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Another Single Mom and Dating Question

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 11:20 PM
  • 11 Replies
1 mom liked this

So, us single moms - if you are anything like me, you enjoy the freedom of raising your child the way you feel is best, you enjoy going and coming as you please (generally), and you enjoy your own space. BUT there's another part of you that desires the companionship, someone who can help you take on the responsibility of tending to the children; someone who can be that male role model in the house. Someone who will complete the 'family.'

Ok, with that said, do you think you are mentally and emtionally strong or capable to handle having a man in your life and still focus on raising your children?

Do you think if a man came along in your life now, you would be able to juggle the two?

Is part of the reason you have not dated is because you want to keep the focus on your children b/c you know that if a man comes along, it will get too complicated? (well, i guess you know my answer since I asked the question)..

 

by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 11:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Musiq_Junkie
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 11:30 PM
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Well i believe if a man is being a man, u shouldnt have to feel as if ur juggling between him & the kid(s). U shouldnt feel as if he's a burden i think....especially if he's helping raise the kid(s) it should be more like a weight lifted? Jmo...never really thought deeply about it.
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ChgIsGood2012
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 11:34 PM
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Quoting Musiq_Junkie:

Well i believe if a man is being a man, u shouldnt have to feel as if ur juggling between him & the kid(s). U shouldnt feel as if he's a burden i think....especially if he's helping raise the kid(s) it should be more like a weight lifted? Jmo...never really thought deeply about it.


 I agree with what. you said; I just know my weaknesses, and while i have come a long way, I would not want to get so caught up in a man that my son is ever 2nd place. Sometimes, thats why I just choose not to date; plus right now I am enjoying my life and learning so much, but I was just wondering. Actually, I don't think i'm that weak anymore. But I don't get too ahead of myself. I met a nice guy at work, and I still have yet to call him because I want to make sure this is something I am read to explore; and since I'm not ready, we just keep it hello and a chat at work.  :-)

easinpc
by Gold Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:11 AM

I have dated off and on since my sons dad and I split up and here lately am finding my self almost being happier alone.  Granted if the right guy came along I would be open to a relationship but right now the ones I'm meeting seem to just be to much drama/stress and its not worth it to me lol.

Robsessed98
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:29 AM
I was always happy doing it all alone and never really wanted another man involved in taking care of them. When I dated, I kept my personal life separate from my family life. I got married 3 years ago, but he knew beforehand that he wouldn't have any role in dd's parenting - that was solely for me and the ex to do. We are now separated and will be divorced eventually, so for now I'm back to being good on my own and my family knows nothing about my fwb, even though they are now grown, and it will stay that way.
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Stephd710
by Silver Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:03 PM

Ive been dating for a little over a year.  I usually go out on the weekends my girls go with their father.  It hasnt gotten serious enough with any of them to meet and spend time with the kids yet.  I think i can juggle it just fine as long as the guy understands that my children come first. 

MommyAJ2921
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:10 PM
1 mom liked this

The ink just dried on my divorce decree...I'm not remotely interested in dating. My hands are full with my sons.

steviechick
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:23 PM
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I haven't met anyone since my ex and I divorced.  I'm not into dating on-line.  I don't want to go through a dozen guys just to be let down by each one of them.  I know I can take a chance, but I'm not just not willing to do that after being married and miserable for most of the 26 yrs I was married.  I want a man opposite then my ex - at least I know what I want.  Until I meet Mr. Right, I'm going to just enjoy the free time I have.  Spend time with my friends and stay busy with my daughter.  She doesn't have very many friends and I know she is still working on her feelings of being abandoned by her father.  I think we both need to get to a point where we can finally move on with our lives.  Perhaps that big move is in order sooner then we think. 

Maman9
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:01 PM

Always put you and your child or chldren first. Get to know the "date" very well before a second date or relationship. Do not go from a bad ex-husband to a worse date. Actualy, I am widowed and divorced, no children with the fine first husband, and one with my ex-(non-abusive, but  cheater).

I erred on the side of caution by not having men around my daughter, strangers, a lot of sleepovers, etc. I worked so only my little money could support us, even while the child support was pendng.

ChgIsGood2012
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:09 PM
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Thanks ladies. I definitely not put any one before my son. But I have been around long enough to know the importance of building a new relationship. I just have so many thoughts running through my mind, that I thought I might ask. My son is the most important person in my life and depends on me. I have done enough in my life to put him at danger. All I can do is thank God for protecting us. So, from this point forward, I am more careful and mindful. So I am going to take some of this advice and keep taking it slow. It's not natural for me, but it seems to work, LOL.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:13 PM
I'm happier alone too much stress and drama and I would miss out on too much with my skn
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