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Dating a guy with kids

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 My bf has 2 kids and we've been together for like 4 years, took a break for a few months last year, but live together. I have never spent time with is kids. He lives with me and mine. He doesn't do anything to change it. He talks a lot but doesn't do anything. She hates me and I'd like to choke the shit out of that bitch. But me hating her has nothing to do with how I would treat the kids. She maybe their mother but they just got stuck with that selfish bitch, it's not their fault. My bf decides to deal with the problems it now causes at home between me and him by not seeing them or not telling me when he does see them. He doesn't seem to realize that just makes more problems. I don't know what to do. I just get so annoyed. It's to the point I don't even like to hear anything about them. I know that's not really right either but him having kids just makes so many problems. I hate feeling like that. I don't know what to do. I feel like I shouldn't have even gotten back together with him again. Now I'm stuck till Aug and I don't have the money to get my own place anyways. I just don't know how to handle this. My ex isn't so petty and selfish as she is.

 

CafeMom Tickers

by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 4:46 PM
Replies (11-20):
Tsmommy106
by Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:01 PM

 I don't think I can get pregnant. but I have thought about that. I'd raise that baby alone. I know I can't count on him.

Quoting kelmia2:

just dont get pregnant then it will make it a whole lot more complicated!!can of worms

 

CafeMom Tickers

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:25 PM
I don't know how I'd feel if this is leading towards marriage then the kids will eventually be around I don't like what he's doing
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Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:54 AM
I feel really sorry for his kids.
Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Mar. 21, 2013 at 7:46 AM
1 mom liked this
Doesn't sound like your relationship is in the best shape either, I think it's best for all involved if it were over. I mean really, if he had any balls at all he would file for formal custody arrangement. He wouldn't let her control him on the conditions as to when/how/who he sees the kids as well as the fact it's been 3 years and he hasn't even attempted to introduce you. Sorry Hun.
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tottaxi
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 7:57 AM
2 moms liked this

From everything you have shared with us, this guy is a LOSER.  Now he isn't holding up his end financially?  HELL NO.  Better in the beginning?  This guy has already checked out emotionally.  Telling you his ex was naked in front of him?  What, he HAD to stay and watch?  And he had to share this little tidbit with you?  Why?  To make HER the bitch and him some sort of victim?

Don't wait.  You already carry the financial load.  He needs to GO.  You deserve better than being used by this douche.  I think you already know all this...listen to your gut, stop blaming her because I doubt that much of what he tells you is true.  Just know that this is how he will talk about you...if he already isn't.

SaraSnider
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 8:02 AM
Im sorry but if you hate her maybe you shouldn't be around HER kids. Personally i would really flip out if my dd had to be around her dads gf that doesn't like me. You need to grow up about HIS kids and not worry about them. They don't need you in their lives!
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Tsmommy106
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:27 AM
She started everything off badly because she was jealous he had moved on. She's just jealous & controlling. She couldn't have him so she uses the kids to control him. You can't control your exs life because you don't like someone. Things between me & her, should have no effect on him seeing his kids. I can be an adult around her if I had to be around her & I would NEVER take any of this out on them. Again this is not their fault. & they're not just her kids, they're HIS kids too.

Quoting SaraSnider:

Im sorry but if you hate her maybe you shouldn't be around HER kids. Personally i would really flip out if my dd had to be around her dads gf that doesn't like me. You need to grow up about HIS kids and not worry about them. They don't need you in their lives!
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SaraSnider
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:58 AM
Ya they are HIS kids, he decides what HE wants. Maybe he and her don't want you around their kids. I sure and the hell wouldn't. Talking you wanna choke her, so mature. Best believe i would spend thousands of $ for someone like you to not be around my dd. So what she started it, you sound like the type of person to keep it going. I'm sure you will say, "i never once said anything mean tord her" smh.. hope he works it out so he gets to spend time with his kids and maybe his ex to, that's what needs to happen so the kids still think their parents can and will get along for them. They don't need a maybe permanent step mother that hates their mom around.


Quoting Tsmommy106:

She started everything off badly because she was jealous he had moved on. She's just jealous & controlling. She couldn't have him so she uses the kids to control him. You can't control your exs life because you don't like someone. Things between me & her, should have no effect on him seeing his kids. I can be an adult around her if I had to be around her & I would NEVER take any of this out on them. Again this is not their fault. & they're not just her kids, they're HIS kids too.



Quoting SaraSnider:

Im sorry but if you hate her maybe you shouldn't be around HER kids. Personally i would really flip out if my dd had to be around her dads gf that doesn't like me. You need to grow up about HIS kids and not worry about them. They don't need you in their lives!

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Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:04 PM

I'm sorry but it sounds like you cause alot of the toxic problems that are around here. The Dad will never have a normal relationship with his kids due to you and the mom. This relationship should end and quickly. I dont know how any parent can date someone not supportive of the relationship between he and his kids.

quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:05 PM

I don't do baby mama drama.

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