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how do u unspoil, your baby

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How do you un spoil your baby? I didn't believe it when everyone warned me but I think I held my baby too much when he was smaller now he's 9 months and still crys when he wants attention ....... he doesn't like playing on his own, he throws a fit and cries after 15 minutes....I could only give him so much affection when I'm busy with homework or cooking or cleaning......... I really want him to be more independent so it can be easier on both of us..... did any of you ladies go thru this if so how did u break it
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by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 9:12 PM
Replies (11-18):
idunno1234
by Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 7:20 AM
2 moms liked this

"I do treasure my baby, I give him all the love and time I can, I'm just having a hard time with balancing getting done what I have to get done while meeting his needs........ I posted this for advice on how to help him become more independent...... I get what your saying but spare me the first of all, Idon't need anyones attitude"

I apologize, the last thing I wanted to do was come off as "attitudinal".  I have four kids, ages 11-21, so I've been where you are and know how hard it is.  It is always a balancing act and although it becomes different as they get older and gain more independence, it doesn't necessarily get easier. 

Play pens and those jumper bouncy things are great ideas but admittedly some babies are entertained by them more than others.  Every baby is different and you'll eventually figure out what things grab your baby's attention.  Right now, you are his number one favorite entertainer but he is also at the age of getting ambulatory and once he starts walking the problem will be more that he is running away from you, not running towards you.  It won't make your life easier but he'll definitely find other stuff to entertain him.

I do want to reiterate, completely without attitude, that you can not spoil a baby under a year. 

Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 9:17 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't think you are spoiling him; a baby that young can't be spoiled, in my opinion. But, I do understand what you mean in your post. I'm actually in a very similar situation with my 9 month old son. He still doesn't sleep on his own, and he doesn't like playing for too long without me. When I have things to do though, such as cooking or cleaning, I talk to him and include him in the activity. So, if I'm washing dishes I let him sit at my feet near the sink and talk to him. He loves it! They are like little sponges at this age. As far as homework or reading, I have to do that when he is asleep or visiting his grandparents. Remember he is only 9 months old and doesn't know how to entertain himself...he is crying because he loves you and needs your guidance! It will get easier. Is he crawling yet? Once they are more mobile they get better at entertaining themselves I think.
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 10:13 AM
1 mom liked this
Just let him cry for a little bit longer each time and talk to him and reassure him you are there but don't pick him up.
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witchybabymomma
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 2:09 PM

 I don't think he is spoiled I think some children just need more attention then others

TinaCrystal
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:41 AM
thanks I appreciate you replying back , I guess I reached out to everyone because I was getting overwhelmed with balancing but you're right there is no such thing as spoiling him, I thought about what u said and he's only a baby once I do need to cherish these moments, I am teaching him little by little to play more with his toys when I have to get something done I keep him close to make him feel secure and its been helping


Quoting idunno1234:

"I do treasure my baby, I give him all the love and time I can, I'm just having a hard time with balancing getting done what I have to get done while meeting his needs........ I posted this for advice on how to help him become more independent...... I get what your saying but spare me the first of all, Idon't need anyones attitude"


I apologize, the last thing I wanted to do was come off as "attitudinal".  I have four kids, ages 11-21, so I've been where you are and know how hard it is.  It is always a balancing act and although it becomes different as they get older and gain more independence, it doesn't necessarily get easier. 


Play pens and those jumper bouncy things are great ideas but admittedly some babies are entertained by them more than others.  Every baby is different and you'll eventually figure out what things grab your baby's attention.  Right now, you are his number one favorite entertainer but he is also at the age of getting ambulatory and once he starts walking the problem will be more that he is running away from you, not running towards you.  It won't make your life easier but he'll definitely find other stuff to entertain him.


I do want to reiterate, completely without attitude, that you can not spoil a baby under a year. 


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LADYxGHOST
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:11 AM

 

agree, under 1 year their minds are not selfish, they are needs orientated only.

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

I agree!  :)

Quoting idunno1234:

First of all, there's no such thing as spoiling a baby under a year.

If your baby is able to occupy himself for 15 minutes at 9 months, that's totally age appropriate.

Treasure these days, as hard, constant and annoying being on call for a demanding baby is. All too soon, the ability to spoil becomes a potential reality and babyhood is over with all it's perks of being able to carry, hug and mush your little one to your heart's content.

I miss those days. Sometimes.



 

LADYxGHOST
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:21 AM

you need to figure out how to adjust your schedule to take care of your child. You son isn't spoiled, he is an infant. My children where like that, as they grew older they where able to entertain themselves for longer. For dd I got a carrier so she road on my back most the day. for ds, dd played with him so it was easier.  Find ways to include him in you activities or insert pleanty of breaks to attend to his needs.  if it gets too much, see if anyone will watch him. Where I used to live when dd was an infant had a community center where moms could drop off thier kids fro 2 hours a day for free. The catch? You had to volunteer to watch kids. It worked out great. 1 day a week i would go with my kids and watch other kids with a few other moms and during the week I got 2 hours kids free a day. 

your son is too young to be spoiled, sorry you are just dealing with an infant being an infant. breaking him of that, breaks him and that isn't right.

LADYxGHOST
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:27 AM

 

Best of luck. I miss that age sometimes. I do not remember the crying or the diaper duty. At 13 and 11, all i really remeber is their smiles and laughter and the times we shared. I do not recal how many night the dishes didn't get done or the laundry or how stresed out I was trying to juggle everything.  Enjoy the time, everyone feels overwhelmed dealing with kids and I hope you are able to get some time to take care of yourself and your homework.  I wish I oculd tel you it gets easier, but really it just changes. once you figure this out, he will grow up a bit and present a whole new set of challenges. 

Quoting TinaCrystal:

thanks I appreciate you replying back , I guess I reached out to everyone because I was getting overwhelmed with balancing but you're right there is no such thing as spoiling him, I thought about what u said and he's only a baby once I do need to cherish these moments, I am teaching him little by little to play more with his toys when I have to get something done I keep him close to make him feel secure and its been helping


Quoting idunno1234:

"I do treasure my baby, I give him all the love and time I can, I'm just having a hard time with balancing getting done what I have to get done while meeting his needs........ I posted this for advice on how to help him become more independent...... I get what your saying but spare me the first of all, Idon't need anyones attitude"


I apologize, the last thing I wanted to do was come off as "attitudinal".  I have four kids, ages 11-21, so I've been where you are and know how hard it is.  It is always a balancing act and although it becomes different as they get older and gain more independence, it doesn't necessarily get easier. 


Play pens and those jumper bouncy things are great ideas but admittedly some babies are entertained by them more than others.  Every baby is different and you'll eventually figure out what things grab your baby's attention.  Right now, you are his number one favorite entertainer but he is also at the age of getting ambulatory and once he starts walking the problem will be more that he is running away from you, not running towards you.  It won't make your life easier but he'll definitely find other stuff to entertain him.


I do want to reiterate, completely without attitude, that you can not spoil a baby under a year. 



 

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