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Restraining order!

Posted by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 9:48 PM
  • 9 Replies
Does anyone have a restraining order on there child's father?
I need some advice on the scary situation.
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by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 9:48 PM
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Replies (1-9):
321.BAA
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 10:33 PM

Lol I want onè but I know you need good cause and they have to be reviewed every so often as well...also just because you get one on him it wouldn't mean he could not see his kid. This situation is very unique I need more information but that is what I have so far. Gl to you!

Amanda804
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 10:34 PM

I had one at one point, it's been expired for quite a few years, but he now knows that I wont hesitate to get one if need be

Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 11:39 PM
2 moms liked this

If he has actally threatened you, or assualted you or the kid, then its time to get one.

Mamavelt
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 8:59 AM
1 mom liked this
I have one. First I filed for an emergency dvro. My husband was not at the hearing. I was able to share enough with the court that concerned the judge and he issued the temporary to, which was in place for 3 weeks. Then we had another hearing and the order was made permanent- it is a five year order. My ex has visitation w kids, but it must be court supervised at the judges insistence. I guess I was being naive and trying to make things easy and said supervised by a mutually agreed on third party (friend or family), but the judge said no. He he has not seen kids since july when the order was issued- he also gets one phone call a week which I monitor and can end at my discretion.

Our situation is unique because ex has never hurt or directly threatened me or kids. This worried me because i was afraid i would not be able to prove the danger of the situation. My ex has struggled w mental illness and has had multiple psychotic episodes involving aggression and assaults, which have culminated in involuntary psych holds and police involvement. Because we were dealing w a volatile person w mental illness people who witnessed his behavior didn't want to get involved. The assault victims were either afraid or felt sorry for him and didn't press charges (even the officers who were injured declined to press charges from one incident when he assaulted them when they were trying to restrain him- my ex is a really big and strong guy and the lead investigator even confided that they were afraid of him)it was also difficult to get info because no charges were pressed there were no police reports and hippa privacy laws made getting access to med records more difficult. I could have subpoenaed the officers or other witnesses, but didn't have the money to depose them. Luckily I had enough documentation and information, but my suggestion would be to get as many verifiable records as possible that clearly illustrate your situation in a factual way. Try to minimize the emotion and the history of your relationship, and focus solely on the behavior and why it is dangerous/detrimental to you and your children.

Can you share more of your situation?

Also one thing that would have helped me- I hadn't been through anything like this before and would have liked to have been better prepared for questions the judge asked me once the order was approved, the judge asked me how long the order should be for: 6 months, 1 year,5 years? Try to give some thought to the long term objectives and implications of your request. Also think about custody, I hadn't realized we would determine the custody sched at this hearing. I was suddenly asked what day and hours would be best for visitation and the judge wanted a quick answer and I was suddenly trying to wrack my brain thinking what would be least disruptive for work and kid schedules.

Hope my rambling helped. Best of luck to you.
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steviechick
by Gold Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:06 AM

Had my daughter not been 18 when my ex and I divorced and when he continued to be mentally abusive to her I would made her get an RO against my ex.  Since he's been blocked from her cell phone and hasn't even tried to come talk to her at work, there isn't need for an RO.  Not all RO's are for phyisical violence.  Yes, threats have to be made, but in certain circumstances (like mine) an RO can be done.  My ex is a bully towards me and my daughter.  Has been for years.  Its gotten worse since our divorce.  So far he's left me and our daughter alone.  We are currently fighting him in court over the divorce agreement.  Since he's been a deadbeat to both of us we have no choice but to force him into court.   If I had a second child (minor) I wouldn't hesitate to get an RO on my ex.  He would be doing the same bully tactics to our minor child.  My ex needs therapy.  Just as long as he cuts off communication between me and my DD all we have is the court hearing and we will (hopefully) be done with his sorry ass.

Robsessed98
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:18 AM
I had one on a psycho bf years ago. It was easy and it got him out of our lives. Now they will extend them to cover contact by computer and posting shit about you too.
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easinpc
by Gold Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:30 AM
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I haven't but here's a bump.  Good luck!

nathhhalie
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:27 AM
I had a restraining order on him when I was 15 and my daughter was first born. He is a very aggressive person and we so have a domestic violonce past. But me being way to nice & young I dropped the 5year restraining order about a year into it. He seem to have changed. Started seeing Lilly when it was his parenting time, started pay child support, and stoped harassing me. In the past 6 months or so he has been showing sighns of how he usto act toward me. It all started with the mental abuse last time before it ever got physical. He hasn't shown any sighns of it toward my daughter but he is starting at me again.
Court in general scares me to death and I'd hate to go back again (as I'm sure you know, nothing happens overnight in court) I'm just not sure if I should go as far as reinstating the restraining order or just go for Full Custody and limit his visitation. It's so hard when my daughter loves him to death but has no idea the kind of person he is :/


Quoting Mamavelt:

I have one. First I filed for an emergency dvro. My husband was not at the hearing. I was able to share enough with the court that concerned the judge and he issued the temporary to, which was in place for 3 weeks. Then we had another hearing and the order was made permanent- it is a five year order. My ex has visitation w kids, but it must be court supervised at the judges insistence. I guess I was being naive and trying to make things easy and said supervised by a mutually agreed on third party (friend or family), but the judge said no. He he has not seen kids since july when the order was issued- he also gets one phone call a week which I monitor and can end at my discretion.



Our situation is unique because ex has never hurt or directly threatened me or kids. This worried me because i was afraid i would not be able to prove the danger of the situation. My ex has struggled w mental illness and has had multiple psychotic episodes involving aggression and assaults, which have culminated in involuntary psych holds and police involvement. Because we were dealing w a volatile person w mental illness people who witnessed his behavior didn't want to get involved. The assault victims were either afraid or felt sorry for him and didn't press charges (even the officers who were injured declined to press charges from one incident when he assaulted them when they were trying to restrain him- my ex is a really big and strong guy and the lead investigator even confided that they were afraid of him)it was also difficult to get info because no charges were pressed there were no police reports and hippa privacy laws made getting access to med records more difficult. I could have subpoenaed the officers or other witnesses, but didn't have the money to depose them. Luckily I had enough documentation and information, but my suggestion would be to get as many verifiable records as possible that clearly illustrate your situation in a factual way. Try to minimize the emotion and the history of your relationship, and focus solely on the behavior and why it is dangerous/detrimental to you and your children.



Can you share more of your situation?



Also one thing that would have helped me- I hadn't been through anything like this before and would have liked to have been better prepared for questions the judge asked me once the order was approved, the judge asked me how long the order should be for: 6 months, 1 year,5 years? Try to give some thought to the long term objectives and implications of your request. Also think about custody, I hadn't realized we would determine the custody sched at this hearing. I was suddenly asked what day and hours would be best for visitation and the judge wanted a quick answer and I was suddenly trying to wrack my brain thinking what would be least disruptive for work and kid schedules.



Hope my rambling helped. Best of luck to you.

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steviechick
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 10:53 AM
1 mom liked this

group hug

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