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Sick of living with my parents

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Im so sick of living with my parents. Ive been in their home now for nearly 18 months...all of my stuff is in storage except my clothes..my son has a mattress, some toys and clothes..and the rest of his stuff is also in storage...I feel like Im stuck..there is no where for me to go, I can't afford a place to live...the one hope I had of having a place to live...has a wait list and there are like 25 people infront of me on that list. I have no privacy, no personal space and I can't even bring friends over...and I can never make plans unless a family member can babysit...and when I do make plans, my family always has something to say about it as if Im not allowed to have some type of social life.

by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:55 PM
Replies (31-39):
singlesavymomma
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:17 PM

I completely understand what you are going through! I'm in the same spot and people love to tell me how easy it is to get out but it's not. Everyone's situation is different and it's not fair to speculate! With me, it's like a vicious cycle because any money that I could save is used to help with my parent's mortgage, utilities and groceries. It's so complicated and hard to figure out a way to live together without wanting to kill each other! My parent's and I just recently sat down to go through some expectations we have for each other and decided to start treating each other more like roommates and not parent/child. I don't know if that could work for you but I thought I'd give you some POSITIVE feedback :) Good Luck!!

Quoting mag12305cmg:

My parents can't help with deposits and stuff, they are lucky they can pay the bills every month and that is with my help. A Decent 2-3 bedroom apartment in this town is $1000-1300 a month...and seeing as I only bring home about $1200 a month, I can't afford to pay even half of that (I have other bills that I am need to be responsible for)...and I don't know any single moms who don't already live in section 8 housing...Im not into moving in with a stranger...Ive had roommates in the past and it was a disaster. (one of my co-workers currenlty has a roommate and I hear her horror stories (and no, moving in with her when she boots that roommate out is not an option b/c I can't stand her boyfriend, plus she is no only a co-worker, but she is my direct supervisor)..While my sister moving in with me would sound like a great idea, she has a terrible track record of just up and leaving with no warning leaving behind lots of bills...she did it just last year and she owes like 5 different people money.

I know my situation is complicated and no one will understand what Im going through or how I feel, I wrote this to vent...not for people to tell me how I can get out  (or for people to make me feel even worse about my situation, I get enough critisim from the people around me)b/c its not fesible for me to get out of here and be able to afford bills I need to make sure get paid.


HannaSu
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:19 AM

I Agree!

That is what I'm doing right now.. Yes! its tiring. But you will have a better future and that dream of having own place for me and my daughter will be a reality.  


Quoting emdizzle64:

I totally agree with this!!

There are like grants or somethign someones was telling me about for single mothers. They can help you with child care also. You should look into it! 

 

Quoting virginiamama71:

Are you working?

I would take advantage of this time and go back to school if you are not already enrolled, if working save as much as I can, than once you are ready to go out on your own, you will be stable and may not have to come back home.

Than you can do all the things you want to enjoy in your own place. 

 

 


 

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Mar. 21, 2013 at 7:52 AM
Call legal aide to try get help with an attorney. Or else just fonts the courthouse and see what it take to file for child support. If for some reason he doesn't pay you have a chance at his tax return if he files and gets one.
Do you have any friends who would allow you and your child to love with them as room mates? Of you only work 40 hours a week, why are you gone 12 hours a day? If its for a commute maybe try find a job closer to home then pick up part time work for extra money. Good luck.
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mag12305cmg
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:24 PM
No, I don't have friends I can move in with, they have families of their own. I work as close to home as I can, my parents live outside of town and it takes me no less than 20 min to get to work but usually 25. I get up to get myself ready an hour before I get my son up. There are not many good paying jobs here, I got one of the best entry level pays u can get around here ( my mom has been with her company for 6 years and makes less than I do per hour . According to the state I make too much to get any type of assistance...I'm not comfortable doing things without legal counsel. My ex will probably not get any taxes back because he never paid any in, he didn't notice the company he is working for wasn't taking it out.
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mag12305cmg
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 7:17 PM

6am: get up, shower, brush teeth, get dressed, hair and make up...also take this time to make my lunch or grab something to eat if Im hungry.

7am: start waking my son up, get him dressed, brush his teeth and his hair..sometime he likes breakfast at home and sometimes he is fine (he gets breakfast at school either way). We leave the house no later than 7:50am..

8-8:05am- drop my son off at school, they do not have someone outside to take the kids in so I have to walk him in and to his class (he is in a small school that only has head start and pre-k). His school does not have a before school or afterschool program.

By the time I leave my sons school its 8:10-8:15, head into work...I have to be in the building and clocked in no later than 8:45 am, I give myself some extra time for commute incase I run into a traffic accident or something.

8:45am-5:15pm (6:15pm on Friday)-work

3:00pm-My son is picked up at school by his dad, they come here to my parents house, hang out do homework, after school snack.

5:15 (6:15 on Friday)- out of work, sometimes I have to stop at the store and sometimes I have to get gas...and then of course there is traffic so Im usually home no earlier than 5:45 (6:45 on Friday), come in and start dinner (if my mom hasn't already started it), check to make sure there is nothing in my sons back pack, talk to him about his day.

Sometimes my son has already had his bath and sometimes he still has to take it, we usually sit down for dinner around 6:30pm. Dinner and then around 7:30 we do bedtime routine and lights are out by 8pm...after bedtime I usually destress, have a snack and watch a few tv shows, do dishes or laundry.


My ex's schedule:

Monday and Wednesday: He has class at 8am and gets out of class at 2:15pm, Tuesday he has class from 8am-9:15am....his job doesn't usually schedule him for these days or they will schedule him for 2-3hours

Thursday and Friday: He works from 8am-2pm.

Saturday:8am-2pm

Sunday:8am-4pm

My mom works Mon-Saturday she has a 30-45 min commute to her job some days she has to leave as early as 6:30am and some nights she doesn't get home until after 6:30pm..

My sisters schedule is unpredictable sometimes she works mornings, sometimes evenings and sometimes she works all day.


mochasista
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:32 PM
I know how you feel. I lived with my parents for almost two years. I had both of our beds in their living room. No privicy and my mom telling me that everything I did was wrong. I just moved out this month. The only reason why I was able to save enough to do that is because luckily DS dad has no problem paying child support.
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Bree62012
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:39 PM
I understand how you feel. I live at home with my mom and she makes me feel like a terrible mom anytime I want to go out. I want so much to get my own place; it's driving me crazy!
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Xansmomma1112
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:27 PM

All of these living with parents horror stories make me feel really blessed!  I had lived out of my parents home for 12 years, and had to move back last October.  At first, I was really down on myself because I saw it as a failure! Who wouldn't... Pregnant, Single, and 31 years old moving back home?!?! But then someone pointed out that it was about more than me now. I had to worry about the child I was expecting and do what was best for him.  So, now I look at it as an opportunity for me to improve my situation, while I have the chance... My rent at my parents is less than half of what I was paying on my own. My son and each  have our own room and bathroom. My mom and I share cleaning/cooking responsibilites and she even watches my son for me so that I don't have to pay daycare! Yes, we get on each others nerves sometimes, we're different people with different personalities... When I feel myself getting crabby, I go to my room and then remind myself that if it weren't for my parents I would be a lot worse off than I am.

If your family isn't willing watch your son (or you don't want to hear what they have to say when you go out), you mentioned your friends have families... Chances are one of them knows a sitter that might be willing to help out on occasion. 

Honestly, if you stop focusing on what people aren't doing for you and be thankful for what they are doing, you may be a little less frustrated with your situation.  Your parents helped you out when you had little other choice. 

Also, you mentioned having medical problems that limit your work... Is this something that you could get partial disability for? I mean, if it's limiting the type of work you can do,etc., it may be worth looking in to.

mag12305cmg
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:36 PM



Quoting Xansmomma1112:

All of these living with parents horror stories make me feel really blessed!  I had lived out of my parents home for 12 years, and had to move back last October.  At first, I was really down on myself because I saw it as a failure! Who wouldn't... Pregnant, Single, and 31 years old moving back home?!?! But then someone pointed out that it was about more than me now. I had to worry about the child I was expecting and do what was best for him.  So, now I look at it as an opportunity for me to improve my situation, while I have the chance... My rent at my parents is less than half of what I was paying on my own. My son and each  have our own room and bathroom. My mom and I share cleaning/cooking responsibilites and she even watches my son for me so that I don't have to pay daycare! Yes, we get on each others nerves sometimes, we're different people with different personalities... When I feel myself getting crabby, I go to my room and then remind myself that if it weren't for my parents I would be a lot worse off than I am.

If your family isn't willing watch your son (or you don't want to hear what they have to say when you go out), you mentioned your friends have families... Chances are one of them knows a sitter that might be willing to help out on occasion. 

Honestly, if you stop focusing on what people aren't doing for you and be thankful for what they are doing, you may be a little less frustrated with your situation.  Your parents helped you out when you had little other choice. 

Also, you mentioned having medical problems that limit your work... Is this something that you could get partial disability for? I mean, if it's limiting the type of work you can do,etc., it may be worth looking in to.

Things didn't get bad until after my sister moved in...and her son moved out (she didn't raise him, he despises her). I never planned to be here this long, but its just how it has happened....My friends don't really know babysitters, they don't go out unless their husbands are available to be with the kids....I know a few teens who do babysitting, but its not like I can take my son to their house so I can't use them. Ive used my friends a few times as sitters, but only in an emergency. I know Im a protective mama and I always have been and probably always will be, my son is my only child and I dont have any plans to have anymore (I had a paragard IUD inserted when my son was 18 months old). He misses me when Im gone and I don't want him to hate me for not being there when he needs me.

My medical problems don't prevent me from working, they limit the type of work I can do. I have a hard time standing all day, but I can't sit all day either, I also can't lift heavy amounts of weight (my son weighs 26lbs and Im lucky if I can handle carrying him for more than 5 min) (osteoarthritis, facet joint disease and ankylosing spondylitis) My problems don't qualify me for any amount of disability...I have friends who have worse problems than me and can't even get disability.


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