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Just a little flabbergasted.....

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And I dont know really what to think. My girls father wasn't ever stable, was very controlling, and etc... Well my now seven year old made accusations about him over a year ago, had a protection from abuse order put on him, but has expired last month. He finally got  a hold of me through facebook and pretty much told me he'd gladly sign his rights over just because he's happy, and doesn't have the energy to fight anymore. Which before hand the only reason we fought was because he'd threaten to take the girls away from me just because I'd have my neighbors watch them instead of someone who was certified (or because of something else stupid like that), and that would get me boiling. And I can understand him being concerned, but dont threaten to take my kids away from me.

Should I really see if he will sign over his rights? Or maybe I should just let the situation drop?

by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 9:21 PM
Replies (11-19):
Serenitymom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:45 PM


Quoting Oliviasmom72:

And it makes no sense to terminate rights but to allow him to see kids. If thats the case she could just waive all back support if he gave her permission to move.

I will not allow him to see the kids. Just merely contact them. I dont mind him giving up his rights for the mear fact of the allegations my daughter made against him. But if she chooses to still want to talk to him because she does not have any father figures in her life, then I will allow minimal contact.

Serenitymom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:49 PM

After what my daughter admitted in therapy, I dont want him having any rights. But my DD still says she wants to talk to him and I dont want to be that mother that keeps her DD from her father. I honestly dont care if he ever pays child support. I'm getting a college degree and going to be getting a good paying job anyway, plus its not like he's ever paid like he's supposed to anyway.

Quoting brieri:

 You can possbly try to ask him give up his rights not to pay you support but not necessaril have his rghts signed over as a father, this in essence says you will not allow him visitton.. This wll give yoou permenent custdy of the chidren and should anything happen to your children ,you are the sole parent to handlin them you canot ask him for any type of help or assistance.  And cannot apply for any type of assisance if you become unemployed. or welfare if need.


brieri
by Platinum Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:55 PM

 As long as he's the father- she may forgve him for whatever the issue is -  or when she becomes of age, father could be like somebdy  Iknow and keep very close tabs on her. And there will be nothing you can do about it. 

Quoheting Serenitymom:

After what my daughter admitted in therapy, I dont want him having any rights. But my DD still says she wants to talk to him and I dont want to be that mother that keeps her DD from her father. I honestly dont care if he ever pays child support. I'm getting a college degree and going to be getting a good paying job anyway, plus its not like he's ever paid like he's supposed to anyway.

Quoting brieri:

 You can possbly try to ask him give up his rights not to pay you support but not necessaril have his rghts signed over as a father, this in essence says you will not allow him visitton.. This wll give yoou permenent custdy of the chidren and should anything happen to your children ,you are the sole parent to handlin them you canot ask him for any type of help or assistance.  And cannot apply for any type of assisance if you become unemployed. or welfare if need.


 

Robsessed98
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 4:27 AM
If he's serious about it, he's the one who has to file the papers to try. Based on what he told you, I doubt a judge would allow it. It takes a lot to terminate parental rights. If it were that easy, many men would do it just to try and avoid paying support. Being happy is nowhere near legit cause. Forget he even said it until or unless you get notice from the court that he is trying.
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steviechick
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 9:57 AM

Not knowing the actual abuse that your ex has done to your child that would certainly determine if he was fit enough to have visitation rights.  Your ex has to file to terminate his rights.  And, since he already has a history of abuse, he has a case set up for himself.  All you can do is wait for the paperwork from the court.  He may be just playing mind games. 

easinpc
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 10:36 AM

Here's a bump for you!

Serenitymom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 6:08 PM

I'm not going to worry about that point and time. I'm worried about whats happening now. I've got many years before that point in time will come. Plus, he has already told me when they get older and contact him he's going to tell them "his side of the story" which he has already explained that he's going to tell them I'm a lair and how supposidly abusive I was, which makes absolutely no sense, how is he going to tell her how abusive I am when she's lived with me and I haven't abused her. Anyway, that was today's conversation. When she's older, I'm not really going to worry anyway, she will wind up seeing the person for who he is, controlling and manipulative and abusive, and wont want to live with him. He proved to me today he hasn't changed in four years, dont think he ever will. So when that day does come I'll deal with it then.

Right now, I'm going to keep my girls safe. Right now, they are not safe with him. So right now is what I'm going to deal with.

Quoting brieri:

 As long as he's the father- she may forgve him for whatever the issue is -  or when she becomes of age, father could be like somebdy  Iknow and keep very close tabs on her. And there will be nothing you can do about it. 

Quoheting Serenitymom:

After what my daughter admitted in therapy, I dont want him having any rights. But my DD still says she wants to talk to him and I dont want to be that mother that keeps her DD from her father. I honestly dont care if he ever pays child support. I'm getting a college degree and going to be getting a good paying job anyway, plus its not like he's ever paid like he's supposed to anyway.

Quoting brieri:

 You can possbly try to ask him give up his rights not to pay you support but not necessaril have his rghts signed over as a father, this in essence says you will not allow him visitton.. This wll give yoou permenent custdy of the chidren and should anything happen to your children ,you are the sole parent to handlin them you canot ask him for any type of help or assistance.  And cannot apply for any type of assisance if you become unemployed. or welfare if need.


 


Serenitymom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 6:13 PM

Well, there is a case against him from my daughter alligations too. But he's contempt that he doesn't want to deal with them at all so I know I can file abandonment if he doesn't have anything to do with them for atleast a year. I'll be talking to my daughters therapist more about this situation too.

Quoting Robsessed98:

If he's serious about it, he's the one who has to file the papers to try. Based on what he told you, I doubt a judge would allow it. It takes a lot to terminate parental rights. If it were that easy, many men would do it just to try and avoid paying support. Being happy is nowhere near legit cause. Forget he even said it until or unless you get notice from the court that he is trying.


Serenitymom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 6:17 PM

Very true, He very well be playing mind games.... He's always good about that. I should let him know about that. I may let the attourney know with the case that he wants to give up his rights, see if I can attach that to whatever outcome of the case ends up being. He may just tell him he needs to file it though. I dunno, we will see.

Quoting steviechick:

Not knowing the actual abuse that your ex has done to your child that would certainly determine if he was fit enough to have visitation rights.  Your ex has to file to terminate his rights.  And, since he already has a history of abuse, he has a case set up for himself.  All you can do is wait for the paperwork from the court.  He may be just playing mind games. 


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