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About to be a single mom soon...how do you do it?

Posted by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:52 AM
  • 24 Replies

Me and  my current boyfriend of 1.5 years were ttc. I had 2 mc and now I am pg again. I am 41. Things took a turn for the worse so he will be moving out and back to his home state.

I make almost 40k a year and have shared cusody of my 7 year old son, and his dad pays 90% of his expenses. So wondering how moms do it..working, childcare, etc. Now I need to prepare. The father will have to find a new job when he goes back home and then I will collect cs from him. Thank god I have medical insurance.

by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ajohnson08099
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:32 PM
You are a lot better iff than a lot (me for sure lol)

Have a good support system that's all the advice I have but I'm still pregnant with my first so just beginning this journey
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Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Apr. 7, 2013 at 2:04 PM
2 moms liked this
You learn to budget and cut corners if needed. Good luck mama!!!
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amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 2:47 PM

Welcome.  Some things that help me are: putting away a little bit of money every month for unexpected expenses, hitting up sales, etc.  I also work from home so I don't have to worry about child-care expenses, but I understand that's not an option for everyone.

If you rent, I'd make sure that things like water & trash are included in your rent so that you aren't paying extra for those.  Cancel cable if you have it and switch to Netflix for when you want to watch something.

Welcome to the group & congrats on your pregnancy!


LifeCafe42
by Nora on Apr. 7, 2013 at 3:00 PM
Welcome! Start saving now infant care is really expensive check out home daycare and state assistance. Take each day as it comes
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jshapsisnyc
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 6:18 PM
Thank you! Been saving little each check and this was before I knew I was preggo so now going to save as much as possible. Me and my sons dad have shared custody so he pays mist expenses-thank goodness. But in the summer I take him places but the beach (which is less than 10 min walk) is free.


Quoting amonkeymom:

Welcome.  Some things that help me are: putting away a little bit of money every month for unexpected expenses, hitting up sales, etc.  I also work from home so I don't have to worry about child-care expenses, but I understand that's not an option for everyone.

If you rent, I'd make sure that things like water & trash are included in your rent so that you aren't paying extra for those.  Cancel cable if you have it and switch to Netflix for when you want to watch something.

Welcome to the group & congrats on your pregnancy!



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jshapsisnyc
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 6:19 PM
Definitely looking into state assistance such as wic, child care assistance, etc.


Quoting LifeCafe42:

Welcome! Start saving now infant care is really expensive check out home daycare and state assistance. Take each day as it comes

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Stephd710
by Silver Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 6:42 PM
Have a routine and a plan...and have backup plans for those plans! Save any money you can. Try to find a private in home sitter, they are cheaper than daycare centers. When I became a single mom my twins were one month old. I never for a second doubted that I could do it. It has its moments but I can honestly say that I love being a single mom now!
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jshapsisnyc
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 9:45 PM

Your def an inspiration, thank you :) I am still early, and need to go see the Dr to make sure the pg is viable, but still need a plan. The father isnt going to be a positive influence in his/her life and he will be moving 7 hours away, so I dont think i need to worry that he will try and come around too much. I wont deny him when we wants to visit  though.

Anyways, my son had a live out nanny, it was kind of expensive but i will look into what you said. How long of a leave did you take? i will only be able to take the 4-6 weeks instead of the 12 fmla because of the money. Need to pay rent, bills, etc.


Quoting Stephd710:

Have a routine and a plan...and have backup plans for those plans! Save any money you can. Try to find a private in home sitter, they are cheaper than daycare centers. When I became a single mom my twins were one month old. I never for a second doubted that I could do it. It has its moments but I can honestly say that I love being a single mom now!


 

jshapsisnyc
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 9:50 PM

 Thank you :) this board is helping me


Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

You learn to budget and cut corners if needed. Good luck mama!!!


 

SheciaBaby
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 9:52 PM
2 moms liked this
I'll make this very easy for you... And you will see it if youre a good mom. You can have a support system..that will help but at the end of the day.. You do what needs to be done. Whatever it takes. Forget everyone else...
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