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Her father is suppose to visit next weekend but....

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She doesn't want him here. She is only 4 and I did push but she hasn't changed her mind. She doesn't know who he is to her but she does know him. She has skyped with him in the past and he has visited but had not seen her in over a year and before that it was a year and half . It's like pulling teeth. We moved to a new place and doing week and I really need to make a tough decision either to just get him out of her life for good. He doesn't push for it so it would not be hard but then I will feel guilty or let him visit and hope she warms up to him. I have no idea. I want her to know him but not him get any ideas about taking her ect. He n ever wanted her and we have no court order ect. I will never do anything with out a court order. He does pay support when he wants to.

vtw I didn't move any further away then I was before just I n a different direction. I am nervous to have this man in her life but I know I don't feel guilty later on in life becaused I tried. I can't force someone to be a parent. 

That is my story briefly right now. 

He told me he might be getting married and if he does then its done. He can start his life with his new wife and we can just move on. 

She won't know what she is missing. My dad has been her daddy for her four years and that is fine. A family is not defined by having a mother and father it's about love and support always for the child. 

Update. So he decided not to tell me that he was going bring his family and I told him I do not want them here and he talked down to me when I cancelled the plans and actually said I can't cancel any time I want. I said yes I can. 

He has some nerve to talk to me like that. Besides I am going to Vito's my grandmother. She is not doing well and she is more important then his plans in which he made with out informing me or having no consideration of my space. Yes he was coming here so having respect for another person you are visiting space is respectful and the only right things to ddowel, I did decided not to text him updates or email him anything about her. No communication is best. I moved to start over. He doesn't make an effort so I will stop. That is what he wants. I am even thinking about stopping child support. 

by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 8:52 AM
Replies (11-17):
libramoon007
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 7:56 PM

It's not supposedly and we aren't going to court because he won't. He would. Lose. He hasn't been around. If I presumed it I would it for myself to have the paper work. He doesn't want the troubles or the hassles of always  dealing with me and neither do I. I don't want to have to deal with that because I just want him in her life if he wants but I am not going to push something he doesn't want. We have a good life. 

Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 9:20 PM
I don't know your story, only what you have said here. And there is always a chance he could change his mind and file, especially if he's getting married. A lot of guys change once a wife comes into the picture. I was merely letting you know that in this day and age custody isn't nearly as cut and dry as it used to be. No need to get defensive with me. Just offering things to keep in mind.


Quoting libramoon007:

It's not supposedly and we aren't going to court because he won't. He would. Lose. He hasn't been around. If I presumed it I would it for myself to have the paper work. He doesn't want the troubles or the hassles of always  dealing with me and neither do I. I don't want to have to deal with that because I just want him in her life if he wants but I am not going to push something he doesn't want. We have a good life. 


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libramoon007
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 9:26 PM

I am not being defensive. I am stating facts. I know if a woman got involved he changes. It sad men are like that. I would not allow it. I would disappear. I would never let him take her. He doesn't want court. He toldme because he has been there already. He tried to do it with out papers. Like I was that stupid. He is not getting my baby girl. I always told him, I am not afraid of court . I am not of afraid of a judge. Nothing to be afraid of because I have been here he has not. He is all words and no actions. I'll let him visit and see what happens. 

Bellmont
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:39 AM

My granddaughter was living with her baby's daddy, They broke up for a few months. the first thing she did was to go to court & got custody of her son. They got back together but she still has the papers that say she has custody of her son.

Is the father's name on the birth Certificate? If it is I would go to  court & make sure that you got custody of your daughter.

Good luck , what you do.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:30 AM

Well, let him visit your daughter and see what happens.  Not every new wife wants to see the ex's kids.  But, you don't really know the background of the new wife.  If the ex continues to be a deadbeat after the this visitation then I would go back to the way things were before.  Your child really shouldn't be pushed to be with her father if she doesn't want to.  And, since the ex has been an absent father the visitation will mor than likely be very rough on her.  It's not fair to the 4 yr old to go through this just because her father decided to stay away from her.  My ex is the complete opposite.  He hasn't paid and wants nothing to do with our daughter. 

libramoon007
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:47 PM

No he isn't on the birth certificate. It is going to be a rough visit. It's not like she is a baby. She has grown up the last four yrs with my family. He never pushed for visitation. He doesn't have a new wife yet. If it happens. All he said is possible. We shall see. 

yellownes8
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:51 AM
I would tell him he's either in it 100% or out. It doesn't matter how far away he lives. He could at least be consistent and comes once a month or something. There's no way I would let my kid's just pop up every year or whenever he pleases.
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