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My little girl is so heartbroken

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:18 PM
  • 15 Replies

Me and my Ex fiance broke up in Nov but were still "friendly" up until a month ago. My youngest is 4 and is really depressed and stressed out about our break up. She talks to her dads pic all the time begging him to come back and she wakes up, goes to sleep, and goes to school crying and yelling for her dad. My heart aches for her cause IDK what it feels like to not have my dad in the household with me. We have talked to her and I comfort her and let her talk to his pic to get her feelings out but other than that I don't know what to do. How did you handle the breakup with your very young child. What helped and what didn't?

by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:21 PM
Aww poor thing *hugs*
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britmichele
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:23 PM
I haven't experienced that, but bump for you
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jmoore10
by Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 1:59 PM
I'm going though that now. When my daughter cry out for me dad I just grab her and hold her and tell her it will be okay mommy is here and mommy loves you and when she starts to calm down a little I start to tickle her and she forgets all about it.

By the way how did you tell her about the break up. I haven't figured out how to tell my daughter yet. She still thinks mommy and daddy are married and we will be moving to Arizona with him. Which is not happening anymore. I don't know how to tell her daddy will not be living with us anymore. He will be out here for the next couple of weeks for court so I figured I would tell her after that so she is not confused
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:59 PM
Hugs poor baby just keep reassuring her daddy loves her maybe try and do a Skype call every day?
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BambiEyes26
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:59 PM

Awe, I'm so sorry to hear that. I have a 2 yr old daughter and I make sure my ex is involved as much as we can have it happen. She sleeps over by him once a week and spends 2 days a week with him for an entire day. She's a daddy's girl, but realizes that there is daddy's house and mommy's house. I'm really putting coparenting in focus. My twin boys are only 1, so it hasn't effected them.

colins_mom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 4:01 PM
No clue. Ds was a baby when his dad and I split up
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brieri
by Platinum Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 4:04 PM

Hi and welcome to the group.

Show her and help her to making a phone call to him.   Do not let your emotions get in the way.

mylilgooberpea
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 4:08 PM
Quoting colins_mom:

No clue. Ds was a baby when his dad and I split up



Same here, ds was 9 mo old when his dad left fir wirk was gone a year then left with his misstress. So my ds knows he has a dad is just now starting to know who he is (not excited to see him yet only cones around due to leave grants or maybe by choice).
OP skype is a good way gl she will eventually work things out. It takes time. How much is kinda up to her. Just love her and be there and listen. Dont say anything bad anout her dad while around... Hugs. This is never easy.

juggling Just a single mom living my life for my wonderful son! toddler boy

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:28 PM

 How often does she get to see her father?

idunno1234
by Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 8:23 AM
1 mom liked this

It sucks but frankly, life is full of sucky things and part of what dictates our life experiences is how we deal with the good and the bad.  Right now, you are her role model and how you handle this will help her cope.  She will realize that she will be okay, even if she wishes things were different.

Kids that age, even older kids, are inherently self centered and part of that self centeredness causes them to think that they have to be the reason why their parents break up.  She is feeling abandoned by her dad.  As long as you both keep reassuring her that your break up does not mean he is breaking up with her and hopefully his actions will reflect that, she will learn to accept this new reality.  Its all so new to her but she will adjust.  Think about it- its new to you guys and you are also having to go through an adjustment period.  She's only four and has a limited understanding of the adult issues that are swirling around her.

Humans, especially kids, are amazingly resilient, especially when fed a steady diet of unconditional love.  If she sees her mom is okay (and better yet, her mom AND dad), she'll be okay.

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