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Vent/Input Welcome..**EDIT**

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:57 AM
  • 16 Replies
I am so frustrated, I mean beyond what I normally am with my sons father. I filed for child custody and paid the fees and sent the certified letter with signed reciept on 2/28/2013, here we are 18 days later, he still has not went to pick up the letter at the post office for the notice that was left (I just called to verify since it hadn't been returned and usually they try 3x in 15 days before its returned) Nope, its still sitting there and the lady said they would leave another notice today, smh. Mean while I have signed up for the parenting classes they make you take (we have been in this setting since his birth now, but still have to take parenting classes, he does to if he will accept the letter). So now with money out, classes signed for, papers filed, what else do I need to do to on my end to push through this thing if he chooses not to be accountable?, thats why I have filed papers to begin with. Not to mention that this is the 2nd week he has not confirmed a visit with his son and hasn't called since last Monday, smh. When I pick em, I guess I pick really pick the runt of the litter **EDIT** So as I often do, when I start to think more I start to get more upset and aggrivated at our situation and the role he plays. So I sent him an oline message. It went as follows... This is the 2nd week that you have not confirmed a visit with (child), smh. It's what I expect, but not what (child) deserves!! Anyways, you also have something of (child 2, not his) that I just want back, you have had it to long and I don't trust you having it any longer a couple days has turned into 2 weeks and someone always gets screwed. Also $$ you said you were to have in a week for CS, yep well that has been over a month ago. Do something for someone else and pick up the letter from the post office, they said a notice has been sent out and it is still sitting there to be picked up. *Later that night he called and I told him he needed to read his online message (I was not going to hold up his phone call to (child) to discuss this, but he wanted the run down. He said he would bring (child 2) item back and would pick up letter from post office tomorrow (Tuesday) that he had received a notice and that MY schedule should mean that every Tuesday he should have visits without confirming, I went on to tell him we do not sit around waiting for him and as it had been for months that he needed to confirm as he had not made 4 consistant visits in a row since June. Today I called the post office again and they still have the letter, which means that he didn't go pick it up yesterday like he said he would. So flippin mad!! So I can't help myself I write off another online message that explains that I have been raising my kids since birth on my on and that if he isn't gonna step up and be the role he wants the apperance to be then he needs to step out. My child deserves to not be insecure about when or if his dad is gonna visit again and deserves more then the convience visits his dad is giving him. Ladies I know I will probably get comments on how such a nagging bitch I am, and I can admit to that in someways. My intentions are to protect my child and stop him from being a sometimes father. I just want my child to have someone in his life that truely cares and takes the time for him, I have given up my life (happily so) examples: dating, friends, weekends away, nights out and sleeping in, which I am sure many of you single moms have also. Mean while this grown man, which can't figure out his own life to save his life has went on to reproduce with another woman and live with her, basically she has took my place (and I am not sad I left because I could not continue in keeping him up (living with her, not working but on a positive has started to go back to school), driving her car, she provides everything and is pregnant). When he visits he does not look happy at all and has told me that there relationship is not what it looks like (not sure if this is his opinion or if it is on both sides) and its really besides the point, I DONT CARE. So am I doomed to hell, because of this or do I just need to have my hands tied and keyboard took away when I get frustrated?? Does anyone else get or have been like this, what helps you??
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Robsessed98
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this
You've done all you can. Just be prepared to wait awhile. If he doesn't pick the mail up they will have the sheriff try to serve him in person. In the meantime keep documenting and gathering dirt on him for when they get him.
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easinpc
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:45 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with this.  When I had to file a revision my attorney said we'd try the certified mail first and if he wouldn't sign for it then we'd have to have him served.  Luckily he signed for it so I didn't have to pay to have him served!! 


 

Quoting Robsessed98:

You've done all you can. Just be prepared to wait awhile. If he doesn't pick the mail up they will have the sheriff try to serve him in person. In the meantime keep documenting and gathering dirt on him for when they get him.


 

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:24 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree. Good luck Hun!

Quoting Robsessed98:

You've done all you can. Just be prepared to wait awhile. If he doesn't pick the mail up they will have the sheriff try to serve him in person. In the meantime keep documenting and gathering dirt on him for when they get him.
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amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, all you've got to do now is be patient.  Not what you want to hear, I'm sure but.... there's really nothing else you can do until you can have him served.

Quoting Robsessed98:

You've done all you can. Just be prepared to wait awhile. If he doesn't pick the mail up they will have the sheriff try to serve him in person. In the meantime keep documenting and gathering dirt on him for when they get him.


steviechick
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:29 PM
1 mom liked this

Yep, once he's officially been served all you can do is wait.  You will have your day in court. 

brieri
by Platinum Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:55 PM
1 mom liked this

 You've done all you could.  Hope you have an attorney to help you through the issues..

MamaT710
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:47 PM
Unfortunately I do not have an attorney, I have done all my papers through the self help center and keep all documents and messages between us as well as dates he has visited or called. Child Support has the records on what he has been paid and what has been ordered which ain't much. I just want this all to end, unfortunately I can't make someone be the person I think our son deserves all I can do is be here when he is hurt and hope by having some of our issues in court that I can make being hurt, hurt less often by having to go to him about things he shows no interest in to begin with.
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steviechick
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:50 PM

I knew I needed an atty dealing with my ex.  And, it's a good thing I have an atty.  He's showing his snake-like viper side to him.  Had I gone through mediation or represented myself I would be in a world of hurt right now.  My retainer has been worth every penny paid - thus far.

LilShamrock
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:14 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with all the other posts, but I stronger suggest getting an attorney (trust me on this as I tried being a decent person!)...

You've done what you can, but the attorney will be able to navigate the legal system more so than you can.

Be well
Sham
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MamaT710
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 12:51 PM

 So I am not good at the editing part of this post.  I seperated lines and tried to make it look different but all it did when postd was mush it all together.  Sorry for the LONG READ, but if you can work through it any advice would be appreicated greatly!!have a nice day

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