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OK, Please don't judge me.........

Posted by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 8:17 PM
  • 40 Replies

So, as I have posted before, my ex decided to have an affair and leave our marriage, instead of leaving on a better term. I am still in "recovery", so I am still going through all the phases. My ex and his affair partner, girlfriend, have been in their relationship for about 18 months; like I said I am still in recovery so I have a lot of hurt and anger still that I am processing. Well today he asked if I could take the kids (his night) because his girlfriend is in the hospital with a serious infection........... I am by nature a person, that feels bad for everyone that is in pain either emotionally or physically. But when my ex was telling me, as tears were streaming down his face, I didn't care. I have no compassion for this person at all, neither her nor him. I feel bad that I didn't feel bad. So messed up. I am clearly not over it, because if I was, I would feel compassion. I just wish I was over it already. My therapist said it takes 2 years after the divorce to feel "normal" again, so if that's true, I am 2 months in 22 to go................crap.

by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 8:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Mar. 20, 2013 at 8:21 PM
1 mom liked this

 I hope she recovers and you will also recover from this too.

Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 8:40 PM
2 moms liked this
I think you should be the bigger person here and do it. I don't blame you from being angry with him and her.
Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Mar. 20, 2013 at 8:43 PM
*hugs*
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AWsMomma
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 8:50 PM

It has nothing to do about being a bigger person......There is nothing to be bigger about, it's about feelings that I am having. 

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:04 PM
If it was your friend that needed you... you would want your ex to put his feelings aside and take kids for you.


Quoting AWsMomma:

It has nothing to do about being a bigger person......There is nothing to be bigger about, it's about feelings that I am having. 


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ms.mftc
by Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:08 PM
I would have done the same thing.

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tottaxi
by Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:21 PM
3 moms liked this

You have a right to feel the way you do.  And no, there is no reason to feel the need to "play nice" with someone who has turned your life upside down.  Your feelings matter.  You have to put your own needs first at times and this is one of those times.

soulofsunmama
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:26 PM
Is he just going to drag the kids to the hospital?
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AWsMomma
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:32 PM

Again, this has nothing to do with taking my kids, it's about feeling bad about not having compassion for this person.........

wildhorses420
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:36 PM
3 moms liked this

"The opposite of love is not hate but indifference". When you're finished feeling anything for him, or her and ready to move on, you won't feel the need to be like this. It's perfectly normal. You'll get there. In the meantime, dig deep and try to be the better person in all of this. As long as you are gracious, no one can ever point the finger at you.

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