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Posted by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:46 PM
  • 10 Replies
I got a phone call from the secretary at my daughter's school saying my daughter was having some emotional issues and crying. I got on the phone with her and sh said a girl she barely knows has been calling her names behind her back, names like "slut" and "whore." My daughter did go to the principal, so he is aware of this. I am concerned for my daughter's emotional state. This girl is also saying that some of my own daughter's friends are calling her those names behind her back, too. I believe this is heresay, but what do you do?
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by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:46 PM
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by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:58 PM
Btw, my daughter is 14 and in the 9th grade.
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by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:54 PM

I'm guessing by now you have talked with your daughter...did she give you some more detail about who these girls are and why she thinks they are treating her this way?

by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:01 PM
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That's what girls that age do when they get mad or jealous of another girl. Id be willing to bet dd has an idea why its being said. Odds are next week it will be a different girl. If it continues and the principal hasn't done anything, go to the girl's parents. It may embarrass the hell out of dd and could cause more problems for her, but if its that serious, it needs to be addressed.
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by Mom on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:34 PM

I agree with seeing how things go for a week or two and if nothing has changed talked to the parents. 

by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 9:54 PM
That happened to me on and off over a couple years. My mom told me to walk away. Tell you what, when I finally socked a bitch it all but stopped. Idk what to recommend. I do know they will continue if they see her crying over it or think she will put up w it.
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by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 10:32 PM
I agree if they see her cry they will continue and probably escalate the name calling, ask your daughter to think about why/when it started. I didn't get teased in school but about 4th grade a neighborhood girl wanted to fight me for no reason so my mother went right to the house with me, I could have died, and spoke to the mother who was surprised at what her daughter was doing. There wasn't a reason, she was just trying to be liked, my point is if there isn't a reason your daughter could think about, then it could be totally unrelated to her and these girls parents need to be contacted if the principal is not correcting this immediately. I hope it improves for your daughter.
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 11:36 PM
Give her ideas on how to handle it. We can't fight our kids battles or they won't be able to in the future
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by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:52 AM

I'm leaning on the mean girls dislike your daughter for some reason and the only way they can take it out on her is to call her cruel names.  Find out what is causing this and bring your daughter to the principals office with the parents and girls of who is causing all of this nonsense.  A strict punishment is in order for the girls causing your daughter all of this pain.  They need to learn that respect and gossip go hand in hand.

by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 12:03 PM

I did have a heart-to-heart talk with my daughter when she got home. Turns out you are all right; it's jealousy. There is a boy who likes my daughter, and this other girl likes him, too.  The principal allowed my daughter to stay and help out in the office for the last two periods (which she had with this other girl), and he had a talk with the girl and the boy (I failed to mention a boy was involved in the name calling). This boy once wanted to date my daughter but I would not allow it; therefore, I guess this is his way of getting back for being rejected. I don't know what the outcome of that talk was, but I can imagine the boy denied it or said that he meant it as a joke. That's just the way he is-never accepting the consequences of his own actions. I don't think calling people those names is a joke, and I take high offense to it. I don't even allow my daughters to use those words in my home.

Anyway, my daughter and this girl talked last night and the girl apologized. However, I am having a hard time accepting the apology. For example, the girl said, "I'm sorry for acting the way I did, but you started it by coming up and talking to me." I was taught that when you add the word ‘but,' to an apology, it isn't a real apology because she is also putting the blame on my daughter, who only wanted to talk to the girl and get to the bottom of the issue. That's when the girl threatened to punch my daughter, and  that's when my daughter walked away. She didn't actually start crying until she called me from the office phone, so none of the kids saw her cry. Still, it's unsettling what these kids do to each other these days. I did tell her to stay away from the girl and the boy from now on and stick with the friends she knows are her true friends.  I also said that the girl was all talk and no action and that if she did throw a punch at my daughter, she'd then have to deal with a raging mother bear. 

My daughter is an introvert, never causing problems, and pretty much is liked by everybody (well, except for this jealous girl). I have raised her with good morals and good values, and I know she is a good girl and tells me everything.  So to have kids pick on her is a huge issue for me.

But, yes, it is a tender age. We will see what transpires over the next several weeks and play it by ear. 

by Gold Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 3:18 PM

I hope that she doesnt have any more problems!

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