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Single Moms Single Moms

need advice and fast. I feel like exploding.

Posted by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:07 AM
  • 18 Replies
My spouse and I filed for divorce already. We haven't gone to court or been able to finalise anything because we have to wait till after I deliver (june). We had an agreement on our daughter meeting people and had problems with it earlier which supposibly we fixed. He took DD out and I strictly told him no beach because they have spring break going on (its always really dangerous because people are always drunk and killing innocent people) and he still took her and the girl we had problems with. Can I restrist him from seeing DD until court? And can he get in trouble for spending a shit load of money on the girl instead of helping me. I can't work anymore because obviously I'm pregnant and I have to make due with that he gives me. Its all so ugh! I never wanted to tell him he couldnt see his daughter but I don't trust him at all anymore. I feel like a little bomb that's about to go off.
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by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Two_Hearts
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:11 AM
4 moms liked this

Honestly? It sounds like you may be on a bit of a control struggle..

You 'told' him he couldn't take her somewhere on HIS time with her...there was no agreement.

It will look bad on you if you stop the visits..and keep the child away from the father, he wasn't necessarily putting her life in danger..and he IS her father, so he is able to protect her and make sure she was safe and what not while at the beach..

On the topic of the girl getting money but not you ...honestly, i would find a part time job that you can do ..just because you are pregnant does not mean you can not work, but i wouldnt be so dependant on him financially supporting YOU...that is not his job anymore, it is his job to HELP financially support the kids though.

s.osborne
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:18 AM
Yea you sound controlling and psychotic.
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lizz08
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:20 AM
Technically he did agree on not taking her to the beach because of the spring break. I have the messages. And he also denied and lied about the girl going with them when we have an agreement on that as well.

And I can't work. I had to quit my job because I was getting blackouts constantly. If not I'd still be out there working. And yes right now his daughter and I do depend on him financially. $225 and I make it last the whole month.


Quoting Two_Hearts:

Honestly? It sounds like you may be on a bit of a control struggle..

You 'told' him he couldn't take her somewhere on HIS time with her...there was no agreement.

It will look bad on you if you stop the visits..and keep the child away from the father, he wasn't necessarily putting her life in danger..and he IS her father, so he is able to protect her and make sure she was safe and what not while at the beach..

On the topic of the girl getting money but not you ...honestly, i would find a part time job that you can do ..just because you are pregnant does not mean you can not work, but i wouldnt be so dependant on him financially supporting YOU...that is not his job anymore, it is his job to HELP financially support the kids though.


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Daylorenasmom
by Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:21 AM
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You need to just get over the fact you and him aren't together and when he has y'all's dd that's his time you have no control over what he does with her on his time and if you try and stop visitations you will look real dumb in court when you finally go
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Mrs.Kubalabuku
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:22 AM

I wouldn't advise not letting him see her or making a fuss about the money.  It just comes across in court as being controlling and whiny.  You have to do what you can for yourself and document EVERYTHING you can, then show them in court what is going on.  You can explain your concern with him taking her to the beach, and how he did it anyways.  But be ready for him to explain how he made the situation safer, such as going earlier in the day, or going to a more family-centered area, etc.

Can you go to the local welfare office and explain the situation?  Do you have an attorney?

lizz08
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:22 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh thanks. I come here for advice and get a wannabe psychiatrist. If you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all.


Quoting s.osborne:

Yea you sound controlling and psychotic.

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s.osborne
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this
If your asking for advice isn't everyone a wannabe psychiatrist?

Quoting lizz08:

Oh thanks. I come here for advice and get a wannabe psychiatrist. If you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all.




Quoting s.osborne:

Yea you sound controlling and psychotic.

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Two_Hearts
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:27 AM
1 mom liked this

ok , well i stand corrected ..there was an agreement. 

However, you still can not use that against him..because once again he is her father and she came back unharmed correct?

As for the meeting the girlfriend thing, unless he has a new girlfriend every couple of months that he is introducing her too...it's not going to do any real damage to her so again the courts will most likely shrug that off.

And once again ...you shouldn't be depending on him to support you. If you are having health issues than try the government for help until you can get a job and support yourself.

Quoting lizz08:

Technically he did agree on not taking her to the beach because of the spring break. I have the messages. And he also denied and lied about the girl going with them when we have an agreement on that as well.

And I can't work. I had to quit my job because I was getting blackouts constantly. If not I'd still be out there working. And yes right now his daughter and I do depend on him financially. $225 and I make it last the whole month.


Quoting Two_Hearts:

Honestly? It sounds like you may be on a bit of a control struggle..

You 'told' him he couldn't take her somewhere on HIS time with her...there was no agreement.

It will look bad on you if you stop the visits..and keep the child away from the father, he wasn't necessarily putting her life in danger..and he IS her father, so he is able to protect her and make sure she was safe and what not while at the beach..

On the topic of the girl getting money but not you ...honestly, i would find a part time job that you can do ..just because you are pregnant does not mean you can not work, but i wouldnt be so dependant on him financially supporting YOU...that is not his job anymore, it is his job to HELP financially support the kids though.



Robsessed98
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:04 PM
1 mom liked this
As badly as you wantt to tell him where to take her or who she can't be around, you can't. Unless he places her in danger, he can go anywhere, and he can have her with another woman unless she is unfit. You have to let go of control when he has her. It's hard to do, but you have no choice. No, do not deny visitation. That will definitely go against you in court. Just find something to keep you busy while he has her and don't focus on it. After a few visits, you will relax a little and in time you will enjoy your free time. ((hugs))
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Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Where is this Spring Break where people are being killed all the time?
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