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Custody battle. So scared and worried!

Posted by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 4:01 AM
  • 18 Replies
1 mom liked this

First, Hi Everyone!,

My name is Sal and this is the first time here. I am currently going through a custody battle with my 8 month old daughter's father. He left me and moved to Las Vegas when I was 3 months pregnant (I live in Los Angeles) claiming he wanted nothing to do with the baby or me. Once my daughter was born I filed for Child Support, we went to the Child support hearing 7 months later (last month) and now the father is upset on amount he is ordered to pay. He makes good money, has no other children, even made 80 thousand last yr. Now he claims his income has lowered (has only been a month since CS order was implemented and has not been garnished as of yet) and has decided to file for custody and visitations with his main purpose being to lower his CS amount. He is asking for every other weekend overnights out of state (to start immediately), 50/50 custody, for me to pay half the traveling cost + pick up baby from vegas myself, and alternate holidays/bday's. My daughter is 8 months now and he has only seen her 2 times when she was 6 1/2 months then again when she had turned 7 months. Both times I was present and my daughter would cry half the time if left alone with him. I want my daughter to have a father in her life and in no way am i preventing him from forming a relationship with my daughter however I truly believe his intentions are not to benefit her but him. I have tried to be civil and even coming to an agreement where he can take her once baby is comfortable around him alone and adjusted to him, but he refuses to agree stating " no chance i cant afford that ". Whatever that means! (yes it all comes down to CS). Im worried for my daughter's sake. I have hired a lawyer but I am still worried with this being my first time in this situation. Has anybody been through this situation before? What am I looking forward to? What is the most likely end result in my case?Does he have a chance to get granted what he is asking for? Any answer's would be greatly helpful. Thank you guys!!!!!

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 4:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Apr. 2, 2013 at 5:59 AM
Welcome and good luck!! *hugs*
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LauraMH
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:13 AM
Welcome to the group! Sorry you are going through all this. I know it's easier said than done but try not to stress out too much. Odds are he will get some sort of visitation with her but not nearly as much as he is requesting.
I don't know the while situation but it does sound like he is doing this out of spite. Make sure you document any time you have given him an alternate schedule so you can show in court that you are trying but he refused. The judge will probably not grant that much visitation for someone who lives in another state and has no relationship with her. I do think that the judge will want them to build some type of relationship and you may be required to pay for a portion I the transportation cost. The good news with that is, if he is just doing this for child support and he doesn't get what he wants then be may not stick to it at all.
I know custody situations are scary but just hold your head up and continue to do what is right for your baby. It's a long stressful process but worth it to have it all in writing. Good luck hun.
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:19 AM
2 moms liked this
If he moved away knowing you were pregnant I don't think you'll have to pay part of travel costs.

I'm not sure about where you live but most places don't agree to overnight visits with such a young child, especially in a situation where the dad has no relationship with the child.

He's trying to bully you into reducing child support. Stand your ground.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:49 AM
Welcome! He made the decision to move he pays travel usually and overnights probably wouldn't happen with that distance for a long time
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easinpc
by Gold Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:09 AM
Welcome!
mommyRojo
by Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:02 AM

If he hasn't made the effort to see your daughter often then I don think he has much of a fight. My ex used to make threats, but when it came down to it and I stood up to him and wasn't scared, he backed down and in the end doesn't want me son more then he sees him now which is 2 times a month. (we live 3hrs apart)


Robsessed98
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:45 AM
Welcome to the group. Let him gripe all he wants about the amount of cs. If its court ordered, the formula used to calculate it leaves him enough to live on. Make sure his check will be garnished instead of depending on him to send it in. I wouldn't worry about the custody issue either. Based on the fact he's only bothered to see her twice and that he moved away from her, I doubt he will get 50/50. He will be allowed visitation, but whether or not he takes it is on him. He will pay cs either way.
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MommyAJ2921
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:18 AM

Appreciate all the answers ladies. I'm gearing up to make some changings to my custody arrangements. I will NOT back down.

Sisi31
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:00 PM
Thank you all for the quick replies. Gives me some comfort hearing from other mothers regardless of the outcome. Yes it is so hard and emotionally draining. Not really the part of the father fighting custody/visitations BUT his reason behind it. Knowing his main purpose is being fuled by $, concerns me in regards to my daughters well being since he has not even tried forming a relationship with her as of yet. He has made an efford numerous times to initiate the 3 1/2- 4 hour drive to file paperwork in court, yet somehow can not find the time or make the same effort to make the drive to come visit his daughter but twice. Even stated " this is not about her its about me paying". Makes me so sad and angry........Well ladies I found out from my lawyer that court hearing/mediation is set for end of May. Fingers crossed!. Any preyers send out my way would be greatly appreciated. I will update soon enough. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT!!!!!!
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MommyAJ2921
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:18 PM
2 moms liked this

 "Any prayers sent out my way would be greatly appreciated."

Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the thoughts I think toward you saith the Lord, thoughts of good and not of evil, to give you a hope and a future and an expected end."

Praying the Father's peace, love, presence and protection be with you as you go through this. Praising Him now for the victory.

Looking forward to the update!!!


Quoting Sisi31:

Thank you all for the quick replies. Gives me some comfort hearing from other mothers regardless of the outcome. Yes it is so hard and emotionally draining. Not really the part of the father fighting custody/visitations BUT his reason behind it. Knowing his main purpose is being fuled by $, concerns me in regards to my daughters well being since he has not even tried forming a relationship with her as of yet. He has made an efford numerous times to initiate the 3 1/2- 4 hour drive to file paperwork in court, yet somehow can not find the time or make the same effort to make the drive to come visit his daughter but twice. Even stated " this is not about her its about me paying". Makes me so sad and angry........Well ladies I found out from my lawyer that court hearing/mediation is set for end of May. Fingers crossed!. Any preyers send out my way would be greatly appreciated. I will update soon enough. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT!!!!!!


 

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