Well, at christmas, he came to colorado and I let him stay with me (keep your friends close, your enemies closer, kwim?). It was miserable for me, and reminded me what a crap husband/father he was.
Now, he is wanting to come to colorado this summer, DRIVE the kids down to texas (3 day roadtrip with the little ones) and then later DRIVE back and camp along the away. (Omg, you cannot imagine the terrible visions in my head about this!!). My main concerns are:
1.) my middle daughter has a VERY difficult time with transitions and still has meltdowns that need to be handled with a cool head.
2.) my ex has poor coping skills, and as soon as he gets frustrated, he starts yelling and handing out spankings.
3.). What if something happens on the road, or while camping, and he cant emotionally deal with it and I am not there to help my kids?!
When we lived in Texas and shared custody, he would rarely keep the kids for the full weekend. I remember a time when I had to come pick them up early and they were waiting on the porch for me. Almost EVERY weekend when I called (no matter what time), my middle daughter would be sobbing and begging to come home. His father (who my ex lives with), has a very short temper and spent time last spring doing psych in-patient.
Basically, my gut as a mother thinks this is going to end very badly, with the kids all emotionally out of whack and with me having to fly across the country to pick them up because he cant cope with being a parent.
I dont know what to do... Some things I have considered are:
- splitting the cost of the kids plane tickets and traveling with them (staying in texas with a friend during his visitation)
- asking him to come back up here and stay with me again (uuuuggghhh do NOT want this one)
- asking him to bring his mom on the roadtrip so that he has an extra adult and someone to help.
Thoughts?? I wish I could just cancel this whole thing, or I wish he would decide to just walk away :(