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Having the father apart of the baby's life, no matter how he treats you

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So I will give you a quick background on my situation but if you just want to give me your opinion here is the question I am struggling with.

"Should I allow the father to be part of the baby's life, even though he is mentally unstable, verbally abussive, and refuses to get any type of help"

So here is the background of this question. I am 27 and was dating an older man (almost 40). We had been friends (actually I was his younger sister best friend) and I have been close with his family for over 10 years. We dated about 7 years ago but broke up over his emotional issues and depression but remained friends. We started dating again last year and things were going great. He has always been a bit "different" but I thought he was just trying to be eccentric (the Peter Pan complex). He had a complete mental breakdown (not his first) and we broke up, it was very ugly. After a while things calmed down and he acted like nothing happen. I was offered a great job out of state and then found out that I was 3 months pregnant. So I told him and explained I needed to just get my head wrapped around the situation and what I was going to do. He kept pushing me to see him and talk to him (texting me and calling me 65 times a day for 2 weeks). When I told him yes he was going to be part of the baby's life but I had to figure out what I was going to do with mine he became very abusive (verbally not physically). He started threatening me and harrassing me. I have watched him with his other "baby mama". He talked about how he was planning on killing her and taking his daughter away, having nothing to do with his daughter for weeks (sometimes months) then showing up and demanding to see her. He and his family constantly talk about how the white people keep the black folks down and take their childen (I am white he is black). I am not sure if he is dangerouse because he can be the sweetest kindest man in the world. But he is so unstable I am not sure what to do. I decided to stay in the same state (my family is some what helping me out) but now I am not sure what to do. His family refuses to admit he has a mental problem, even though he has been commited against his will. They believe I am the white whore who is just trying to take his baby away. What is your opinion on the best thing to do for the baby?

by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 2:25 AM
Replies (11-11):
paganmommy4
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 10:50 PM

No. Its damaging to the daughter to have a wreck of a father be in her life. 

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