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*Girl Talk* Help Me Ladies!

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 3:41 PM
  • 11 Replies

So, I work fulltime outside of the home, and I met a guy recently, at work. We would speak from time to time, and this past Friday, he asked me to lunch that day. It was random. It was nice and we enjoyed ourselves. I would like a cool guy friend, but I am in no way ready or interested in being in a committed relationship.

I know, it's just one lunch date, but I already feel that pressure within myself that this is going to go faster than I am ready for. Yesterday, he saw me outside on my break and gave me his number. I'm already feeling anxiety.

In the past (and the past wasn't that long ago, maybe a year ago), I would meet a man, and within weeks were are in a full blown relationship. Sex and all. I don't want to go back down that route. i dont even want this man to think I want to be with him like that because I don't. I just want to hang out, get to know him, that's it. But i also don't want to come off to strong and be like 'HEY! before i let you in my life, i am about this this and that.'

I hope I'm making sense here...if so, have you been there? How do you handle meeting a new potential male friend while knowing you have boundaries that you don't want to be crossed?

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 3:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
brieri
by Platinum Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 4:12 PM

 If ever a tiime he asks you out and you don't want to go, then tell him no, that your busy.  Perhaps another time.  There is nothing in the world that says you cannot say no from time to time.

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Mar. 6, 2013 at 4:35 PM

 if its at work I rather go in groups to lunch so he will not think its going to progress any further and not give out my number/address.

Outside of work just let the person know upfront you just need a friend, nothing else.

If they respect you for this, than they will be a friend and just that.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 3:13 PM
1 mom liked this

Some men are just fast.  That's their way.  I would definately sit down with this guy and tell him you want things to go slow.  Being honest and forthcoming is the best way to move foward.  Feeling anxious about this guy is only going to make you feel uncomfortable around him.  And, since you work together, it's best to be upfront about your relationship.  Hopefully, he's willing to go slow and respect you as a friend. 

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:13 AM
I agree. Good luck Hun

Quoting virginiamama71:

 if its at work I rather go in groups to lunch so he will not think its going to progress any further and not give out my number/address.


Outside of work just let the person know upfront you just need a friend, nothing else.


If they respect you for this, than they will be a friend and just that.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
easinpc
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:45 AM

 I agree with this mom.  good luck!!


Quoting virginiamama71:

 if its at work I rather go in groups to lunch so he will not think its going to progress any further and not give out my number/address.

Outside of work just let the person know upfront you just need a friend, nothing else.

If they respect you for this, than they will be a friend and just that.


 

breebree04
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:31 AM

If he asked you to lunch and then gave you his number more than likely he wants to date you and have a relationship. If you were not interested in that you should have said no or just explained right then and there that you werent looking for a relationship but you would go to lunch as friends only. I would let him know asap what your intentions are so this doesnt turn into an awkward situation later especially since you guys are coworkers.

ChgIsGood2012
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:36 AM

 

 

Quoting breebree04:

If he asked you to lunch and then gave you his number more than likely he wants to date you and have a relationship. If you were not interested in that you should have said no or just explained right then and there that you werent looking for a relationship but you would go to lunch as friends only. I would let him know asap what your intentions are so this doesnt turn into an awkward situation later especially since you guys are coworkers.

I understand what you are saying and that thought ran through my mind, too. I'm not saying a relationship could not brew one day, I'm just not looking for it right now. I'm not good at dating and taking it slow, so that's why i reached out for opinions. Yet, at the same time, i don't want to close my life out for a good relationship with someone. Not saying he'll be that person because off the bat, no. He's nice, that's all.

 But, I will talk to him and let him know the deal because the awkwardness I can see happening...ugh, LOL.

 

ChgIsGood2012
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:38 AM

 

Thanks, and while going in groups would be ideal, the type of job we work, it's not very possible. We work in a call center, so all of our scheudles are different on any given day. Honestly, I see this man maybe 2 or 3 times a week. We work on opposite sides of the building, and that is helpful. So the whole group lunch won't work (plus I don't hang out with anyone personally here).

But I took his number, he doesn't have mine, and we'll leave it there, for now.

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

I agree. Good luck Hun

Quoting virginiamama71:

 if its at work I rather go in groups to lunch so he will not think its going to progress any further and not give out my number/address.


Outside of work just let the person know upfront you just need a friend, nothing else.


If they respect you for this, than they will be a friend and just that.


 

NaviHope
by Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:54 AM
1 mom liked this

On the next lunch date, I would let him know you are only looking for friendships right now.  Since he gave you his number, I think it's safe to say he wants to date you.  Who knows, he may want to take it slow as well.  You don't have to feel akward or pressured to do anything you don't want to.  Just get you feet wet and learn how to relax and slow down.  This guy may be the one who helps you get back out there but at your own pace.  Good luck.

Eva

ChgIsGood2012
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:37 PM

 


Quoting NaviHope:

On the next lunch date, I would let him know you are only looking for friendships right now.  Since he gave you his number, I think it's safe to say he wants to date you.  Who knows, he may want to take it slow as well.  You don't have to feel akward or pressured to do anything you don't want to.  Just get you feet wet and learn how to relax and slow down.  This guy may be the one who helps you get back out there but at your own pace.  Good luck.

Eva

Thanks. Your reply helped me a lot...I will do just that :-)

 

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