Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Custody documentation? Please help :(

Posted by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 12:15 PM
  • 12 Replies

so I am in the middle of a pretty heated custody battle.

It has been going on for a year now.

So far, we have only been able to get temporary custody established, I have sole temporary custody, he has supervised visitation.

We go to mediation later this month and then of course if nothing comes of that we head to court. 

I have been very good at keeping track of literally EVERYTHING that has been going on, but now that I am preparing to get ready to meet with my lawyer and begin this.....all I have is a book of scattered notes and documents.

Does anyone have experience in organizing this stuff in a good way of presenting it?

by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 12:15 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 12:20 PM
Too much "stuff" just gets ignored. The easiest way is to use a calender and document SPECIFICS... not your impressions/thoughts. Track dates/times of visits... if he missed visits or late, etc.
writing out phone conversations aren't really admissible since there is not proof of the conversation. I only talk to my ex by text or email.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Robsessed98
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 1:24 PM
Combine your stuff and make one list in chronological order. Weed out insignificant stuff and focus on the important things. Good luck.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
dom3269
by Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 1:35 PM

Ìm doing kind of the same thing for my custody case which actually hasn't even started yet. I make sure not to conversate on the phone, I have records of EVERY email and text. Word documents of call logs, etc.

Start with the dates (oldest to current). Organize them in a word doc, Don't write any "emotional" stuff just facts. Use different fonts for headings of dates and convos. If everything you have is jumbled, just be patient. It will take some time to organize everything but once you do, you will feel a huge sense of relief.

raegan1221
by Raegan on Mar. 10, 2013 at 1:37 PM
I just have it documented on the computer by dates.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
dom3269
by Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 1:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Yea, computer is best BUT make sure you back everything up on a flash drive that you won't lose!

Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 3:15 PM
The standard of parenting is so low you can trip over it. Why does he have supervised visits? How old is the child? I would say don't nit pick. If he sones or drinks occasionally, has a GF, looks at legal porn, that stuff doesn't matte. Keep track of missed visits and there probably needs to be a few before I would list them. Any behavior that is dangerous to child. If he has supervised visits I don't know what you will come up with unless he is homeless, drives a car with no brakes, etc. he already has supervised visits.
lovelyhope92
by Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:27 PM

Well, thats the issue, he's trying to get unsupervised visits. He doesn't smoke or drink, but he's proven himself to just be unstable in the past. Had an underage girlfriend for the first year of their lives, who verbally attacked and targeted the kids when they broke up. History of domestic violence. He's not necessarily homeless but I can't count on two hands the places he's lived since they've been born so he's definitely never had a  stable home, drives on a suspended license, and has missed A LOT of visits. He started out getting 8 hours a week supervised but then he took me back to court to try to get unsupervised and i showed the judge that he wasnt even showing half the time so the judge cut his hours down, now we just have to go back to get it finalized and see what the final custody arrangement will be, which im nervous about because ive never heard of the final agreement being supervised :( He's not a BAD guy necessarily, just young and stupid and doesn't have his life together whatsoever. He's now recently decided to move out of town as well. Most of the stuff I have documented is like him not having diapers or wipes or milk when they're over there, giving them fast food every time he has them (which ik that might be kinda irrelevant but its important to me, our kids were born prematurely and are still very young, doctors and i have both told him that on occasion of course it wont hurt but theyre stomachs are still pretty fragile for all of that, they aren't even on whole milk yet), lying about his visits. I don't know, it's just a mess. He also had some child molestation allegations against him when he was a juvenile and I've had conversations with his family about that and documented what I could but .... :/ so nerve racking! thankyou for all the help! 

lovelyhope92
by Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:27 PM

Oh and we have twin daughters, they just turned one and a half. 

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 7:15 PM
Is there really a reason he only has supervised? If not.. If he is not a danger to you or the kid(s) id try to be civil and come to an agreement. If not then idk.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
lovelyhope92
by Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 7:30 PM

there are many reasons he has supervised. I've done nothing but try to be civil. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)