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My Real-Life Soap Opera Nightmare

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Hi. I never thought my life would end up this way.
I met my husband on a dating website Christmas Eve of 2010. We were pretty much inseparable from that day. We felt strongly toward one another & he expressed the desire to get married. 5 mos later, we did. 3 days after our wedding, b4 we'd even moved in 2gether, I get a phone call @ my house from 2 women on a 3-way call. One of them, I was familiar with. She was his ex-fiancé who cheated on him w/his cousin & had been stalking him ever since (6 yrs!). The other, I'd never heard of. They told me my husband had been w/both of them & that he never mentioned me or that he was married. The mystery girl even said, "I'm his daughter's mother." I knew ONLY of my husband's 10yr-old he'd had in HS, but this one was new. Fast-forward to a few mos later, we're in court w/this girl & getting a paternity test. Turned out the baby was his. He'd admitted b4 the test was done that he'd slept w/this girl a month b4 we wed. It crushed me; yet I forgave him. Not long after, amongst all the drama, I learned I was pregnant. I felt trapped. I couldn't divorce now! I'd be all alone w/a baby. So I stayed. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He begged for my forgiveness. He swore he'd never make that mistake again. Fast-forward to April 9th, 2012. I had just given birth to our baby girl 3 wks ago. Then I got a disturbing, scary phone call from a hospital. My husband had been in a motorcycle accident & was hurt severely. I raced to the hospital w/my MIL (mom-in-law). He was so banged up. The (heart) surgeon came to me & warned me that my husband's injuries were grave, & that most patients don't make it to the hospital alive, less than 18%, to be exact. So, the fact that he'd survived that long was a good sign, but there was still a 50/50 chance w/the surgery. He had a torn aorta, among other life-threatening injuries. The surgery was a success (lotsa prayer) & he eventually came home, after 2 mos of recovery & phys therapy. He came home in mid June & went back to work in Dec of 2012. During this time, I was "holding down the fort", paying all our living expenses & all the baby expenses (daycare, clothes, diapers, etc). Fast-fwd to Feb 11th, 2013. I get a txt from work saying to call "Krystal". Assuming it was someone from work w/that name, I immediately returned the call w/my husband sitting next to me. That call changed my whole life. It was ANOTHER woman saying she had a baby (2-mos-old) by my husband. She claimed the baby was conceived (get this) April 8th, 2012. So, 3 wks after I gave birth, my husband had stepped out on me, AGAIN. I was devastated... & too through. I immediately kicked him out. I called my father & he sent the cavalry (his mom, aunt & sister) to me, along w/my stepmom for support. All my husband's fam (mom, grandmom & 2 aunts) live in the local area, so I was alone. So, fast fwd to today. I got a lawyer, started divorce proceedings, & had him come sign them @ my lawyer's office. It's been a month & he's done NOTHING to contribute financially to raising our daughter, & he hasn't visited her ONCE. Yet, he refused when I asked him to give up his parental rights. His reason was he'd be giving up visitation. (???!!!) I married a dang narcissist, a liar, a cheat & a con. I'm so ashamed & embarassed... & lonely. So I joined this site, hoping to find some relief, some support... I'm having a lot of trouble emotionally dealing w/this situation. I just need someone to talk to. Thanks for listening (reading). Apologies for the novel.
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by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:42 PM
Replies (11-15):
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 10:12 AM


Quoting CEOPotts:

What on earth is WRONG with these men?  What kind of woman raised them?  What kind of father did they have if any?  I mean dang, they don't even care that they're ruining these kids' lives, too.  Robbing them of having a complete family; of having a father in their lives; siblings they can grow up with, not just come and visit on occasion.  Smh.  Some men shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.

I had a long talk with my ex-IL's about my ex's behavior.  I found out that he's been lying since he was in the 2nd grade, had a lot of adolescent problems and even moved out when he was 16 yrs old.  His father pushed him to get a GED and then had him join the military because he was so worried about the direction his own son was headed.   What my ex-IL's failed to do was to actually DO something when my ex was younger.  They ignored the problem more or less and only talked to my ex about his bad behavior.  They didn't do enough to help my ex.  He grew up to be a total loser and scumbag in life.  He had so much potential but threw it all away because he is so screwed up.  My ex-IL's are good, Christian people.  They have strong values but were lousy parents.  My ex could care less about me and he could care less about his own flesh and blood.  I should have known he was a lousy catch.  He had already walked out on a child he had with another woman.  Yes, some men shouldn't even be allowed to reproduce.  My ex is one of them.  He now has two more kids at his age (53) to raise and financially support.  He will end up screwing up their lives, too.  They never asked to be born and they certainly never had a chance to choose who their father would be.  I truly feel sorry for those kids.

by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 9:39 PM

So effing sad. :-(

by on May. 27, 2013 at 9:19 PM

UPDATE:  I am now officially divorced.

by on May. 27, 2013 at 9:30 PM
This has been terrible for you!!! Divorce him and don't look back - file for child support immediately and plan your future every step of the way and despite any setbacks, your life will be better than it is today. Good luck.
by on May. 27, 2013 at 10:30 PM

For a full update, feel free to read "Soap Opera Nightmare Part II".  It gets worse, believe it or not.  :-(

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