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Dating a guy with kids

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 My bf has 2 kids and we've been together for like 4 years, took a break for a few months last year, but live together. I have never spent time with is kids. He lives with me and mine. He doesn't do anything to change it. He talks a lot but doesn't do anything. She hates me and I'd like to choke the shit out of that bitch. But me hating her has nothing to do with how I would treat the kids. She maybe their mother but they just got stuck with that selfish bitch, it's not their fault. My bf decides to deal with the problems it now causes at home between me and him by not seeing them or not telling me when he does see them. He doesn't seem to realize that just makes more problems. I don't know what to do. I just get so annoyed. It's to the point I don't even like to hear anything about them. I know that's not really right either but him having kids just makes so many problems. I hate feeling like that. I don't know what to do. I feel like I shouldn't have even gotten back together with him again. Now I'm stuck till Aug and I don't have the money to get my own place anyways. I just don't know how to handle this. My ex isn't so petty and selfish as she is.

 

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by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 4:46 PM
Replies (31-40):
ochoa.mama
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:12 AM
Ok so he's sneaking to visit his kids? Cuz his ex & you are at it? Idk if that's what I'm getting. Maybe you need to back off some & let him br a father. To his own kids first, this sounds selfish
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Tsmommy106
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:56 AM
I tell him to go see his kids all the time, I just don't want to be lied to about it. I get mad when I find out after the fact & he had told me he was doing something else.

Quoting ochoa.mama:

Ok so he's sneaking to visit his kids? Cuz his ex & you are at it? Idk if that's what I'm getting. Maybe you need to back off some & let him br a father. To his own kids first, this sounds selfish
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witchybabymomma
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:44 PM

 Your BF chooses to solve the problems by either not seeing his kids or not telling you when he does. Obviously he never has them overnight then or you would know and your calling her selfish???

I don't know the whole situation obviously, but you and your BF really seem like the selfish ones.

mz23
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:02 PM
Quoting Tsmommy106:




Are you sure its not just him saying those things. A lot of guys claim their ex wont see the kids. My ex is that way. But he'll say he wants to see my dd but wont same when so im like anyways...
LovingMy2x4
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:26 PM

I dont think the problem here is your kids. I think the problem is that you are dating a terrible father. The hatred you have for his ex isnt healthy either. Also, he now probably doesnt tell you when he sees them because of your reaction afterwards. Im not saying you arent justified, Im sure you are if you have been dating a guy for 4 years and never even met his kids....but he probably just doesnt want to deal with it. He seems like he doesnt want to deal with much of anything. 

LovingMy2x4
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:28 PM

Also, you said you never met his ex. So I wouldnt take your boyfriends word for everything about her. Im sure my ex tells his fiance some crazy ass lies as to why he barely sees his kids too. 

newlife2013
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 4:38 PM
If there is already this much animosity, why bother. He isn't trying to spend time with the kids, they are not running to be with him and you really laugh that its only $20, as expensive as it is to raise kids it can't be that is funny.
Tsmommy106
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 4:41 PM

 I've talked to her before. She also likes to post pics on her FB of them playing family, well not anymore. But I've also been told by her and seen texts between them that she won't allow me around the kids. I do know though that he is part of it. I told him to go see the kids a couple weeks ago, I was busy with my son so he couldn't use me as an excuse, I obviously couldn't have been around. But he said they were going to their great-grandparents. But I know they didn't go that weekend, they went the next. So Idk if he lied to me or she lied to him.

 

Quoting LovingMy2x4:

Also, you said you never met his ex. So I wouldnt take your boyfriends word for everything about her. Im sure my ex tells his fiance some crazy ass lies as to why he barely sees his kids too. 

 

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Tsmommy106
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 4:52 PM

 She won't go get a job, lives off the government and was bragging that she was going to get him and get so much more. The only reason she got $20 more was because of how it was calculated. He did an average pay based on just 40 hours. They took an average of all his pay checks from the last year, with some overtime here and there $20 was added on.

I'm very aware of how much it costs to raise a child. I work my ass off to pay for everything for mine. His dad pays child support but I support my child. I don't sit around at home expecting my ex to pay my bills and live off the government. I understand there are people that work and still need it, or can't find a job and need it. But she just won't get a job.

Quoting newlife2013:

If there is already this much animosity, why bother. He isn't trying to spend time with the kids, they are not running to be with him and you really laugh that its only $20, as expensive as it is to raise kids it can't be that is funny.

 

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newlife2013
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:52 PM

i'd rather be single than have to deal with this, you really don't like her and will always complain about her, best to just get out of this whole situation. life is wonderful when there is peace, you don't have to like each other, i'm totally for never saying a word to each other but if someone bothers me so much i'd want nothing to do with them let them in some slight way be in my life.

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