back to school full time and now he is leaving me with all of these expenses and with no income. He had to pay 6 months alimony plus child support. It really helped me get back on my feet. 

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 4:17 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

Always look your best dressed in Court. 

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Welcome. Im going through a divorce myself, Thankfully he has made himself look bad so i really dont have to do much but what i have been doing, which is working, feeding, clothing and providing a stable home for my girls. its hard but its possible.

I have kept text messages from him, i sugguest you do the same just incase he decides to say you have lied about something.

by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 5:58 PM
Live squeaky clean and be totally responsible. Make sure the people around you and the kids are on the up and up too. Obviously you should have been living that way already, but its extra important during custody issues and afterwards because custody can always be modified with good cause.
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by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 12:40 AM


by Gold Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 12:45 PM

Welcome to our group!

by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 7:19 PM

Wow I didn't have to do anything to make myself look good in front of or judge... my ex had to explain how he could quit a job we moved here because of him which landed him an annual salary $90,500 just to quit that job six months later with 3 houses/mortgages, a 9 year old daughter, after working for same job for 23 years just to become self employed... I had all the amunition I needed though, I just didn't need it :)  just showed up with my lawyer looking like a million bucks!!! on top of that he was 25 minutes late for court!!!...Just be on time, show that you are responsible, work , take care of your kids, wear business attire, tell the truth, you should be ok...

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