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Breaking point....confused?

Posted by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 9:48 PM
  • 9 Replies

Hello group.   This is my first support group ever, but I'm at a breaking point.  I have a 2 year old boy and a 4 year old boy. My 4 year old is autistic.  I am a single mom trying my best to raise 2 boys by myself.  For the past week my 4 year old has been having a lot of behavioral tantrums. I just don't know what to do. I have taken away toys , limited television, I've ignored the bad behavior and rewarded good behavior but nothing is working. The main issue I have is getting him on the bus in the morning..because he goes to a special needs school out of his area the bus picks him up at 7 am. So I have to wake him up at 6:15am. As an adult I don't even like getting up that early so I can imagine how hard it is for him to get up.   He refuses to get on the bus to the point where he goes limp in the middle of the street , where I have to pick up him a literally put on the bus in his seat.  It breaks my hurt to walk off that bus while he is crying but I don't know what to do.   I battle everyday in my head is he trying to tell me something as to why he doesn't want to get on the bus? How do they treat my son when I get off that bus and the matron ha to deal with a crying 4 year old? 

Then when I speak to their father ( lives in Boston) he has no idea what I go through on a daily basis....there is only so much you can explain to someone you doesn't live the with an autistic child for them to understand what you are going through.  He tells me oh punish him put him in his room etc. but of for my son that doesn't work because he likes to be alone. His social skills are one of his main issues. It Ryan to explain that you can't do the same punishments that you would do with a normal pre-schooler.  

Im just feeling defeated and frustrated.  I decided to join a support group to see if anybody has some advice... I am normally a very private person but I am looking for any help at all.    HELP!!!!

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 9:48 PM
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Replies (1-9):
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 10:06 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

What's to be confused?

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 10:58 PM

Hi and welcome to the group! Being a single mom can sure be overwhelming but adding the stress of a special needs child is even harder. I wish I had advice for you about your lo, but I don't. There is a group on here called "raising kids with special needs" and there are a lot of parents with autistic children that may be able to help!

I really am sorry you are going through this alone. Keep your head up mama, stay strong!

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 11:02 PM

Has there been a change in the routine at his school? Has his speech therapist or ABA therapist changed? Has his teacher or aide been out and a substitute taken their place for a day or two? A change in routne can cause problems for certain disabled children. I recommend talking to his teacher about what is happening and see if you two can come up with some ideas on how to help him.

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 11:08 PM
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The only advice that I could think of is look for autism support groups for families and perhaps they can help. I'm sorry for what you're going through on top of being a single mom. I'm sorry that I cannot offer further advice. I would also explore the Autism Speaks organization as well and see if there are any resources. Good luck hun.

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 11:22 PM
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I feel your pain. I can give you advice about a 4 year old without autism but have no experience with an autistic child. I can tell you that when my daughter was about that age she would cry, carry on, cling to my leg when I dropped her off at preschool. I felt so bad until the director took me in her office, which had a glass window  into the classroom. Each day, by the time I left the classroom and got to that window, she had completely stopped the tantrum as if I was never there. She was having a grand old time! Talk to the bus driver or the teacher, see what their point of view is about what happens once you're out of sight. Again, I'm not sure about autistic children but ask and find out how things are. Punishing an autistic child probably won't work, it'll probably take some creative behavior modification on your part...find out what he responds to and go from there. 

by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:33 PM
Welcome to the group. I'd suggest a specialist who does behavioral therapy for autism. ((hugs))
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by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 5:21 PM

Aww, sorry to hear you're facing this, especially as a single mom.  ((HUGS to you!))  I don't have a child facing these issues, but one of mine can't be disciplined by sending her to her room either.  We once banned her FROM her room as a punishment, and it was quite effective ~ LOL!  You may want to check out the for help.  They have local chapters throughout the US where you might be able to find other parents who can identify with your challenges and encourage/guide you.  Hang in there, mom.  Hope you find some help and answers... and some rest for yourself as well.  bunch of roses

by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 5:47 PM
I have a 17 year old special needs child that doesn't have the diagnosis of Autism, but there has been a lot of people that say he has it. He is very persistent on what he wants or needs. I have had days where I just want to hide away. So I totally feel your pain. And also I have a 13 year old daughter that has a few delays, but not like my son.

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by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 6:44 PM

Thank you everyone for your great ideas and support.

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