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Hello

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 11:42 AM
  • 9 Replies
Hello all,

My name is Mary and I am a mother of a 4 year old and 1 month old girls in Bayside NY. My husband and I have had issues for over 10 years and were recently separated during my pregnancy with our second daughter. He moved back in with us right before I gave birth but now the problems are back and he and I are separating again. He is moving out and although I know this is the best thing for all of us I still feel like so depressed and extremely sad to see him go. I love him but he just doesn't want to try and make things work. We've gone through separations before and I always begged him to come home. I'm just wondering how other women have dealt with this and gotten over their ex especially when they have to see each other for their kids. Thanks all for any insight and I'm so glad tone part of this group
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by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 11:42 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Pink.Sunshine
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 11:42 AM

Welcome :D I live in New York too in Brooklyn.

LauraMH
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 11:47 AM
Welcome to the group. I don't have any advice for your situation, sorry. I was happy to divorce my ex.
Robsessed98
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Welcome to the group. It isn't easy starting over, especially with children, but you will adapt and make life good again. Even though you love him, if he's not wanting to be married anymore, its best for everyone to divorce. I guarantee that you will find happiness again in time. Stay strong.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Mar. 16, 2013 at 1:16 PM
Welcome! I'm glad you found us!
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virginiamama71
by Carrie on Mar. 16, 2013 at 1:18 PM

welcome to the group

My ex and I did not separate until we were both in complete agreement that our marriage was not going to work. Once he left, he was gone and we proceeded to divorce and life is better for both of us, now a year later. 

Maviloria
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:52 PM


Hi virginiamama71,

thanks for the warm welcome. How did you cope after the separation? I am finding it so hard to let go and not beg my ex to come back home when I know we're both better off not being together.  Just the thought of being alone is terrifying me and making me feel so depressed.

Quoting virginiamama71:

welcome to the group

My ex and I did not separate until we were both in complete agreement that our marriage was not going to work. Once he left, he was gone and we proceeded to divorce and life is better for both of us, now a year later. 



virginiamama71
by Carrie on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:57 PM

 It was more of a relief when he finally left and since it was agreed upon it did not bother me as much as if he had left and it was not an agreement. We knew we were finished and nothing could save the marriage and since I had been basically financially responsible for myself and my son for the last 2 years of the marriage and pretty much every now and than during the 9 years of marriage, everything felt the same financially.

For your marriage, the problems may keep coming back cause they are not being taken care of. Try counseling and if its not going to work, than you both have to make the final decison to end the marriage. If he does not want counseling you may have to go alone at first but someone needs to be bought into the marriage to help you both recognize the problems and what to do to work thru them if its even possible.

Quoting Maviloria:

 

Hi virginiamama71,

thanks for the warm welcome. How did you cope after the separation? I am finding it so hard to let go and not beg my ex to come back home when I know we're both better off not being together.  Just the thought of being alone is terrifying me and making me feel so depressed.

Quoting virginiamama71:

welcome to the group

My ex and I did not separate until we were both in complete agreement that our marriage was not going to work. Once he left, he was gone and we proceeded to divorce and life is better for both of us, now a year later. 

 

 

 

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Mar. 17, 2013 at 5:39 PM
Welcome
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steviechick
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:39 PM

HI, Mary and welcome to the group.  I"m sorry you are going through all of this.  I've been there, too, about two years ago.  Married for 26 yrs.   Ex cheated on me and fathered two kids.  One day you will look back and realize that your relationship ended for the best.  You fought the good fight.  Sometimes love just isn't enough to keep a marriage together especially when the one you love is so messed up (like my ex). 

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