child custody, meditation, visitation...

[0324Momma]

Girls I need help!

My son will be a year old March 24! Yay Happy Birthday Adam.. his dad and I WERE good friends, until I realized how much I did for him and how little he did for me.. He is the master of manipulation..Anyway we never had a custody schedule in legal writing (we've been broken up since I was 5 months preg.) He has a new baby coming, she got pregnant when our son was 3 months old!.. So, I realized we need this in writing but I have sooo many questions,,

1. medaition or custody court? 

2. what is your custody agreement ours is confuing to everyone and a lot of back and forth

3. how and where do I begin all of this?

Help girls :(

[Mommyto2LilMen]

I recommend getting a lawyer and starting there.  I have primary physical custody with him having 'parenting time' everyother weekend and holiday. 

Good luck hun!! 

[0324Momma]

I can't afford a lawyer, why I am leaning towards medation, we both like our agreement tho it is a lot of back and forth for our son.. I also dont want to take his son from him.. hes isn't a great person but hes a good dad and our son loves him.. so for him to go 2 weeks without seeing him isnt fair..

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

I recommend getting a lawyer and starting there.  I have primary physical custody with him having 'parenting time' everyother weekend and holiday. 

Good luck hun!! 

[BambiEyes26]

I recommend beginning by getting a lawyer. Depending on the state, mediation would be ordered in order to discuss custody and mediation. I reccommend, if mediation is an option, I would take it and do the best you can to make an agreement. If you cannot reach an agreement, then you head to court, but then it gets pretty messy. I did this personally because I wanted to be able to make my own decision when it came up to custody and mediation instead of a judge making up my mind for me. It depends on the state of course, I'm in IL.

[faerie75]

If you like your schedule, then just go to mediation and have it in writing

[BambiEyes26]

Depending on the state, there maybe a Legal Aid Society or Legal Aid Bureau that offers free legal representation. I was able to get my lawyer for free, eventhough it was mainly because of domestic violence. I would do your research and make phone calls.

Quoting 0324Momma:

I can't afford a lawyer, why I am leaning towards medation, we both like our agreement tho it is a lot of back and forth for our son.. I also dont want to take his son from him.. hes isn't a great person but hes a good dad and our son loves him.. so for him to go 2 weeks without seeing him isnt fair..

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

I recommend getting a lawyer and starting there.  I have primary physical custody with him having 'parenting time' everyother weekend and holiday. 

Good luck hun!! 

[0324Momma]

I like our sechdule but it is a lot of back and forth for our son...I'm afraid its to unstable

[LifeCafe42]

Agreed most states make you go to mediation first anyway. I would consult with legal aid just to make sure you are covering everything. Holidays, does the other parent get first dibs on watching the child if the other will be out for a certain amount of time. Easier to figure it all out now then have to keep going back if something comes up

Quoting faerie75:

If you like your schedule, then just go to mediation and have it in writing

[faerie75]

Work out transport too, that gets to be a pain in the ass. Meet halfways or receiving parent transport. Also work out how far each are allowed to move. County, state, mileage whatever. Or if one moves they are responsible for all transport

[jenmomx3]

 If you got to court for custody, they send you to mediation first.  If you ar able to come to an agreement in mediation, the judge will follow what the two parents have agreed to.  If not, he will hear testimony and make his own decision.  Mine is that my ex is supposed to get every other weekend, AFTER 6 months of supervised visitiation, and 1 month of overnights once a week.  You can go to court to file the paperwork on your own, or if you can go to your local legal aid office, OR you can get a lawyer.

[0324Momma]

This is our current agreement..it is very confusing to EVERYONE... but me and his father..