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Single Moms Single Moms

Single Mom Starting over.

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 3:53 PM
  • 22 Replies
1 mom liked this

I am 27 w/female and I have been with my partner over four years. He is an alcoholic i met him when his drinking was under control. Now that we have had our son in January he has increasingly began drinking and doing drugs in the home. He also is verbally and emotionally abusive towards me. I filed a dispository warrant on him so that he needs to leave the home. I feel so guilty that my son isnt going to have a live in father. HOw do i cope with the realities of becoming a single mother?

by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 3:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:05 PM
2 moms liked this

You made the best choice removing someone from your home who is not a father figure for your son.

The rest is going to be challenging but it will be worth every moment.

Just stay focused on whats best for yourself and your son. 

kitcal78
by Gigi on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:12 PM
2 moms liked this

 Ohh honey I'm sorry to hear about your ex partner.  Let me tell you this I applaud you for the decisions and choices you are making.  So many women just stay in bad sitiuations thinking it's great for the kid(s).  Don't think negative because you are a signal parent.  Do and think positive thoughts.  Surround yourself with positive people.  Take each step and situation in strides.  Don't over think things or try to make them too complicated.

There are lots of single parent support groups online.  I'm sure one of them can point you in the direction of group that meets in your community.  Being a single parent isn't a curse or dirty.  It is a stuggle.  There are plenty of women on this site with sound and helpful advice.  It's an adjustment and takes getting used too.  Even for the people who have been single parents from day one.

Make sure you release stress when ever you can.  That's all I have for the moment.

MandaMom23
by Bronze Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:15 PM
3 moms liked this

 You will get through it but the adjustment will take some time.  Try to keep a positive attitude and take one day at a time.  ALways stay focused on what is best for you and your son.  Your security and well being is what is most important.

rvb146
by Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:19 PM
5 moms liked this
You've made a great decision! A lot of mothers stay with their child's father out of pity or because of the "father" part. He's already made his decision. Don't worry about the what ifs and what could have been. Focus on what is ahead of you. It's easier said than done. Take a break every now and then to remember who you are. Not just as a mother but who you are as an individual. And don't ever be afraid to ask for help. Your child will thank you when they are older. It may get tough sometimes but it's going to be a lot easier and a lot healthier now for you and your child.
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Cenedra64
by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:42 PM
::::hugs:::: never heard of that kind of warrant but sounds good.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Mar. 2, 2013 at 4:55 PM
3 moms liked this

Welcome!  Having a bad father is worse than no father around.  You are doing the right thing for your son.  take each day as it goes you are strong it will get better!

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 5:02 PM

I agree with this.  Don't for a minute feel guilty for doing what is best for your son.

Quoting virginiamama71:

You made the best choice removing someone from your home who is not a father figure for your son.

The rest is going to be challenging but it will be worth every moment.

Just stay focused on whats best for yourself and your son. 


GenstheMom
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 12:25 PM

Thank you! for the support. It is so hard to force my sons father out. I do love him but i know if i let him stay he will onley keep using drugs and drinking. Doing the "right thing" hurts sometimes! my little angel deserves a safe calm household though. A Disspository warrant is basically an eviction notice. Since my name is the only name on the lease and since i pay all the utilities and bills as well that gives me power to evict someone. He cried to me this morning that he was going to change " blah blah blah" its so hard to fallow through not to mention i am hormonal as heck! YIKES! :)

GenstheMom
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 12:26 PM

How do you all cope with being a single mother? do you think there is still a social "stigma" attached to the job?

GenstheMom
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 2:40 PM

I would love to read some of your stories on what you all went through becoming single parents.

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