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Single Moms Single Moms

Advice???

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2007 at 12:34 PM
  • 8 Replies
I am the single mother of a beautiful 8 month old son.I am the one who is there all the time,his father only visits when it is easy for him. His family knows nothing about me or my son--needless to say, my son has 2 brothers ,grandparents,and other family that probably will never know about him.That is the least of my worries-my son is loved very much and Mom is always there to spend time with him. My thing is the loneliness--I have read several posts about this---how do you deal with it??? My family is 900 miles away and what few friends that I had all disappeared when I had my son because I couldn't go out partying with them anymore.I love my son more than anything in the world and don't want to parade people in and out of his life-but Mom needs some kind of outlet---
by on Dec. 18, 2007 at 12:34 PM
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elvir2babes
by on Dec. 18, 2007 at 12:38 PM
It does get very lonely! You are doing the right thing by trying to meet other moms through this site!
The road will be hard, I won't lie to you about that, but the rewards of seeing your child grow and prosper will be worth it!
Do you know where the other grandparents live? I would stop over there and let them know they have a grandchild, and see if they would like to meet him! Maybe they would love knowing they had him for a grandson! What do you know about them?


soflpnclvr
by on Dec. 18, 2007 at 12:40 PM

Quoting SpencersMom07:

I am the single mother of a beautiful 8 month old son.I am the one who is there all the time,his father only visits when it is easy for him. His family knows nothing about me or my son--needless to say, my son has 2 brothers ,grandparents,and other family that probably will never know about him.That is the least of my worries-my son is loved very much and Mom is always there to spend time with him. My thing is the loneliness--I have read several posts about this---how do you deal with it??? My family is 900 miles away and what few friends that I had all disappeared when I had my son because I couldn't go out partying with them anymore.I love my son more than anything in the world and don't want to parade people in and out of his life-but Mom needs some kind of outlet---
Why is it that your son's father's family knows nothing about it?  Maybe you should introduce them?  Have you thought about play dates with other mothers?  There are sites and boards even on here that you could post something on for looking for a play date and meet people on here.  Then you can get a play date going as well as meet other mothers.
SpencersMom07
by on Dec. 18, 2007 at 12:49 PM
His grandfather is an assistant prosecuting attorney for the town that they live in--he has custody of his two sons from a prior relationship but keeps telling me that he will tell them when he thinks the time is right--I have thought about sending the grandparents a letter with a picture of my son and letting them know that they have a grandson. I am not looking for financial support from them--family is a big thing to me and I just want my son to know his. I don't talk bad about his father and I let him come to visit him when he wants--when my son is older he can form his own opinion about his father---it gets kinda mind boggling when I tell someone about my story with his father---I mean this is the man who would not even entertain the idea of me putting him up for adoption because of not being in his life(liek he is now--ha ha)-but would help me pay for an abortion that was never an option to start with---
Just get really frustrated--have checked into support groups but it seems that if you are over the age of 25 then they don't exist---not to be mean or anything--but I need to relate to someone alittle older than that--
elvir2babes
by on Dec. 18, 2007 at 12:53 PM
Thanks for sharing that. You already have a good idea, to send that letter, maybe through certified mail. It is very important news!
Sounds like your son's father has something to hide from you!
Anyhow, you are doing your part by telling them they have a grandson, then the ball would be in their court. If they are nice people they will want to be in your son's life and know him.
I hope it all works out for you, let us know what you decide to do!

krisiebabe78
by on Dec. 18, 2007 at 1:00 PM
i was in a similar situation with my daughter's father. His family knew nothing of her until I contacted them. He also has a large family , however no ther kids. Even though he is not in her life, much, his family is a part of her life.

I would let them know, letter, email, or even a phone call.
youngwidow
by on Dec. 18, 2007 at 1:30 PM
Atleast as a single Mom I had my family near.  I went through that too.  Most people treated me as if pregnancy was contagious and the few friends I had left were busy with college and or bars.....things I could no longer do.  You need to find people in your situation and make new friends.  Two of my closest friends now are both 10 years older than me, but we have families in common and we've stayed close as our children have grown.  On another note, I also agree that you should let his family know about your son.  They have a right to a CHANCE to know and love him (and hopefully you too.)
Good luck to you!
newmom52907
by on Dec. 18, 2007 at 2:38 PM

Quoting SpencersMom07:

His grandfather is an assistant prosecuting attorney for the town that they live in--he has custody of his two sons from a prior relationship but keeps telling me that he will tell them when he thinks the time is right--I have thought about sending the grandparents a letter with a picture of my son and letting them know that they have a grandson. I am not looking for financial support from them--family is a big thing to me and I just want my son to know his. I don't talk bad about his father and I let him come to visit him when he wants--when my son is older he can form his own opinion about his father---it gets kinda mind boggling when I tell someone about my story with his father---I mean this is the man who would not even entertain the idea of me putting him up for adoption because of not being in his life(liek he is now--ha ha)-but would help me pay for an abortion that was never an option to start with---
Just get really frustrated--have checked into support groups but it seems that if you are over the age of 25 then they don't exist---not to be mean or anything--but I need to relate to someone alittle older than that--
This is what i did i called the dad of my child's father and left a message on his voicemail i'm sure it was a shocker. Hi i am Braeden's mother which is CHuck's baby and was wondering if you would like to see your grandson i got a instant call and visit. Mom however he told months later his dad and mom were divorced and i had no way to contact here she was remarried and in another state. She was pi**ed when she found out he was almost 6 months she still will not let him forget she missed out on all that time. She is great grandpa however is a bit of his rocker. LOL He is a partying type and not someone i need in my son's life. But his mom is great.
MOMMYBATMAN
by on Dec. 19, 2007 at 12:51 PM
I find it rather funny because when I read this I felt like I had written it! I am feeling the same way. My sons father only comes by when it is a good time for him. His family never comes to visit their grandson even when I have told them to come! My son is actually afraid of them! isnt that crazy! Well keep your head up girl I know things will get better. My way of dealing with it is to go toschool and provide a good life for my son. since i know his father wont. being a mom should be good enough. I wish I had someone to share the joys of being a mom with but I dont. I dont even have friends because they think I am boreing. I dont go out and party like my old friends but I will be damned if I am going to let them make me feel bad for being a good mom! Keep your chin up and love that boy to the fullest!!!!
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