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Advice

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 11:34 AM
  • 4 Replies

I live in Dane County, Wisconsin and I have perminent placement of my 17 month old daughter and have most of the custody rights as well. Her father has custody of her 2-3 days a week (scheduled) for just a couple hours each day. Ever since he has brought this new women and her family into his life he has been fairly distant with our daughter. He has missed 13 times picking her up in the past 3 months and with him only having her a few days a week that seems like a LOT of missed time. He only shows up when he wants to and not when he SHOULD. Lately he seems to be playing a game where he does not tell me he is not picking her up until much later after the time he is suppose to be picking her up. Last week he broke my heart when I had her all set to go for him to pick up and he did not call or text. I took her coat off assuming he was not picking her up half hour after the time and she sat at the door and cried. I really feel like whats best is to take him back to court but im affraid either they will not do anything about it or they will give him more time which I feel would not be the best for her under the circumstances of his care. I just feel like he his choosing his fiance and her kids (Plus a child on the way of his) over our daughter. I have discussed this issue with both him AND his worried mom but things are just not changing as his mom is worried his fiance his putting a big say in this. Can you give me some advice, I just dont know what to do anymore but I dont want to see my daughter go through this all throughout her life. :(

by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 11:34 AM
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Replies (1-4):
dstarr347
by Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:20 PM

Hi!

  I had this problem with my ex husband also. I would keep a journal of each conversation you have with him concerning pick up dates and times and document the missed times or late pick ups. Unfortunately, I think you will eventually have to go back to court but it will look better for you if you have times and dates written down.It sounds like the new fiance may feel threatened by you because you have his 1st born. I think maybe you should set it up with his mom to drop the baby with her for the visitations and have him pick her up from there.That way the new fiance won't have an excuse to use to keep him from seeing his daughter because he won't see you there.If he is still being inconsistent after that then you know what you have to do.Keep your chin up and continue being the good and loving mom that you are.That is the truth you stand on and it will always serve you well. I will keep you and your dd up in prayer.

Best wishes,

Danielle

brieri
by Platinum Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 3:04 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

Everyttime I hear the court may give him more time, because he doesn't show up when scheduled makes me sicko.  I wish you the best whatever you decide.

dawncs
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 3:21 PM

You can never force a man to be a father. I know this is sad, but it is true. At some point that he might even totally drop out of her life altogether. However, you need to remember that he is no prize to future women at all because if he can abandon your daughter for someone else and her kids, he would do the same to his future biological children. Keeping a log is a good thing of all contact and visitation. I reommnd having someone present to record all no shows. You can actually get more child support when he is not being an active part of her life, and you might want to present it in three years when it gets adjusted. I also recommend getting his pay automatically garnished through the state, so he can't play games with it.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Mar. 2, 2013 at 5:04 PM

Welcome I'm glad you found us!

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