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He wants joint custody

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:27 PM
  • 35 Replies
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My boyfriend left me when I was 5 weeks pregnant after begging me to get an abortion. She is 6 weeks old now and he saw her for the first time last weekend. He lives out of state. Today my attorney called and said he lawyerd up and not only wants joint physical custody but he wants a paternity test. Do you think there is any way a judge is going to give joint custody to someone in another state who says they can't afford support and has spent 10 hours with that he doesn't even claim? I'm annoyed and stressed and waiting by the phone to hear back from my lawyer.
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by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:27 PM
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Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:10 PM
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joint custody does not mean joint parenting time. It just means he is going to be in on some legal decisions for the child. He has every right to ask for a DNA test more guys should. The baby is only 6 weeks old so the fact he is out of state and has not spent that much time with the baby is really not a huge deal right now. Who moved? And with him being out of state it is going to be almost impossible to get much parenting time of a baby but I am thinking his state has jurisdiction if you are the one that moved.

brieri
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:12 PM

 It doesn't matter how long he's been away.  The judge can do  anything.  Don't let your emotions in the way.

BambiEyes26
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:16 PM

Ditto. Illinois does everything and anything to keep fathers around and they make it difficult for a parent to attempt to get sole custody. They believe a child needs a father and mother, even if the father is a douche.


Quoting Oliviasmom72:

joint custody does not mean joint parenting time. It just means he is going to be in on some legal decisions for the child. He has every right to ask for a DNA test more guys should. The baby is only 6 weeks old so the fact he is out of state and has not spent that much time with the baby is really not a huge deal right now. Who moved? And with him being out of state it is going to be almost impossible to get much parenting time of a baby but I am thinking his state has jurisdiction if you are the one that moved.



LifeCafe42
by Nora on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:22 PM
This

Quoting brieri:

 It doesn't matter how long he's been away.  The judge can do  anything.  Don't let your emotions in the way.

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forbird
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 2:30 PM
I was originally from Michigan and met him while living in Pennsylvania. I moved back to Michigan for support when he told me to get an abortion and that he would have nothing to do with us.
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Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Well he is allowed to want an abortion that is actually natural among any unmarried men. Of course they dont know what women go through to get one and the emotional and psysical toll it takes. during a pregnancy a man has zero rights. You moved quite a distance so if hs files in his state and they have jurisdiction right now it sounds like, they might be problematic for you. The courts also may require you to take some of the hit on transportation costs. How long have you been in PA for? What state has jurisdiction do you know? If you have been in MI for more than 6 months it sounds like your state might have jurisdiction. If you moved that far away and he has seen the baby once and the baby is only 6 weeks old that is not that bad. Remember you created the distance here. You are going to be required to take on some of the costs here. an attorney is expensive I hope you guys can reach an agreement before you bot are broke and northing resolved. good luck.

Robsessed98
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 4:50 PM
He absolutely can and should be given a chance to be a dad. Joint custody isn't the same thing as physical custody. It just means you have to make major.decisions jointly. He will be allowed the DNA test and visitation, as well as being ordered to pay child support. The visitation will be up to the judge unless you can come to your own agreement.
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faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 4:56 PM

 joint physical custody is not really feasible interstate. joint legal maybe. if he continues to be scarce dnt worry much about it. if he tries to step up now though, talk to him, communicate, tell him you will not allow disrespect to yourself but you are willing to communicate civilly if he really hs the baby's best interest in mind. and follow with that.

wanting a paternity test may sting to hear but if you were not together when the kid was born or were in a casual relationship then its not surprising really and id encourage my sons to ask for one if they got a chick they were only with briefly pregnant (i dont know if that is your situation)

Chelsey191
by Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 4:57 PM
I would nail his balls to the wall for child support. Not a lot you can do as far as custody, maybe look into abandonment.
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faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 4:59 PM

 i dont think thats accurate. teh state the baby is born in would be jurisdiction. mom can do what she wants before it is born.

if she had the baby THEN moved, the state she left might have jurisdiction and shed swallow some transport costs.

Quoting Oliviasmom72:

Well he is allowed to want an abortion that is actually natural among any unmarried men. Of course they dont know what women go through to get one and the emotional and psysical toll it takes. during a pregnancy a man has zero rights. You moved quite a distance so if hs files in his state and they have jurisdiction right now it sounds like, they might be problematic for you. The courts also may require you to take some of the hit on transportation costs. How long have you been in PA for? What state has jurisdiction do you know? If you have been in MI for more than 6 months it sounds like your state might have jurisdiction. If you moved that far away and he has seen the baby once and the baby is only 6 weeks old that is not that bad. Remember you created the distance here. You are going to be required to take on some of the costs here. an attorney is expensive I hope you guys can reach an agreement before you bot are broke and northing resolved. good luck.

 

 
        
         

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