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I've been surprised by my Ex (UPDATE)

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I finally filed for divorce after 3 years of separation. The background story is that my ex had a woman with 3 kids who posed as his sister while we were dating. We got married and I didn't know he had a family all that time and that I was just a moneybag to him, he was stealing from me to build his real family. He lied about his job (had no job but said he was an intelligence officer),everything and he never contributed financially while we were married till I got broke and was heavily in debt with 3 kids. We were married for 4 years.

After our separation of course he never contributed or asked after our kids. So, I filed for divorce thinking he won't show up in court, but guess what?! My lawyer tells me, he received a letter from his lawyer asking the court relief to file his defence yet they didn't attach their own response.

I wonder what he's playing at cos he doesn't care about my kids, hasn't seen them in 3 years, my last baby doesn't know him and my second can't remember him. I'm wondering if he wants to fight for the custody of kids he doesn't want or if he thinks he can get money from me or frustrate me. I don't know, just wondering.

My case comes up for mention at the courts on monday. I'm eating myself up with worry cos I figured it would be a simple case without any kind of contest. 

I keep wondering and worrying....



Update:

The judge couldn't seat due to other matters so the hearing has been postponed till March 11, but my Lawyer said his colleagues spied on my Ex's lawyers brief and found that my Ex is alleging that I committed adultery!

I am shocked that he would come up with that! This is someone who doesn't support his kids, never supported whilst we were married but he is ready to pay Lawyers to smear my name in court!


I am not surprised he would stoop this low though.  He wants to play dirty but I have a surprise for him as well. I never looked at another man while we were married but then what do I expect from a cheat and a liar.

I'm getting set for a pre-trial next week, I'll keep you guys posted on events. Thank you for your support, prayers and encouragement. I need all the positive energy.

Thank you all!.



Update: 

The hearing is for the 10th of April. He got a young female lawyer to represent him and only filed his response this past Wednesday. I was travelling out to Europe at the time so I haven't read it but my lawyer said he alleged I was cheating on him ( can you beat that?)! I was faithful to the bastard and he knew so and even rubbed it in my face at one time!

Well, he also said he has been responsible for taking care of my kids and that he has twins from another woman. He did not state whether he was married to her or not. However, I can't wait to return home to read his submission myself and to have a talk with my lawyer. I want an annulment and I am getting it. He's just being plain stupid like he always is.

I have stopped wondering about what he is up to, he can allege all he wants, i just can't wait to get his sorry ass out of my life for good.

Thank you all for your comments and support. It has been helpful.

by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 4:08 PM
Replies (11-20):
Kelsey89
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:06 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow that's crazy. The court will see through him! Don't worry.

labrax
by Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:48 AM

Thank you all. I hope so because I know I have so much in my favour. I want an annulment and not a divorce. I pray I get that.

*smile*

labrax
by Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:58 AM


Lol, you got it wrong. She is his wife but connived with him to deceive me and take my money by posing as his sister.

My kids are also with me and not with him. He never loved or wanted them, after all they were just a byproduct of his illusive effort to lull me into thinking we were a family.

Quoting BeachMommy07:

Wait, do what? He had his ex portrayed as his sister? And you still stayed with him? The 3 children you have are all with him? I'm so sorry you are going through all this. It sounds surreal 

chirpymama87
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 5:32 PM
What state are you in? because BIGAMY is ILLEGAL.


Quoting labrax:


Lol, you got it wrong. She is his wife but connived with him to deceive me and take my money by posing as his sister.

My kids are also with me and not with him. He never loved or wanted them, after all they were just a byproduct of his illusive effort to lull me into thinking we were a family.


Quoting BeachMommy07:

Wait, do what? He had his ex portrayed as his sister? And you still stayed with him? The 3 children you have are all with him? I'm so sorry you are going through all this. It sounds surreal 

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mylilgooberpea
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 7:45 PM
Quoting labrax:



My ex did the same thing. After I moved out of the military housing due to him having a mistress, she moved in or helped him move.... And all the while so not to get in trouble with his command for cheeting on his wife called the mistress his sister. I only know this because I was fruends with one of the couples who helped them move. Hugs it will get better.

juggling Just a single mom living my life for my wonderful son! toddler boy

labrax
by Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 3:05 PM



Quoting mylilgooberpea:

Quoting labrax:



My ex did the same thing. After I moved out of the military housing due to him having a mistress, she moved in or helped him move.... And all the while so not to get in trouble with his command for cheeting on his wife called the mistress his sister. I only know this because I was fruends with one of the couples who helped them move. Hugs it will get better.


Hugs

labrax
by Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 3:07 PM



Quoting chirpymama87:

What state are you in? because BIGAMY is ILLEGAL.


Quoting labrax:


Lol, you got it wrong. She is his wife but connived with him to deceive me and take my money by posing as his sister.

My kids are also with me and not with him. He never loved or wanted them, after all they were just a byproduct of his illusive effort to lull me into thinking we were a family.


Quoting BeachMommy07:

Wait, do what? He had his ex portrayed as his sister? And you still stayed with him? The 3 children you have are all with him? I'm so sorry you are going through all this. It sounds surreal 


It is even here in Nigeria if you had a statutory marriage i.e marriage under the marriage act.

chirpymama87
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 9:36 PM
Oohh I assumed you were in the U.S. lol
My apologies!
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kmarsh3
by Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 6:45 AM
Praying for you.
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steviechick
by Gold Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM

I would think what your ex did in the past will play heavily on him even having visitation rights.  Not sure about Nigerian laws but in this case, he committed fraud and that should be a crime.  What do the Nigerian laws say?  My heart goes out to you!

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