this was a hard thing to deal with and it's was even harder on my kids, I thought I had love but it was all a lie and the only great thing I got was my three boys and always told myself I would not marry anyone who did not love me and boy I was dumn i thought he really did and I put up with him cause though everything I could not come to grip's with the fact I was not loved from someone who I had falling in love with I even tried to keep my marrige going for my kids but after he did something really mean and down right a kick in the ass he made up a lie about helping a girl with a baby and a bad place with her man so I trusted him (stupid stupid stupid) and not to long after that he was fighting with her and not just letting her leave and it got worse and worse he and her got pregnet and I tried to get out but he got me pregnet (stupid stupid stupid) with my 2 child and stell trying not to beleave I lost everything I tried to win his love or what i hoped was love but even got pregnet a 3 time but still i was wasting my life but woke up and saw that i was way better off not their and i was going to make sure my kids where out of it but it got bad and and court where involved and my kids not have to deal with seeing everything he has done and I got away from and i have had cops and cps and classes for parenting and all through all of this he has injured one and did not get medical attenction and a week or so after that one of my other's ended up in the hospital with rsv and getting trancferd to a different hospital 250miles away from our home and their father said oh he was fine a few minets ago and this keeps going on and no one has done anything to stop it i have tried everything ligely to get this to stop but still nuthing I have done worked,
I get scared about not being able to keep my children safe and out of bad things but I feel i am failing as a mother but people and family tell me I am doing a good job and I still feel I am not doing what i need to portecket my family but this has been 3 years and still this is so hard to go though..
I found that being with my kids as much as I can really help's me and just make's me not regret that though it I got my 3 kids and I am heathy and finding out that I am able to handle being on my own with the help of friends and family cause they have picked me up when I was down way down and showed me I can do this and I don't need a husband to be able to live a veryhappy life and I have a better out look on being a great mom someday along with bump's along the way but there's nuthing better then hearing my boys wonderfull voices saying I love you mommy and getting a bear hug from them everyday!!
on Apr. 7, 2013 at 12:24 AM