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Am I wrong?

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:07 PM
  • 10 Replies
I had my son on the 19th of march. I have a restraining order against his father and before me and him split ways I told him I cheated on him and his son wasn't really his(which was a lie its 100% his) but I had a good reason for it. Shortly after we found out I was pregnant he developed schizophrenia and became insane and severely controlling and abusive. I stayed with him a few months after it started trying to help and fix him but he refused help. He'd say there was no help then id find him help and he'd make up excuses not to go he wouldn't try to fix himself and he gambled away all our money and complained he was sick but wouldn't do anything about it. I finally realized I couldn't have my son around him and have him see his father beat me repeatedly and beat him up as well. Anyways I've been having dreams lately of his father trying hard to see him and crying holding him and he's a changed man in the dreams. I know he hasn't changed he's still the same man but still these dreams are making me so guilty feeling. Am I a bad erson for keeping him away from his son and telling him he isn't the father so hell stay away?
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by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:07 PM
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by Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:32 PM

Nope.  Not wrong it my book.  Good for you to cya.

Now change your avatar and delete this post.  You wouldn't want someone he knows stumbling upon this and outing you.

Good luck in your future.  You've done the right thing.

by Carrie on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:01 PM

 Both could benefit from some counseling.

by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:17 PM

april foolsHi and welcome to the group.

No answers. 

by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:20 PM


by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:24 PM

Nope- you are doing the right thing- keep your baby safe.  My ex FIL is a twack job and if I had known then what I know now- I'd have done the same thing you have with NO regrets!  My ex FIL molested my DD and nothing I can do now will change that.  You have protected your child and that is the best thing we can do as moms- it's our job!

by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:43 PM

I would continue to take care of my child.  Only worry about him and my well being.  Your bf is someome who should stay far away from you and  your son.  He's a danger to others as well.  Don't feel bad about your feelings.  You did the right thing.

by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 4:44 PM

Adult onset schizophrenia is usually set off by a traumatic experience.  It is very rough to deal with I know. Even with meds it is touchy, My family member couldn't remember if he took his meds. He would also overdose accidentally. Many times. Also they aren't supposed to drink alcohol with the meds. He does. He loses control and ends up getting locked up for violence. He hasn't severely hurt anyone yet, but I sure don't trust him.

If you were married you could sign for a 72 hour mental hold. One of his family members could too.

We all wish people would be the best we see in them. He is not going to be, especially since he won't get help.

If it was me, I would keep the baby far from him.  

by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 5:45 PM

Hi there, friend.  I'm so sorry about all you've been through - it can't be easy.  It sounds like you want to do what's best for your precious child.  Do you have a good support system nearby who can guide you in navigating these difficult issues? 

You sound like a really caring and conscientious mom.  I'll be praying for you, that you'll find the wisdom you're seeking.  Take care of yourself and let us know how you're doing. 


by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 9:54 PM
It was really immature for you to tell him baby wasn't his but that is already done. You can keep the father anonymous as long as you do not File for welfare or food stamps. If the baby is on Medicaid you may have to identify file. It's tough doing it on your own financially and you cannot file for assistance. If he never comes around and you never have to identify father then it might work out.
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:15 PM
Yes, you were 100% wrong to lie and deny him his child. Has the schizophrenia been diagnosed by a Dr or you? Mentally ill people have just as much right as the sane do to know they have a child. You should at least let him know, and if he wants to see the child, arrange for someone other than you to supervise. Make him understand he cannot have unsupervised visits until he gets some help. Its possible that may be what gets him to seek the help he needs.
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