Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

new here-- my story *rediculously long*

Posted by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:06 PM
  • 17 Replies
1 mom liked this
Hello ladies,

I joined here a week or so ago but I need to introduce myself.
My name is Alyssa, I'm 23, I'm from texas and nearly 24 weeks with my first child (a son)

I met my ex in june 2010 and god was I an idiot from the beginning. By august we were together and he had seperated from his ex that had a bby in may.. not biologically his child but all the same. I believed his story that he was miserable and that he just didn't love her anymore. But that didn't stop him rom screwing her... in my car with the baby present. (Yea I'm an idiot)

Skipping forward (bc there is too much lol) to feb 2012 we got married. I caught him cheating again in nov and I forgave him and I had major surgery in jan to remove an enormous ovarian cyst. Things were better than ever.... for a month. He finally got a job and was sleeping with a girl rom there... who possibly just had his baby in feb.

Finally in june I left. Because I discovered then that he had had that affair and another girl, an ex, told me I needed to readtheir messages and gave me her password.. along with that he finally decided to play daddy to the little girl from the beginning.. whom He never attempted to see (even though I urged him) until june... but that apparently meant staying over in an empty house until 4am or later. I filed for divorce the next day.

So I left and was happy, but then in oct. We both ended up living in the same place. (With sil, we had become super close and his ex kicked him out) well he promised to be better and blah blah blah... I figured we would just have a good time for a little while and then move on.

Well... sure enough after TWO yrs of no protection during sex I end up pregnant that first montg. I knew things weren't good. But I wanted to give my child a chance for a whole family. We still struggled and he was still playing dad (I'm sorry I don't count "babysitting" your "daughrer" a couple of hrs a week being a parent)

Well then in jan I found oyt SHE was pregnant and had been the whole time. I was so hurt and our relationship just went down hill from there. He wanted to spend on day ith her the next with me.. saying that was a "fair" devision of his time (uh what?)

I always suspeted nothing more, attempting to leave more than once and on more than one occassion that ended up me being literally thrwon to the ground and held there even though I waz screaming for help and hyperventalating. (No one did) he had Never been like that before I was pregnant.

The only thing I gave him a rule on when it came to our child is that if he cheated... again he would have zero involvement in our sons life. I would not have my son believing that this was an ok way to treat women. I couldn't do it. Of course he was beyound pissed.

Well who would have guessed.... he was sleeping with the ex the entire time. I figured but did not get proof until last week. Witg him and his silver tongue I needed solid proof. So I told him to leave or I would and he chose to move straight back in with her.

So after a loooonnnngggg story I'm going to raise my son alone. He apparently doesn't want a thing to do with me and doesn't want to be involved until the birth in which I informed him he probably wouldn't be invited to in which he threatened to destroy my life.

I'm scared on how to raise a child alone and how I'm going to keep my son free of all of this toxic situation. I know I made my bed and I'll have to lie in it. But my son is innocent and its my job to keep him safe. From here on out what would you do? I'm due in july and need to get my ducks in a row.

I'm sorry I wrote a book and on my tablet eo sorry for typos. Any advice is appreciated!!!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:06 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
brieri
by Platinum Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:47 PM

 Hi Alyssa, welcome to the group.

It sounds like you have made up your mind about what you are going to do, ggod luck.

 

ajohnson08099
by Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:50 PM
Thanks

Quoting brieri:

 Hi Alyssa, welcome to the group.


It sounds like you have made up your mind about what you are going to do, ggod luck.


 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
breebree04
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:02 PM

You will be fine! Its scary at first being a single mom but you adjust and so do the children. but just alittle fyi: unfortunately you cant keep his baby from him because he is a cheater. He may walk away and not want anything to do with the baby but if he takes you to court once the baby is born he will get visitation. I would try to take this time (before baby is born) to move on and get over him so when the baby is born you can try to have a co parent relationship with him without the drama and hurt feelings from the past relationship interfering with that.

ajohnson08099
by Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:23 PM
Right I understand that. There are other factors not on his side.. but yea..

I'm more concerned about protecting my son from the people he is around and where he has chosen to live. One child has alreay beenremoved out of that home because it is unacceptable.

More that just proved to me he didn't care. He doesn't care now about me or my son. Which is fine I guess.

But he will not get the weird arrangement he wants of taking a newborn whereever with whoever. He thinks I'm weak because he could do what he wanted or push me around. And he's wrong. I will fight tooth and nail for my child and what is best... not because of anger or resentment.


Quoting breebree04:

You will be fine! Its scary at first being a single mom but you adjust and so do the children. but just alittle fyi: unfortunately you cant keep his baby from him because he is a cheater. He may walk away and not want anything to do with the baby but if he takes you to court once the baby is born he will get visitation. I would try to take this time (before baby is born) to move on and get over him so when the baby is born you can try to have a co parent relationship with him without the drama and hurt feelings from the past relationship interfering with that.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
breebree04
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:35 PM

 thats good. you should protect your child, already thinking like a good mama :) Im with you on not letting him take your newborn anywhere! Maybe he will just leave you guys alone and you wont have to deal with the fighting in court.  Good Luck


Quoting ajohnson08099:

Right I understand that. There are other factors not on his side.. but yea..

I'm more concerned about protecting my son from the people he is around and where he has chosen to live. One child has alreay beenremoved out of that home because it is unacceptable.

More that just proved to me he didn't care. He doesn't care now about me or my son. Which is fine I guess.

But he will not get the weird arrangement he wants of taking a newborn whereever with whoever. He thinks I'm weak because he could do what he wanted or push me around. And he's wrong. I will fight tooth and nail for my child and what is best... not because of anger or resentment.

 


 

ajohnson08099
by Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:39 PM
Thanks. Maybe. He likes the idea of being dad but not the realities.

Quoting breebree04:

 thats good. you should protect your child, already thinking like a good mama :) Im with you on not letting him take your newborn anywhere! Maybe he will just leave you guys alone and you wont have to deal with the fighting in court.  Good Luck




Quoting ajohnson08099:

Right I understand that. There are other factors not on his side.. but yea..

I'm more concerned about protecting my son from the people he is around and where he has chosen to live. One child has alreay beenremoved out of that home because it is unacceptable.

More that just proved to me he didn't care. He doesn't care now about me or my son. Which is fine I guess.

But he will not get the weird arrangement he wants of taking a newborn whereever with whoever. He thinks I'm weak because he could do what he wanted or push me around. And he's wrong. I will fight tooth and nail for my child and what is best... not because of anger or resentment.


 



 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Litlmama87
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:44 PM
Nobody gives a fuck about STDs these days.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
arkmomma06
by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:45 PM

Welcome to the group


Good luck 

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:50 PM

Welcome!!  So sorry you had to go through all this!

ajohnson08099
by Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:51 PM
Umm what's that in reference to exactly?

Quoting Litlmama87:

Nobody gives a fuck about STDs these days.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)