Ok here's my story, I'm a 24 year old single mother of a wonderful 5 year old little boy. I had my son when I was 19 and married to my hs sweetheart. We divorced when he was about 2, but his date has really been out of the picture most of his life. (he was deployed for 15 months when my son was two months old) and since our divorce he has pretty much been mia. No support no real visitation. He's seem him twice in almost two years, his choice, not mine. Here's my delima (sp), and I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just someone who relates or what so please feel free tocomment however you'd like. I'm feeling like I was a better mother with more patience at 19 than I am now. I think it's mostly just disappointments with life and the way the last few years have gone for me, but I am struggling with it. I was a stay at home mom with my son before I got divorced. I found out my husband was cheating and I left and moved back in with my mom. I got a decent job and worked two jobs when I had to and finally got back on my own two feet. I was proud of myself that I had done that and things were going pretty good until I wrecked my car last November. I had only liability insurance and the accident was technically my fault. Well I lost my good job because I could not get it fixed fast enough for them, and because of this I ended up having to move back in with my mom. I have since got my car fixed, and actually found a better job than I had before but I am trying so hard to save up and get back out of my moms and on my own again but it just seems to be going nowhere. Every time I get some saved up it seems like something comes up. I am lucky that my moms is gracious enough to let me and my son stay, but it also drives me crazy at the same time. She is his grandma and I know it's not fair to make her change her ways because I'm living here now, but the things you would let a five year old get away with when you see them once or twice a month are not the same things that you let them get away with when you see them everyday. I just feel frustrated, with myself mostly, for being back in this situation. She thinks I'm to harsh and we often argue about that, and maybe sometimes I am but I work 40 hours a week and I just feel like I'm getting nowhere fast. It's depressing sometimes. All my friends love in different states now that they've graduated and none have kids. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to. I just want to get back to a little bit more of a carefree or at least happy person. I love my son with all my heart, and it's not like I'm mean to him, I just feel like my patience level isn't what is was and it bothers me that I can't make all the ends meet by myself right now. Sorry for such a long post. Any advice or criticism or whatever I can handle it. Thanks.
on Mar. 4, 2013 at 6:50 PM