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Just want to cry.

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:52 PM
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I'm a 21 single mother my son is 9months, im going to tell you about the father first. We dated I was 19 he was 27, we dated for 5 months he cheated on me for 3 months. I knew about it and stuck around. The last time the girl threatened me because he told her he was single and then I had answered his phone for him and it was her... anyways so I left him. The I went to a friends and stuff happened and he found out and was pissed because i guess he thought we were still together.... so i actually said we are done. I got another boyfriend and things lasted almost 2 months we broke up and I found out I was pregnant. Which was Nov. I went and got checked I was 9 weeks pregnant... Meaning I got pregnant in Aug. when I was with my boyfriend before.... so throughout the whole pregnancy my ex convinced himself that he couldnt get anyone pregnant and that my kid couldnt be his. He tried to get me to go back to him..but I told him I didnt love him and I'm not getting back with him just becuase ofa child. I think that, that is hurtful to a child to have to live in a home where youre parents dont love eachother, I grew up like that and it sucked. so it hits may. Im due the 7th but didnt have him until the 12th, i tried to text and call him to tell him that I had our child. he texted me the next day with a new number. so we talked for a few days. then all of a sudden, his new girlfriend that tells me to stop texting him. and I so i quit texting because I dont like drama. so then they both keep texting saying that they were going to get cusody of my son. she had 2 kids, he has a 1bedroom apartment and a crap job. well now my son is 9 months almost 10 months and his fathers never seen him. hasnt even asked about him.. and just had a baby. my son and his half brother are 9 months apart.. and ive tried to get him to want to see his son.. but his now wife wont let him. and ive told him.. dont worry about youre first son, because now you have "the son you always wanted" (wifes words) and he needs you more then your other son..but it brakes my heart knowing my sons not good enough for a father.

so sorry for the long post..but I really have no one to talk to..ive lost all my friends because when i became pregnant i quit smoking pot, drinking and im not cool enough. oh well..

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:52 PM
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by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:59 PM
Stay strong. God is good. You are not alone.
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by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:40 PM
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Just be glad that you aren't with this scumbag anymore.  My ex cheated on me with a co-worker.  Homewreckers and cheaters go hand-in-hand.  Karma will come to those that do bad against others.  Your ex will not get custody of your son.  IF you remain clean (no drugs, etc.) and provide a good home for your child your ex will only get visitation rights.  Get that cs in order.  File for it in the courts or go seek assistance from Family Services in your county. 

Good for you for giving up those bad things.  If your friends truly cared for you they would be friends.  Find new ones. 

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 3:09 PM

I am so sorry to hear that you're in this situation but as time goes on it gets easier to accept. I'm in a similar situation as you, only thing is two day before I found out I was pregnant I found out that my daughters father was MARRIED with 4 children all by different women! SMH.

Like steviechick said, don't worry about custody, he won't win and if anything he'll get visitation. And most likely he won't file at all because of the filing fees... My advice would be to keep a record of EVERYTHING! If you choose to file, everything that you have documented will work in your favor to show that he has not shown an interest in being apart of his child's life. Also definitely get a child support order in place. Not to be vindictive but to help with your sons expenses. If he's not going to be there physically, mentally, emotionally the least he can do is be there financially. Do not agree to anything outside of court because that gives leeway to not stick to the agreement.

And what goes around definitely comes back around. It is now 4 1/2 years later, my daughter still has not seen her father but he's getting everything back to him that he's dished out and I don't feel bad for him at all that he is in a terrible place in life right now.

The best thing for you to do is to let go of the situation, let go of the man and create stability for you and your son. Focus on making yourself better and creating a happy life for you and him. It takes time but from someone who's been there you will feel so free and so light once you can let go.

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 3:14 PM
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 3:14 PM
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 4:24 PM

Hi and welcome to the group.

So the 27 yr old guy is the father - cheated on you and yet he wanted to be a family with you before getting another girl preggo and married.  wow.  Just go for C/S and go from there.  Good lck.

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 6:32 PM

Child support is filed, but its taking forever to go through because he pulled the whole.. "its not mine" so we got gentics done 99.99% his. (duh) and so that gave him some time to do whatever he wanted.. and I feel bad because as of right now hes working, taking care of his wife and her 2 girls and now their son. and now he is going to be paying child support.. but i just got to remind myself that he did it to himself, and trust me id never take him back, not after the hell he put me through.

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 6:40 PM
All your son needs is a strong mother like you. Dnt let the dads actions affect you his loss in the long run. But you should defiantly get cs..
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by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:16 PM

I can't imagine the struggle you're facing as a young mother.  Glad to hear you've pursued the CS and hope you're not too discouraged by the wait.  Your old friends sound like they did you a favor when they left, though I know it's got to be really tough right now to feel so alone.  You really need some good support around you.  That said, it may be helpful to check out an org called MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers), at  You can meet other young mothers and hopefully find some really good friends.  You'll find groups all over the States, and hopefully there will be one meeting near you.  Hugs and blessings to you :)

by Ruby Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 3:16 PM

 its not your son that isnt good enough, its his idiot father that isnt good enough. ignore that nonsense.

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