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Child father secretly married and had child

Posted by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 6:24 PM
  • 7 Replies
My 5yr old daughter's father decided to tell me in Feb. that he had gotten married in last Nov. this was shocking to me. The reason is we were always helping each other out, even though we weren't in a relationship. if he didnt have money to give for his daughter. i would take care of things or when my car was broken he would let me use his. We even went to Orlando, fl as a family last May. He was suppose to help me financially move into a house later that year. But when it was time he said that he wasn't and if his daughter needed somewhere to stay she could stay with him. I asked him if he had a problem with me and he said no. So of course from that point on the helping each other stopped and he stopped coming around and calling his daughter. So 2 months ago he started back calling and wanting to due fun things with his daughter. And that's when he told me about the marriage. 1 month later he told me that she was pregnant that morning and that afternoon she had the baby. I asked him who was she and has our daughter been around her or the baby and he said no. He has told me lie after lie about her name and where she works. Of course I want to meet her but he acts as if he doesn't want me or our daughter to. At this point I feel as I if need to put him on CS and file for custody. so, that our daughter came be taking care of during those times when he decides that he does not have the money or time. I'm I wrong for wanting to put him on CS and file for custody?
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by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 6:24 PM
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by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 6:26 PM
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You should have in the first place. Do it now to protect your child
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by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 8:38 PM
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I would absolutely file immediately.  And it would surprise me if the Mrs. knows that you or your dd even exists!

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 8:47 PM

I'm not in that situation,but i have alot of family who has. It is a constant issue for women in general and i feel that thier is no part time parent. don't believe in it,he was actively in your child's life til those 2 months came along and just cause hes married doesn't change the situation. He went about it wrong and if he would have sat down and included you it could have turned out diffrents. Screw it and get yours because he looking out for him and his girl and new baby,look out for yourself and yours. Don't push yourself back and what you need to piity someone who didn't have a thought about what you or your child needed. So be civil and keep it moving,let the court handle it.

by Tina on Apr. 4, 2013 at 10:11 PM

I would def file....even if you don't need the money to raise your child, you can open a savings account for them. 

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 10:19 PM
No your not wrong, you need to formalize the arrangement of visitation and support since you are no longer together, not sure why you would like to meet his new wife, if he hasn't brought her up maybe she is not comfortable with that, you should take a step back and just concentrate on you and your child. You need some privacy and he needs his privacy and communication between the two of you should be about your daughter, good luck to you
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 12:02 AM
The only reason I wanted to meet her was to at least get to know her since she wili/would have been been around our daughter. i most definitely will go in the morning to start the CS and Custody papers. Thanks
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by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:35 PM
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My ex kept his three affair from me and two kids he had out of wedlock a secret.  He did this simply because he was in the National Guard and was active duty.  Had the CO found out about the adultery my 'beloved' DH would have been kicked out of the guard.  I'm sure he told the tramp that he and I were separated and I was being 'difficult' about getting a divorce.  Why would someone go along with sneaking around with a married man and having two children with him is beyond my comprehension. 

You are not wrong in wanting what is best for you and your child.  Formalize the custody rights and child support now.  Get it legally done in the courts ASAP.  Your BD has to pay chiild support.  It's the law.  If he wants visitation rights he has to agree to them or simply give up his rights as a father.  The CS will have to continue until your child is 18.  Forget about this loser.  He's a liar and sneak (just like my ex).  He will be for the rest of his life. 

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