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My Ex Thinks Im Being Unfair **The Whole Story**

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Ok so I'm planning my sons baptism an all expenses.. my family is also helping me with alot of as well. My ex wants him an his family to go to the celebration after the ceremony. I don't have a problem with all of them coming but i told him in order for them to get invited he has to pay half the expenses. He got all mad an started yelling that i was unfair an selfish an total b*tch because of it. I feel its that he's his son too an if his family wants to come eat an dance at the celebration its only fair that he pays for half it. Why should my family an i put soo much planning an money into this just so he an his family could come an have free food music an drinks without helping out with anything. And if doesn't want to pay for half then well im sorry they are unwelcome.
So am i being unfair? Or reasonable?

**The Whole Story**
When our son was first born my ex ( my husband at the time) that i wanted to baptize our baby. His words were: Fine with me you be in charge of the planning an ill worry about the money. That was all good an dandy for me made me happy. When we split up i told him i still want to Baptise him an if he will still be willing to help. His words were: You can if you want i don't find it important, non of my family is baptized an were all doing just fine, y should i want to invest in something i don't think is important to me nor my family.
So i said: OK that's fine but I'm going to because to me it is important an means alot for me an just the way i was raised. So i start planning for my 47 guests that im having an we're Hispanic an in our culture we are always close with our extended family. Us Mexicans tend to have a big family :)
Anyway so i plan for my family an me. Buying only what i need to buy. I made the invitation myself, i got my cousins making decor, i got my aunts who will be making food, my cousin who is dj will do it for free for me :), got my uncles lending their trucks to haul in tables an chairs, so all is going pretty great...but when my ex came to pick up our son for the day he asked me if he could take our son with him to his family reunion (the day before our baptism) it was fine i had no problem...I blurted out: oh wow that's the day before he gets baptized . Well i guess he told his family an when he came to drop off our son he said: So my family wants to go to his Baptist since they're all goin to be down that weekend.
That is when i got little ticked off an asked him to pay for half since his contains an estimate of 30 ppl. So there's the story
Like come on :/
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 10:22 PM
Replies (11-20):
mumii17
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Same thought crossed my mind haha


Quoting KRIZZ25:

I WOULDN'T INVITE HIM AT ALL ..HE WONT'S TO ACT LIKE A DICK..TREAT HIM LIKE ONE.

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BeachMommy07
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:05 AM
2 moms liked this
Quoting mumii17:

I told him he could have his own little celebration with his family the next day or at least pay for the extra mouths he wants to have there...i was a stay home mom so i don't have alot of money to off with n besides the fact that he still owes me money but every time i see him which he claims he doesn't have but whenever i see him he either has a new clothes an shoes or a new tat! Like really...
He owes you money? No way would I be feeding the mouths of his family. I'd laugh in his face. Do your own seperate celebration with your family/friends and if he wants to include his family it's on him. The nerve.


mumii17
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:12 AM
Yes he pawned my jewelry, camera, an laptop without my permission n he never paid them back to get it out :( so now they're gone...plus child support


Quoting BeachMommy07:

Quoting mumii17:

I told him he could have his own little celebration with his family the next day or at least pay for the extra mouths he wants to have there...i was a stay home mom so i don't have alot of money to off with n besides the fact that he still owes me money but every time i see him which he claims he doesn't have but whenever i see him he either has a new clothes an shoes or a new tat! Like really...


He owes you money? No way would I be feeding the mouths of his family. I'd laugh in his face. Do your own seperate celebration with your family/friends and if he wants to include his family it's on him. The nerve.

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dawncs
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:13 AM
1 mom liked this

You should go for child support through the state, and it should be garnished. It would happen automatically, and he would not be able to delay the payments. I would also include in the order that he has to be current with child support in the year that he gets to claim the kids, if it is in the orders, as of December 31 of that year to claim them.

Quoting mumii17:

I told him he could have his own little celebration with his family the next day or at least pay for the extra mouths he wants to have there...i was a stay home mom so i don't have alot of money to off with n besides the fact that he still owes me money but every time i see him which he claims he doesn't have but whenever i see him he either has a new clothes an shoes or a new tat! Like really...

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

ImaSoulMom
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:19 AM
3 moms liked this
So he wants to be involved in the celebration part but not the responsibility? Wow. Just wow.

This is also his child and he should want to help. Yes, you planned it and yes it was your idea but I'm sure you did not plan on feeding all of his family members and having it be a giant free for all.
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Serenitymom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:44 AM
1 mom liked this

Being a dad is partaking in responsibilities.... apparently he expects a free ride from you. I wouldn't. I know this is special event, and if he just ups and decides he wants to come, then he needs to chip in. That child is half his responsibilities, he should act like it is.

musicalcat31
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:01 AM

my x doesn't want to pay child suport to any of his kids so he quit his job. he has 5 kids not all by me

soulofsunmama
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:08 PM
Ok, you asked for opinions.
I do think its wrong, but that's only my non important opinion. Do what you will.


Quoting mumii17:

Yes *my* plan not his so i should invite who i want not him. As the father only he can come.




Quoting soulofsunmama:

Very unreasonable.


This is *your* plan, not his, and you planned, knew, and expected to pay for it.


He's the father of course he should come, and unless your asking the same thing from EVERY single guest, I would back off and gracefully keep your mouth shut.


Jmho



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Ms_mom_81
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:57 PM
1 mom liked this

I would have just asked if he wouldn't mind chipping in for some food and drinks because you did not plan for it.

Ms_mom_81
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:59 PM

My ex was like that. He would never pay child support but then get on me because he felt like the boys pants were too short ect...


Quoting mumii17:

I told him he could have his own little celebration with his family the next day or at least pay for the extra mouths he wants to have there...i was a stay home mom so i don't have alot of money to off with n besides the fact that he still owes me money but every time i see him which he claims he doesn't have but whenever i see him he either has a new clothes an shoes or a new tat! Like really...



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