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Threatening to move away....

Posted by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 5:40 PM
  • 10 Replies

My lawyer and I came up with a proposal for my ex as a way for him to buy me out of the house and still protect me and avoid going to court on next week.  My ex didn't like it.  When I told him it was that or sell the house he then told me that if it came to that, he would move to North Carolina (where his new girlfriend is from).  We are in Indiana...so he would be missing the opportunity to be readily involved in our daughter's life.  My biggest concern about him moving so far away is if he were to ask for extended visitation over summer breaks and such - I am not okay with that at all.  The longest my daughter has ever spent away from me is 2 nights.  She is 4 now, but will be 5 July 1st....and it makes me nervous.  He could be full of it and just talking trying to manipulate me (likely), but since the new girlfriend is from North Carolina and knows people there and all that, its more likely than if he just said he would move away in a more generic fashion.

So, we are going to court Thursday.  My lawyer is going to ask for rent since the date of filing  through March be paid within 7 days...and that he keep the house and cooperate so that we can sell or he forfeits possession of the house....

It will be interesting to see if he just up and leaves for North Carolina.  When he told me that, I didn't respond.  He would not only be leaving our daughter but his older two children with his ex-wife are here as well as all of his family.

by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 5:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
themomthenurse
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 5:45 PM

What county are you in?


sunshine389142
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 5:52 PM

 

Hancock - I know parenting time guidelines and I know that I would have to come up with good reasons if he asked for extended visitation

Quoting themomthenurse:

What county are you in?

 


 

brieri
by Platinum Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 6:06 PM

 Interesting.  Good luck.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 22, 2013 at 11:29 PM
Yikes I don't blame you sounds like he was looking for you to cave in and give him what he wanted with the threat of moving
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PaperClip811
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:18 PM

Yeah long distance visitation is awful. DS (5) leaves on March 8th for 3 weeks. (2 "with" his Dad and 1 with other family). Im already miserable just thinking about it.

MrsBoats08
by Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:24 PM
My ex has been threatening to move back to AZ, and I'm in VA. I also hate that fact that if he does move, it's in our custody agreement that he has dd and ds for one week in summer :-/. Good luck momma!!
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Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:25 PM
Good luck. Keep us posted.
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dawncs
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:25 PM

Every time he threatens you with moving to North Carolina just tell him you would make sure in the custody agreement that he is stuck with paying all of the transportation costs involved with your daughter. If he refuses to see your daughter after moving, tell him that the state would take a higher percentage of his income in child support. Also include in the parenting agreement that he has to be up to date by December 31 of the claiming year to claim her on taxes every other year. Tell him it is not always easy to adjust child support if he choses to move to a state or area where the income is lower than where you are currently living in. Warning him is fair game. He might not believe you until he faces the judge though.

sunshine389142
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 5:26 PM

Our case is a paternity case that was set up stating Indiana parenting time guidelines.  I am pretty sure that we would have to split transportation.  Also, at this time he only exercises 52 or less overnights a year, if he moved and was granted the extended parenting time as detailed in the guidelines he would actually get about 63 overnights (which is ridiculous).  His support would only go up if he didnt see her as much.  Once she starts school and I get an idea of the cost of daycare for the year, I believe childsupport would actually go down.  I don't really care about the support part of everything.  I don't get the amount I am suppose to anyway.  Also, it does not state anywhere in our court documents about claiming her on taxes.  Anymore, they require proof that you have the child at least 1/2 the year (at least my tax person requested a copy of our court order since she wasnt in school yet).  I am not worried about him trying to claim her.  He has two older children...per their decree he is suppose to always claim his oldest, and his exwife claim the youngest.  I think he knows better than to try and claim our daughter.

The only part that matters to me is that I know it is not in her best interest to spend 7 weeks in the summer away from me.  The most time she has spent away from me is 2 nights at one time!  It would suck, but I could probably handle a week as long as I got to talk to her on the phone every night...the scarey part is that it would be so far away.  He sometimes drinks too much.  We actually just signed an agreement that he is not to drink during his parenting time, but that is much harder to monitor when he is states away and I am not seeing her regularly.   I know that she needs to see her father, but the only reason he is even thinking of moving is becasue he is mad that I am making him either pay me to stay in the house or move out....he has been living there rent free for over 1.5 years now.

I am crossing my fingers he is all talk....and then if that falls through I am crossing my fingers he isn't crazy enough to think that I won't fight him in court over the extended breaks.  It is not like he is moving to better himself or anything....he is moving so he wont have to deal with me and his ex wife.

At this point I know that I have to handle things one step at a time, so I will have to cross that bridge when I get there...but it really sucks thinking about. 


Quoting dawncs:

Every time he threatens you with moving to North Carolina just tell him you would make sure in the custody agreement that he is stuck with paying all of the transportation costs involved with your daughter. If he refuses to see your daughter after moving, tell him that the state would take a higher percentage of his income in child support. Also include in the parenting agreement that he has to be up to date by December 31 of the claiming year to claim her on taxes every other year. Tell him it is not always easy to adjust child support if he choses to move to a state or area where the income is lower than where you are currently living in. Warning him is fair game. He might not believe you until he faces the judge though.


 

Robsessed98
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 3:48 PM
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If he goes, he will be the to lose out the most. You need to prepare yourself for the possibility of long distance visitation just in case though. Hope it all turns out however is best for your dd.
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