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Single Moms Single Moms

Dating rules? *PIOG* *UPDATE*

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 Ok so this may seem like a crazy question but as far as dating goes when you 1st meet someone and decide to go out who should pay? I met a guy about 2 nights ago at work and we exchanged numbers and we've been texting off and on. He's 25, no kids, not married and he is a security supervisor for a company. Anyways, he texted me last night and asked me when we were going to chill so I'm thinking about going to the movies this weekend because I want to see Tyler Perry's new movie "Temptations:Cofessions of a Marriage Counselor"? We haven't made solid plans yet but I was wondering some  things?

Thing is I don't date or go out. I forgot how the rules work. Paying for things and just being a gf in general. We are just talking so we'll see where things go but I mean its been 8 yrs and I am not a 15 year old anymore you know? 1st outing should you go Dutch or the guy pay? I've never been comfortable with guys paying for stuff anyways because my mother taught me if you allow a guy to pay for things he'll expect something in return (anyone ever heard that?)

Does this post make any sense? lol I am sleep deprived after working all week and only sleep 2 or 3 hours a day. I should be sleeping right now but I got home this morning and took a 2 hour nap before clocking in and so now I'm not sleepy but 9pm comes quick so I guess I'll just lay down and rest my eyes or something? Thanks ladies.

UPDATE: So we ended up texting last night and I ended up texting him and asking him what his definition of "chilling" was and him if going to the movies was cool. He texted back with lol and of course. So we're on the same page I think.

Do people go to the movies on Sundays? He called me last night on my lunch break and we talked. He doesn't smoke or club and he only drinks socially. He doesn't have a FB and he has 2 jobs. He says he is a security supervisor and then he works for the Central Prison. I wonder why he has 2 jobs if he has no responsibilities? Maybe debt? IDK. I don't know enough about him to know if I want to go out tomorrow night but we'll see I guess.

by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:54 PM
Replies (21-30):
Ali32
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:36 AM
Still try to search for him on FB, may have a page.buoy can also Google his name to see of there is anything more you can learn about him if you are concerned that he isn't being truthful or somethr. But have fun and let us know how it goes!


Quoting SexyDiva19:

 So I ended up texting him and he told me what his last name was but my thing is how can I look up. I usually go straight for FB but he doesn't have one lol


Quoting Ali32:


Get his last name before you go anywhere with him. If he is hesitant to give you his last name, run. 


 


Quoting SexyDiva19:


 I know his first name not his last name. He says he doesn't have a FB because he had too much drama from people in his past and back home.


Quoting Ali32:


I think he should pay for the date but bring money just in case he doesn't. If he doesn't offer to pay I think that says something about his character.  If he works at a prison, there may be a good reason why he doesn't have a FB page. He may not want ex-inmates and/or their family to look him up or something. But it is still kind of strange that someone that age doesn't have one. Do you know his first and last name? 


 


 


 


 


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wendythewriter
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:53 AM

Look for him on Facebook. If you find that he DOES have a page, seriously rethink going out with him.

I would assume you're going Dutch for this, and if he offers to pay, then fine. Take your own car to get there, and when you leave to go home, make sure he doesn't follow you. I would also consider something that allows more interaction (so you can actually get to know each ohter a bit) and less time (so that if you are uncomfortable or discover that there's not really anything there, you're not stuck with him). Maybe coffee or appetizers at a restaurant. Claim you have something to do afterward to give yourself a plausible out.

musicalcat31
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:31 AM

were can u find a guy that will go out with a women that has a kid?

LilShamrock
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 9:18 AM
You go gal!!! We as single moms "chill" as we find the time.....so that can be morn, afternoon or whenever.

As everyone one else says, I'd take money along as just play it by ear. Enjoy the time and don't look it as a relationship, but just as some friendly adult time with a new friend that way you aren't placing expectations on him or yourself...

Have fun!
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Two_Hearts
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 9:32 AM

Maybe he has two jobs because he is saving up for a house..or a car..or maybe he just likes to have a good nest egg saved up for rainy days?

You can't really make any judgements until you get to know him better. 

I say go out and enjoy the movie and make your decision after spending some time with him.

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 9:37 AM
Just chill is not a date in my book. That is friends hanging out or a fwb
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grneyedormom
by Kendra on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:31 AM
1 mom liked this
I know lots of people who choose not to have FB, that's not a red flag for me at all. If you search for me on FB you won't find me and I have one. Because of my line of work, I'm locked up tight. As for the "date" take your own money and pay for yourself, if he offers to pay, you can say thank you and accept or choose to pay your own way at this point. Verbiage for dating has changed so much that "chill" for him might be "go out on a date." Who knows!
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sarahmiamaria
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:41 AM
The guy should pay, but you have money just in case. Don't forget to say thank you if he does pay :-P
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virginiamama71
by Carrie on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:23 PM
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I think if you have to put time into googling him and searching for him on FB after he said he did not use FB,  than maybe he is not the one for you.

He should be the one to tell you all about himself and this will happen over some time. 

Mamavelt
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 1:30 PM
Not having a fb is not a red flag- some people choose to be more private- not necessarily a bad thing. Especially true if he works in a prison, it could be unsafe to post personal info and pics. But, always safety first for you..I agree w earlier poster- last name is a must. Also, how well do you know this guy? Do you have any mutual friends or associates who can corroborate things he tells you? (I have been known to do background checks on dates).

Oh and if it is a date he pays, absolutely.
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