Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Starting a new relationship

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 8:12 PM
  • 19 Replies
I met my boyfriend in August we talked, went out and got to know each other but just officially started our relationship in January. I have two children from my ex that I was with for 5 years and was single before meeting my boyfriend for over a year. My bf doesn't have any kids from a previous relationship. I care a lot about my bf. I think he is wonderful and couldn't ask for someone better. He is very sweet to me and makes be feel special to him. He is also doing very well for himself, has a great job and supports himself. This Saturday my bf and I have plans for him to meet my kids. I'm excited but also really nervous. I lately have felt like he is too good for me. I worry that me having kids is too much for him to have to take on in a relationship. I also worry about things like will he be able to handle hearing my kids argue or have a tantrum (basically all the hard stuff that comes with raising kids). I feel like I don't deserve to be with such a good guy and he deserves to find someone special that he can start a family with, not me that already comes with kids attached. I haven't talked to him about my feelings yet because I don't want him to think I'm getting serious too fast.

Sorry this is so long. What I was wondering is if anyone else felt like this when starting a new relationship for the first time after having kids. If so how did you know the guy would be able to handle going from the single life style to a family life style?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 8:12 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:13 PM

If he feels he is ready to meet your kids he must feel something for you too.  Good luck hun!

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:23 AM
If its meant to be that's great you are a packaged deal so if he can't handle the kids or what comes with it he isn't the right person
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mytrueloveS
by Lori on Mar. 8, 2013 at 4:49 AM
I feel that way with my bf, he has zero kids. You told him about your children, and he didnt run away; that's a great sign that he will stick around
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
breebree04
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 10:03 AM

I always feel like this too but really its just our own insecurities getting the best of us. You probably wont know how he is going to handle kids/family life until he is actually in that situation. Just take things slow and see how it goes. He may surprise you.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 10:09 AM

You are jumping to conclusions without the bf even meeting your kids.  Just sit back and relax.  Your kids are great.  They are just normal kids.  Take things slow with the bf.  He will let you know if he's not ready for the kids after a few visits.  Best of luck to you. 

NaviHope
by Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:40 AM

Wow, your post sounds just like the one I wrote just minutes ago.  I am basically in the same situation.  Divorced with two kids, in a relationship with a great guy and feeling nervous about mixing it all together for the first time.  I have choose not too just yet.  My kids are 8 and 10 and he has a 6 year old that lives out of state.  I just think none of the little ones need to be involved just yet.  The kids know Mommy dates and that's about it.  There is no big rush for him to meet your kids is there?  Even when the bf mentions meeting the kids and each others folks I just push it back.  There is nothing wrong with taking it slow and just enjoying each others company.  I say if you insist upon them meeting, I still would make it brief and just focus on building your relationship first.  Good luck.

Eva

Robsessed98
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 4:59 PM
If you feel like this is heading somewhere and he seems to be ready and.wants to meet them, do it. If you're at that point, its better to go ahead and find out now if he can deal or not before you get too serious. Good luck.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
1luckygirl
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:03 PM
I have been telling myself that exact thing "he has known about my kids from day one and hasn't ram away yet", I know that's a positive sign. So I just keep reminding myself that to feel reassured that it can work.


Quoting mytrueloveS:

I feel that way with my bf, he has zero kids. You told him about your children, and he didnt run away; that's a great sign that he will stick around

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
1luckygirl
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:21 PM
It's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. While I agree I want to take things slow I also don't want to wait too long before he gets to meet my kids because I wouldn't want to find out that he couldn't handle kids after I started to feel more serious about our relationship. I have tried to keep pushing it back some more. We were talking today about our plans and I said to him that we didn't need to take the kids to the museum this weekend (he would like to take them out), since he has to leave for mexico on monday and needs time to pack and get ready. But he said no he really wants to meet them and they are actually excited about meeting him as well. I know I'm just worried and won't know if it can work after the get to meet a few times. Good luck to you too.


Quoting NaviHope:

Wow, your post sounds just like the one I wrote just minutes ago.  I am basically in the same situation.  Divorced with two kids, in a relationship with a great guy and feeling nervous about mixing it all together for the first time.  I have choose not too just yet.  My kids are 8 and 10 and he has a 6 year old that lives out of state.  I just think none of the little ones need to be involved just yet.  The kids know Mommy dates and that's about it.  There is no big rush for him to meet your kids is there?  Even when the bf mentions meeting the kids and each others folks I just push it back.  There is nothing wrong with taking it slow and just enjoying each others company.  I say if you insist upon them meeting, I still would make it brief and just focus on building your relationship first.  Good luck.


Eva


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
1luckygirl
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:27 PM
Thanks. I agree it's best to do it before things get serious. I'm just really nervous. I tried to get him to postpone our plans until he returns from his trip for work in a couple weeks but he told me no he really wants to meet them. I know that's a good sign and I'm just letting myself worry too much.


Quoting Robsessed98:

If you feel like this is heading somewhere and he seems to be ready and.wants to meet them, do it. If you're at that point, its better to go ahead and find out now if he can deal or not before you get too serious. Good luck.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)