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Need to vent

Posted by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:27 PM
  • 5 Replies
1 mom liked this

I just gotta let it out for a minute.  I'm talking to lawyers about trying to get full custody of my son.  His dad is absent.  Technically, he fits the criteria for abandonment in my state.  I can't find an attorney who will take the case.  Correction... I found one who wants a $7500 retainer.  

It's a solid case.  Ex hasn't made any  effort to see my son since Christmas, and my son couldn't go since he was sick.  Before that, we didn't hear from him since a couple weeks after he forgot my son's birthday.  He's $6650 in arrears on CS plus medical.  He just comes and goes as he pleases.  The lawyers tell me the court will never go for full custody because I should be trying harder to get him to see my son and their estrangement is my fault too.  I did that for 2 years and it was 2 years of disappointments.  He'd promise things and time that he never followed through on.  He stopped answering calls so I stopped making them.  And why is this all on ME?  Is he incapable of picking up a phone?!  Is he incapable of setting an appointment on his calendar on his smart phone to remind him to call his own son on his birthday?!  

The attorney's have told me the state thinks any unstable and infrequent communication with the estranged parent is better than nothing.  I disagree.  Psychologists all over the world disagree.  Teachers and daycare providers disagree.  Best interest of the child my ass.  The state is more concerned about protecting deadbeat parents and their "rights" than the rights of the child.  

And this business in Florida about each parent getting 50% legal custody?!  I don't understand why judges aren't protecting the custodial parents.  I am the one who provides for my child when the child support stops, who takes my child to every doctor's appointment, karate lesson 6 days a week and competitions, to school every day, and wherever else he needs to go.  Why can my ex pop in twice a year and have any sort of legal ground to stand on that he disagrees with this or that and disrupts my son's life?  My son doesn't want to go with a stranger for a week and suddenly I'm faced with the very real possibility of jail.  It's all bullshit.


I'm so fired up about this, I feel like I could start a national movement to cut the bullshit on competent parents.  WHO IS WITH ME?!

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:27 PM
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Replies (1-5):
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:12 PM
In sorry it's pretty shitty vent away
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Musiq_Junkie
by Bronze Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:36 PM
Yeah ITA!!!somethin needs to be done about the system! Here in NM its 3 months without communication & money for the child is neglect. I want my ex to sign over his rights but i think here someone has to step in as the second parent. I think its total bull becuz he's never met her & she just turned 1! Not only have i extended invitations for visitations, but so has my parents (so we wouldnt have to cross paths).
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quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 12:25 AM
In Florida there is no time requirement. Just that the NCP hasn't adequately established or maintained a meaningful relationship. tPS here is impossible without a step parent. I don't get it, I already do all the work of a second parent and provide all the financial support! I AM the second parent too!!!


Quoting Musiq_Junkie:

Yeah ITA!!!somethin needs to be done about the system! Here in NM its 3 months without communication & money for the child is neglect. I want my ex to sign over his rights but i think here someone has to step in as the second parent. I think its total bull becuz he's never met her & she just turned 1! Not only have i extended invitations for visitations, but so has my parents (so we wouldnt have to cross paths).

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Musiq_Junkie
by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:46 AM
Right! Thats my thing too! I wish there was like a petition to amend child support & custody laws...its a disgrace smh.


Quoting quickbooksworm:

In Florida there is no time requirement. Just that the NCP hasn't adequately established or maintained a meaningful relationship. tPS here is impossible without a step parent. I don't get it, I already do all the work of a second parent and provide all the financial support! I AM the second parent too!!!




Quoting Musiq_Junkie:

Yeah ITA!!!somethin needs to be done about the system! Here in NM its 3 months without communication & money for the child is neglect. I want my ex to sign over his rights but i think here someone has to step in as the second parent. I think its total bull becuz he's never met her & she just turned 1! Not only have i extended invitations for visitations, but so has my parents (so we wouldnt have to cross paths).


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easinpc
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:14 AM

Hugs!

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